Johnny & I : The Island by Daria Paus (best novels to read txt) 📗

No matter how bad I felt for him, how much my heart wanted to share all the pain he kept to himself, I wasn't sure I was strong enough to handle it.

"You make me feel like I can go through this."

The words he'd spoken echoed in my mind.

"You keep on saving my life"

I started to cry.

I didn't want to save his life, I just wanted to get lost in his eyes. I wanted to get dizzy from kissing those full lips, wanted to touch him in the way I'd only been allowed in my dreams.

But meeting him had quickly made me realize he wasn't just a hot body. And the picture of the perfect Hollywood life was just another act. The reality wasn't as glamorous. The image of him I'd created in my mind was nothing but a two-dimensional creation of a naive fangirl. Johnny wasn't the flippant eye-candy that most girls thought he was.

He was a mess. Deeply troubled and with a sadness that leaked through no matter how carefully he tried to hide it. It had only taken me a few days to figure it out. And against my better judgment—I’d fallen for him just as fast.

“I wish I could end it all.”

I paced the room, wiping stubborn tears. He was a mess, no doubt about that. But he was my hot mess, and somewhere deep down I knew I could never abandon him. It didn't matter how I felt, how scared I was. It didn't even matter that he would leave me with a broken heart. I was already in too deep to get out.

“I’m glad you’re here with me.”

My eyes blurred.

Shit. He was just a few rooms away, and the image of him on that white marble floor was still imprinted in my mind.

The importance of the kiss faded. Maybe he didn't feel for me in that way. Maybe he was scared, too? And I couldn't blame him. I knew enough to know that he'd been badly burned more than once. Betrayed by the ones he'd loved the most.

Whatever the reason, it wasn't enough to shut him out. I couldn't be that selfish.

I found him in the same spot as I'd last seen him. My legs trembled as I walked silently into the bathroom to sit down next to him.

"Johnny?" My voice was just a whisper. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head but didn't move to look at me.

I placed a hand on his back. “Please don’t think of me like that."

He shifted, straightening his body to finally glance up at me.

Fresh tears sprung to my eyes.

He swallowed, taking a deep breath in a failed attempt to hide the pain that was written all over his face.

”I’ll stay away from you, I—" It was hard to say the words when all I wanted was the opposite; when it took all the self control I could muster not to wrap my arms around him and kiss him. “I just wanna be your friend. Nothin’ more."

"Bree," he whispered my name.

I shook my head. "It's okay."

I couldn't look at him. There was no way I would be able to look at him and hide the urge to rip his clothes off.

"Don't be upset because of me."

A mix of a scoff and a sob tore from his throat. I took his hand.

"I don't know what I did but . . .”

"It's not you."

I snorted. It's not you, it's me. How original.

"I know how that sounds," he said. "But really." He turned toward me. “I’m not who you think I am."

“I figured that out the moment I saw you.”

He ran a hand through his hair, sweeping stubborn strands out of his eyes as he seemed to consider my words. “You’re still here.” He sounded surprised.

“I like this version of you,” I said and he snorted. “You don’t need fake smiles and perfection around me. Everyone's messed up in their own way. It’s what makes us unique.”

“That’s a bloody understatement,” he muttered.

“You don’t have to be something you’re not when you’re with me.”

The words he’d been about to speak died on his lips. His eyes met mine, and the world faded around us. He reached out to touch my face, brushing tears away with gentle fingers.

My lips opened in a soft gasp.

And before I had time to understand what had happened, I was in his arms, crushed to his hard chest. He released me just to look at me, and the few seconds of staring at those soft lips and feeling his hot breath on my skin were more than I could handle. The moment his lips found mine, all the fear went up in smoke. He kissed me long and hard until we both gasped for air, and then more. Fire exploded in my body. My mind spun as my body moved on its own, hands touching him in places I'd only dared to dream of. His hands were in my hair, on my back. I hit the floor with a thud, but all I could think of was his hard body pressing me down and those lips ravishing mine.

Then just as suddenly he pulled away.

“Fuck, I’m—" his voice broke.

He was already on his way through the door when I scrambled to a sitting position.

"What the—"

His broken, "I'm sorry,” echoed in my head as my pulse throbbed in my temples.

Seriously? The little voice asked. What the hell was that? 

Sitting on the floor, I felt more confused than ever. The rational part of me whispered to me to stay the hell away from him. The other part, which had been brought to extreme highs could only think of how he would feel in my arms without the distraction of clothes.

He wanted me, there was no doubt after feeling him on top of me.

My legs felt like spaghetti as I got to my feet and stumbled to the door. Leaning on the doorframe I scanned the corridor. It was empty. For a few seconds, I hesitated, then went for it. He