The Bachelor Bargain (Secrets, Scandals, and Spies) - Michaels, Maddison (an ebook reader TXT) 📗

feeling was selfish. “My limp has been my penance for so long, I tend to forget I am not the only one with an impediment. I am sorry for suggesting you wouldn’t understand. That was wrong of me.”

“Why is it your penance?” He seemed genuinely curious as he glanced down at her leg and her cane beside it.

“Doesn’t one have to pay a penance for being responsible for one’s mother’s death?”

“I suppose it depends on how responsible one is for the death. What happened?”

And Livie didn’t know why, but she told him. Him, when she’d never really spoken about it before to anyone. “I was eight at the time and with my mother at our country estate. My father had been called back to London on some urgent business the week before and my brothers had gone with him. The day my mother and I were to join them, we woke up to snow.”

The memories came back to her with vivid clarity. She could still feel the coldness of the snow as it drifted through the air. She could still hear the wonder in her mother’s voice at the sight. She could still taste the bitterness of when everything went horribly wrong.

Her throat tightened, and her hands clenched into fists. “I can still see the perfect little flakes falling from the sky, softly floating to cover the ground in a bed of white. It was magical, just like a winter wonderland. I begged my mother to delay our journey to allow me to play in it for a bit, to which she laughingly agreed. We ran around in that snow together, creating snowballs and chasing the flakes for what felt like hours. It’s one of my most cherished memories with her.” She glanced over at Sebastian, who was listening to her, as she’d felt no man had in a long time.

“What happened?” he asked again.

“When we were eventually ready to leave, Gregson cautioned against going, as the snow was starting to get thicker, but Mother had promised Father we would return that day, so off we set. About two hours into the trip, the wheels lost their traction and the carriage overturned. Mother and I were trapped inside the carriage, broken parts of it on top of us, while poor Gregson was thrown from his perch and broke his arm. He valiantly tried to free us but couldn’t on his own, so he rushed off through the snow to get help.

“I didn’t realize at the time that the panicked look of terror in his eyes was for my mother, who had a piece of the roof impaled in her stomach, while I got off lightly with some wood crushing my left leg. She held my hand and comforted me, telling me all would be well, while we waited for help to arrive, and I slowly watched as the light faded from her eyes. I stayed holding her hand, pleading with her to wake up, not really knowing she was dead.”

Shaking her head, Livie pulled herself from the memory and focused her eyes back onto Sebastian. “How I wish I could venture back in time and not ask to play in the snow. We would have left at the time we’d meant to and my mother would still be alive.”

“That is why you consider your limp penance?” Sebastian nodded, his eyes lit with comprehension. “You believe you are to blame?”

“I am responsible.” Livie looked him in the eyes, daring him to contradict her. “Are you going to tell me it wasn’t my fault? That it was just a terrible accident?” As so many others had told her before.

“No. I’m not.” There was neither pity nor praise in his voice.

Livie’s body suddenly relaxed, the tension she’d been holding releasing at his words. To finally have someone simply accept and understand her truth, was liberating.

“It would be hypocritical of me to do so,” he continued, “since I, too, consider myself responsible for my own mother’s death.”

“You do?” The news was a surprise to Livie.

“Yes.” He shrugged. “Perhaps I shall tell you about it sometime, though right now I expect you need to get inside before the household awakens, which, judging by the rising sun, will be momentarily.”

Glancing up to the east, sure enough, the shimmering light of the dawning morning was starting to slide over the sky. And he was right, she did need to be in bed before anyone was up, especially considering her brothers all thought she’d taken the family carriage and left the McAuley ball before them with a headache.

“You’re right, I do need to go.” As she stared at him in the dawning light of day, it struck her that she had well and truly made a bargain with the Bastard of Baker Street. “You will have your men sort out the situation with Mr. Mooney?”

He raised an impervious eyebrow, which would give the Dragon Duchess herself a run for her money in terms of its ability to convey annoyance in one simple stroke. “I’ve said it will be done and it will be done. I shall send you a note with the address of your new secret headquarters, which you can then go and inspect at your leisure.”

“’Tis a serious endeavor, I’ll have you know. And one you are now a silent partner of.” She placed her hand on her hip and glared at him. “How will I know the note is actually from you?”

“I shall sign it with the initials SP to signify my silent partner status. Suitable?”

“You are hilarious. Though that does remind me I shall need the thousand pounds you have agreed to invest. We still must purchase a printing press, and the printer and his apprentice need to be paid, especially as I have now tasked them to print teaser pamphlets and get them out in circulation today.”

“I’m not giving you one thousand pounds. I’m giving you two thousand.”

Her jaw dropped open. “Two thousand. But I requested only one.”

“I intend for the gazette to