My Fake Husband by Black, L. (lightest ebook reader .TXT) 📗

your mother. That’s how we got Laura. I pissed your mom off good, stayed out all night with the guys, then got caught lying that I had to go on call at the station, and I was there all along. She knew I was full of shit. I got her some nice wine, some flowers. One thing led to another, and the next thing you know, we have another kid,” my father said.

“Thanks, Dad,” Laura said, rolling her eyes. “So romantic. You screwed up, bought some flowers and got Mom drunk. Beautiful conception story.”

“What? Like you planned that one you’re carrying now?” our dad said.

“Too soon,” Mom said, clearing her throat. “Don’t upset my pregnant daughter or I might just mix up your pills one of these days, you old fart.”

I hooted with laughter, and Laura joined in. Brody pushed back from the table. “I am staying out of this one. Laura, are you full? Do you need a sheet cake and a gallon of ice cream to settle your stomach?”

“Shut up, it’s your giant baby that’s hungry all the time,” she giggled.

My lifelong best friend leaned in and kissed my little sister’s forehead. She cuddled into the circle of his arm. It had taken some getting used to, seeing them together as a couple. But it made me happier every time I saw them together now. The way he took care of her, and she leaned into him, they just seemed like the right fit. It also made me ache a little, because I was seeing them through the lens of Trixie and me, of having been on the inside of a marriage that felt right no matter how it looked to anyone else.

I had to quit looking at everything like it was about us, about me. It was self-centered and it was starting to seem like I was telling myself fairy tales. Dirty ones most of the time, but that was beside the point. I missed her so much. Even knowing that she had repairs and work to do at the shop didn’t help me shake the feeling she was avoiding me. I sighed heavily and got a beer out of the fridge.

“Lite beer, Ma?” I asked, looking at the can.

“What? There was a sale. It’s not like your father can have any with his kidneys. I like to watch my calories.”

“Okay,” I said, putting the can back.

“Boy, let me take you out for a real drink. No offense, Ma Vance, but I think this man could use a real beer,” Brody said.

“You just don’t wanna help with dishes,” my mom said.

“He’s just gonna abandon his knocked-up wife to go out drinking, I see how it is,” Laura teased.

“You literally drove yourself here. And as you keep reminding me, you’re not disabled, just gestating, right?”

“Ugh, I hate when you listen and repeat it back to me. Get out of here,” she laughed, and he gave her a kiss.

Brody and I headed for the bar. We had barely ordered when he asked what I had up my ass.

“Nothing.”

“Are you having feelings about aging and your mortality since the fire?”

“Uh, no. I’m not quite that deep, Bro,” I laughed, taking a long pull of my beer.

“So if it’s not existential dread, it’s the girl. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Right. So when ‘nothing’ happened, was it not any good? Did she call you somebody else’s name? Was it my name? Because I can’t help it if all the ladies want me.”

“No, asshole,” I snorted, “the only name she was screaming was mine. But it makes no difference. It only happened once, the night of the fire. Since then she basically runs out of the room anytime she sees me.”

“Maybe she thinks you think it was a mistake and she wants to pretend it didn’t happen?”

“I think she regrets sleeping with me. I told her that I care about her. I was very honest with her, and I didn’t try to act like it was nothing. But afterward, she got all weird about me working in a dangerous job and said she could never live like that. Then she just went back to her room and that’s the literal last conversation we’ve had. She won’t let me help at the shop or anything. She answers my messages, but not like she used to.”

“How was that?”

“Fun and sometimes flirty and she used to send me a bunch of stupid TikToks of animals with Siri narration behind them and stuff. Things she thought were hilarious, and we’d talk about them later and have these inside jokes about.” I shook my head, finishing my beer and ordering another.

“So things were great and then you hooked up.”

“Basically. I mean, I’m closer to her than anyone I’ve ever been with. I never had a girlfriend for very long before, much less lived with one, but a couple weeks with Trixie and I was like, man, this is why guys settle down. They want this. They want somebody to laugh with and to know she’ll be there every night and have supper together even if it’s just some crappy drive-thru tacos I picked up on the way home. Because they’re suddenly not crappy if we’re eating them together in front of Die Hard with a Vengeance.”

“That was a stupid movie.”

“Shut up. It’s a great movie. You’re a stupid movie.”

“What?” he said, baffled.

“Nothing. I’m just—confused.”

“Well, here’s my advice, which you have to listen to because I bought you a beer. I acted like an ass trying to keep away from your sister. And then when she got snatched, I would’ve given anything, both legs, whatever, to have five minutes to tell her how I felt. Because that regret was like a goddamn boulder on my chest. I could’ve lost her forever and nothing would’ve been right ever again. And it can happen, man.”

“I know. It was horrible the way you lost Missy. I’m glad you’re happy again. You deserve it.”

“That is—unexpected from you. Thanks. We tried to stay away because we knew