TONY: Slow Burn (Raging Fire Book 1) - Kallypso Masters (types of ebook readers txt) 📗

Tony remained quiet. A few more actual positives were tossed out, including that the EMS unit had just finished a call and was able to arrive on scene quickly. Tony had nothing to add.

Then talk went to what could have gone better. “Maybe if we had upstream spotters warning us about debris coming?” Rafe suggested.

While that would have helped, Tony finally had something to contribute. “I could have gotten the PFD to the mother sooner if I’d tossed it while Brad was setting up the ladder truck.”

“They were too far out for any precision,” Rafe said. “And both her hands were busy holding on to the toddler.”

“Maybe I could have reached them after they fell in if I’d had my fins on.”

“Tony, do you believe you could have saved them by risking your own life?” the BC asked.

Rafe glanced at Tony and interjected before Tony could respond. “I know it seemed like all they had to do was reach out to grab your hand, but she seemed to be in the first stages of hypothermia. All the strength she had left was expended holding on to her daughter.”

Ignoring Rafe, Tony answered the BC directly. “Yes, sir.” He cleared the frog from his throat. “But you risk a lot to save a lot. I was within inches of them. I swam as hard as I could, but the current pulled them away faster than I could reach them.”

The BC’s gaze bore into Tony until he squirmed in his seat. “What was going through your head when you were thrown into the water, Tony.”

“I was the strongest swimmer in the swift-water training course we took in May. I should have been able to reach them. That’s why I pulled my quick release.”

“You tried your best.”

No. I failed to complete my mission.

The BC continued. “Was your gear working? Did any of it fail?”

“No. Everything worked perfectly.” Except me.

“Would you do it that way again?” the BC asked.

Given the same circumstances and conditions, would he? “Yes, sir.” This is why I became a firefighter—to save lives.

The BC nodded, but didn’t pursue it any further. He moved on to the placement of the safety lines and their visibility. They discussed the benefits of changing from white rope or string to neon colors. While more visible, they didn’t know if it would have changed anything in this situation, though.

“We might have had a more favorable outcome,” Rafe suggested, “if we had our own water-rescue team instead of relying on another county’s.”

The BC agreed, but added, “Our county’s budget won’t support one. Not this year, anyway.”

It always came down to money, but Tony couldn’t understand putting a price on lives that way.

After they’d discussed more positives and negatives, the BC complimented them on their teamwork and professionalism and informed them they’d all be expected to attend the CISD scheduled to begin in an hour at town hall.

There goes the rest of my day.

The Critical Incident Stress Debriefing was similar to the AAR but included all first responders, SAR volunteers, and anyone else affected by the drownings in an attempt to make sure they were aware of counseling services available to them, among other matters.

Tony had no intention of admitting to any signs of weakness around his colleagues. First responders dealt with death all the time without cracking up.

After the AAR adjourned, Tony was about to leave the station to catch a little downtime before the CISD when Rafe called him into his office again.

What now?

Chapter Eight

Inside the office, Tony sat down across from Rafe. “I just have one more thing to say that’s more from a brother’s perspective than from that of the lieutenant on the scene.” There was an awkward pause before Rafe leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk. “Watching you come off that safety rope took ten years off my life. The debris was hitting you from all sides, and I worried something might strike you in the neck or head and paralyze you—or worse.” Rafe leaned back and scrubbed his face before piercing him with a stern look. “If you ever put yourself in danger like that again, I’ll wring your neck.”

Tony had always respected his oldest brother, but he called bullshit. “You know you’d have done the same thing if you thought there was any chance of saving them.”

Rafe thought a moment then relaxed with a shrug. “Hard to say. Maybe.” He glanced away. “I guess a similar situation happened with me in a house fire where I didn’t give up the search fast enough after it had been called off.”

“The time you fell through the floor?”

Rafe nodded and returned his gaze to Tony. “I caught hell for it from my superiors too.” Rafe had spent several days in the hospital and many months doing PT to overcome his injuries from that incident. “Giving up when there are lives at stake—especially young ones like on Sunday—is the hardest thing we ever have to do in this job. But safety measures are in place to make sure we go home at night and are able to work our next shift to maybe make a difference on the next call.”

“I hear you, as both a brother and a lieutenant.” Tony couldn’t stop there. “In that moment, though, I truly thought I could save them.”

But I failed.

“You wouldn’t be fit to be in this career if you didn’t care enough to try.” So Rafe wasn’t going to rip him a new one after all? Good. Tony was too tired to fight back. “Probably best Mama doesn’t find out what happened, though. You’re her baby, and she’d only worry unnecessarily.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the baby remark. Angelina was the only baby in the family. But Tony was used to his big brothers treating him like one too.

“Now, how are you sleeping? Any nightmares?”

Tony’s own lieutenant had grilled him last night to make sure he hadn’t gone off the deep end. Tony shook his head.

You have to sleep in order to have