Nightmare Abbey - Thomas Love Peacock (best classic books TXT) 📗

know what he is going to do, or what I am going to do, or what anyone is going to do; for all this is incomprehensible.”

“I can explain it all,” said Scythrop, “in a most satisfactory manner, if you will but have the goodness to leave us alone.”

“Pray, sir, to which act of the tragedy of the Great Mogul does this incident belong?”

“I entreat you, my dear sir, leave us alone.”

Stella threw herself into a chair, and burst into a tempest of tears. Scythrop sat down by her, and took her hand. She snatched her hand away, and turned her back upon him. He rose, sat down on the other side, and took her other hand. She snatched it away, and turned from him again. Scythrop continued entreating Mr. Glowry to leave them alone; but the old gentleman was obstinate, and would not go.

“I suppose, after all,” said Mr. Glowry maliciously, “it is only a phenomenon in acoustics, and this young lady is a reflection of sound from concave surfaces.”

Some one tapped at the door: Mr. Glowry opened it, and Mr. Hilary entered. He had been seeking Mr. Glowry, and had traced him to Scythrop’s tower. He stood a few moments in silent surprise, and then addressed himself to Mr. Glowry for an explanation.

“The explanation,” said Mr. Glowry, “is very satisfactory. The Great Mogul has taken lodgings at Kensington, and the external part of the ear is a cartilaginous funnel.”

“Mr. Glowry, that is no explanation.”

“Mr. Hilary, it is all I know about the matter.”

“Sir, this pleasantry is very unseasonable. I perceive that my niece is sported with in a most unjustifiable manner, and I shall see if she will be more successful in obtaining an intelligible answer.” And he departed in search of Marionetta.

Scythrop was now in a hopeless predicament. Mr. Hilary made a hue and cry in the abbey, and summoned his wife and Marionetta to Scythrop’s apartment. The ladies, not knowing what was the matter, hastened in great consternation. Mr. Toobad saw them sweeping along the corridor, and judging from their manner that the devil had manifested his wrath in some new shape, followed from pure curiosity.

Scythrop meanwhile vainly endeavoured to get rid of Mr. Glowry and to pacify Stella. The latter attempted to escape from the tower, declaring she would leave the abbey immediately, and he should never see her or hear of her more. Scythrop held her hand and detained her by force, till Mr. Hilary reappeared with Mrs. Hilary and Marionetta. Marionetta, seeing Scythrop grasping the hand of a strange beauty, fainted away in the arms of her aunt. Scythrop flew to her assistance; and Stella with redoubled anger sprang towards the door, but was intercepted in her intended flight by being caught in the arms of Mr. Toobad, who exclaimed⁠—“Celinda!”

“Papa!” said the young lady disconsolately.

“The devil is come among you,” said Mr. Toobad, “how came my daughter here?”

“Your daughter!” exclaimed Mr. Glowry.

“Your daughter!” exclaimed Scythrop, and Mr. and Mrs. Hilary.

“Yes,” said Mr. Toobad, “my daughter Celinda.”

Marionetta opened her eyes and fixed them on Celinda; Celinda in return fixed hers on Marionetta. They were at remote points of the apartment. Scythrop was equidistant from both of them, central and motionless, like Muhammad’s coffin.

“Mr. Glowry,” said Mr. Toobad, “can you tell by what means my daughter came here?”

“I know no more,” said Mr. Glowry, “than the Great Mogul.”

“Mr. Scythrop,” said Mr. Toobad, “how came my daughter here?”

“I did not know, sir, that the lady was your daughter.”

“But how came she here?”

“By spontaneous locomotion,” said Scythrop, sullenly.

“Celinda,” said Mr. Toobad, “what does all this mean?”

“I really do not know, sir.”

“This is most unaccountable. When I told you in London that I had chosen a husband for you, you thought proper to run away from him; and now, to all appearance, you have run away to him.”

“How, sir! was that your choice?”

“Precisely; and if he is yours too we shall be both of a mind, for the first time in our lives.”

“He is not my choice, sir. This lady has a prior claim: I renounce him.”

“And I renounce him,” said Marionetta.

Scythrop knew not what to do. He could not attempt to conciliate the one without irreparably offending the other; and he was so fond of both, that the idea of depriving himself forever of the society of either was intolerable to him: he therefore retreated into his stronghold, mystery; maintained an impenetrable silence; and contented himself with stealing occasionally a deprecating glance at each of the objects of his idolatry. Mr. Toobad and Mr. Hilary, in the meantime, were each insisting on an explanation from Mr. Glowry, who they thought had been playing a double game on this occasion. Mr. Glowry was vainly endeavouring to persuade them of his innocence in the whole transaction. Mrs. Hilary was endeavouring to mediate between her husband and brother. The Honourable Mr. Listless, the Reverend Mr. Larynx, Mr. Flosky, Mr. Asterias, and Aquarius, were attracted by the tumult to the scene of action, and were appealed to severally and conjointly by the respective disputants. Multitudinous questions, and answers en masse, composed a charivari, to which the genius of Rossini alone could have given a suitable accompaniment, and which was only terminated by Mrs. Hilary and Mr. Toobad retreating with the captive damsels. The whole party followed, with the exception of Scythrop, who threw himself into his armchair, crossed his left foot over his right knee, placed the hollow of his left hand on the interior ankle of his left leg, rested his right elbow on the elbow of the chair, placed the ball of his right thumb against his right temple, curved the forefinger along the upper part of his forehead, rested the point of the middle finger on the bridge of his nose, and the points of the two others on the lower part of the palm, fixed his eyes intently on the veins in the back of his left hand, and sat in this position like the immoveable Theseus, who, as is well known to many who have not been at college, and to some few who have, sedet, oeternumque sedebit.13 We hope the admirers of the