Struggles and Triumphs - P. T. Barnum (top 20 books to read txt) 📗

to have thought that the showman himself ought to be a part of the show; and, at their request, I come before you. I sincerely thank you, in their behalf, for your patronage on this occasion. How much they need your substantial sympathy, the ashes across the street can tell you more eloquently than human tongue could utter. Those ashes are the remnants of “all the worldly goods” of some who appeal to you today.

For myself, I have been burned out so often, I am like the singer who was hissed on the stage; “Hiss away,” said he, “I am used to it.” My pecuniary loss is very serious, and occurring as it did, just before the holidays, it is all the more disastrous.

It may perhaps gratify my friends to know, however, that I am still enabled to invest another half million of dollars without disturbing my bank account. The public will have amusements, and they ought to be those of an elevating and an unobjectionable character. For many years it has been my pleasure to provide a class of instructive and amusing entertainments, to which a refined Christian mother can take her children with satisfaction.

I believe that no other man in America possesses the desire and facilities which I have in this direction. I have, therefore, taken steps, through all my agents in Europe and this country, which will enable me to put upon the road, early in April, the most gigantic and complete travelling museum, menagerie and hippodrome ever organized.

It has been asked whether I will build up a large museum and menagerie in New York. Well, I am now nearly sixty-three years of age. I can buy plenty of building sites and get plenty of leased lots for a new museum; but I cannot get a new lease of life.

Younger members of my family desire me to erect in this city an establishment worthy of New York and of myself. It will be no small undertaking; for if I erect such an establishment, it will possess novel and costly features never before attempted. I have it under consideration, and within a month shall determine whether or not I shall make another attempt; of one thing, however, you may be assured, ladies and gentlemen, although conflagrations may, for the present, disconcert my plans, yet while I have life and health no fire can burn nor water quench my ambition to gratify my patrons at whatever cost of money or of effort. I shall never lend my name where my labors and heart do not go with it, and the public shall never fail to find at any of my exhibitions their money’s worth ten times told.

The following paragraph from the New York Tribune of January 16, 1873, will give an inkling of what I am about, as I send these last pages to press:

Barnum And The Automaton Talker.

Mr. Phineas T. Barnum, the genial showman, contributes a good deal to our amusement, and all New Yorkers have a kindly side for him. Here is The Philadelphia Press’s account of his latest achievement:

“Early yesterday morning Prof. Faber received a call, at the Girard House, from the renowned showman, P. T. Barnum, who is now on a visit to Philadelphia in pursuit of wonders for his great travelling show. Within two hours Prof. Faber had given notice to the Emperor of Austria of his forfeiture of £200 for not exhibiting his talking machine at the Vienna Exposition next summer, and a contract was signed by Mr. Barnum, agreeing to pay $20,000 for the services of Mr. and Mrs. Faber and their wonderful automaton talker during the tenting season of 1873. No more marvelous exhibition was ever seen in a travelling tent. It is the most wonderful achievement of ingenuity that this age of new inventions has yet witnessed. Although it looks no more like a talking machine than an old-fashioned weaver’s loom, or a modern sewing machine, it converses plainly and distinctly in all languages, giving every intonation of the human voice to extraordinary perfection. Mr. Barnum says that 10,000,000 of visitors will hear this wonderful wooden conversationalist during the coming Summer.”

It is amusing to witness the difference in men’s dispositions. I arrived in New York from New Orleans the night before New Year’s, just a week after the fire. I found my manager, Mr. Coup, and my son-in-law, Mr. Hurd, in rather low spirits. I laughed at them and called them my deacons, but begged them not to go into mourning.

“It’s astonishing how you can laugh when you know our museum building and all of our rare animals are burned up, and we cannot get more in time for the spring show,” drawled the lugubrious Coup, in an injured tone.

“If the fire had waited ten days till the holidays were over, we should have been $50,000 dollars better off,” chimed in the chopfallen Hurd.

“If the skies had fallen we should have caught larks,” I replied; “but as the skies did not fall, let us be content with what is still left us.”

“As for you, Coup,” I continued, “you talk about what we cannot do; now, have I not told you often enough, the word ‘can’t’ is not in my dictionary?”

“But you can’t help the fire, can you?” retorted Coup.

“I shall not try, but I can restore all it has destroyed, and much more,” I replied; “and I will do it within three months at furthest.”

“That is easier said than done,” responded Coup with a sigh.

“Surely, Father, you don’t think we can get a new show upon the road before July, do you?” asked Mr. Hurd.

“I repeat that I see nothing to prevent our exhibiting the largest and best show on this earth, three months from today,” I replied; “all that is required are energy, pluck, courage, and a liberal outlay of money. All our golden chariots and cages, our horses, harness, canvas tents and wagons are saved, besides which we have thirty new cages nearly finished. Telegraphs, Atlantic cables and our agents