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leave now? It’s freezing down here.” Danna rubbed her arms, and even Avia had to admit it was cold. It had been sweltering that afternoon, so she hadn’t bothered with a jacket. Now that the game was over, however, she was fully aware they were in the basement of a building cranking enough AC for a second ice age.

Avia stood and began collecting her cards. “Thanks for the game—the money,” she added with a wink to Danna. “Gotta go over stuff for tomorrow’s lessons.”

“Excuse me?” Rachel challenged from across the table. Avia knew this would happen. It always did. She held back the exasperated sigh and instead coyly raised an eyebrow.

“You said you were going to the movies with us,” Rachael continued. “After bailing last time.”

“And the time before that,” Danna added with exasperation. “This is the first time we’ve seen you in three days!”

“I’m sorry guys, but I really have to get home. This last keyboard student asked to reschedule for the morning, and he’s a lot of work. If I go to the movies, then I’ll join you for drinks, and if I join you for drinks, I won’t get home until two a.m.” She enunciated each syllable on the last part. A lie, yes, but they seemed to buy it. It was easier than trying to explain how the elation of victory could vanish in seconds; how the small room now felt claustrophobic, and how her friends were now wardens fighting to keep her there.

“Whatever,” Danna laughed, stretching her back over the chair. “I’m starting to think that, outside of this room and when you come over, you might not really exist. Just a figment of our imagination or some kinda voodoo!” She waved her hands in the air like she was about to cast a spell.

“But seriously,” Rachel said, placing a hand on Avia’s shoulder. She flinched at the touch but rolled her shoulders to make the gesture natural. “You need to come out with us one of these nights. You’re hot, you’re fiery, you got that ‘exotic beauty’ going for you—where are your parents from again?”

“My mom’s Israeli, my dad was born in Chile,” Avia sighed with a knowing grin.

“Perfect!” Rachel beamed. “You don’t see that kind of combo just strolling down the street. You’re caliente, baby! You could get any guy you so much as glance at, on his knees, begging for your approval.”

“Um, I think you mean ‘mina’,” Avia said, laughing. She made her way to the door and gripped the knob. “And I’m too busy to date!  But really, I promise, next time I’ll go out with you guys for sure.”

“Farewell, love!” they called as the door closed behind.

Finally.

Avia opened the double doors of the library and stepped into the warm, Tallahassee sun. She normally rushed to get off campus as quickly as possible, but today, the open sky soothed her. She put in her headphones and started her playlist, beginning with Beethoven’s 5th Symphony. She walked around the university for what could have been an hour, watching the different people. Couples were sprawled out under trees, romantically lost in each other’s eyes. Students zig-zagged their way through the sidewalks, trying to get to class on time. And of course, there was the men’s track team, which Avia found particularly humorous. They always ran their laps around the university shirtless, making sure to puff out their chests and speed up whenever they were passing a cute girl.

Sometimes she wondered if things would be different if she actually took classes there. She started to muse over the idea but just as quickly banished the thought. Music was one of the only two things in life she cared about; the sheer thought of homework, papers, and studying blanched when compared to the simplicity of teaching kids piano, then leaving. She’d have more in common with Rachel, Danna, and the other students she’d met through them if she were to attend, but the strings attached would just tie a knot on another anxiety-ridden box. No matter how pretty the box was, it’d just leave her hollow.

Stupid.

She’d done it again. Right as she’d started to relax, it returned. The heavy melancholy that had long-since befriended her soul now pressed its heels into her chest. She wanted to collapse under its weight sink into the earth; to rot with the rest of the world. It was always like this. The world played in perfect harmony while she was a half-step up, and every breath was in a minor key.

She had turned down the planned evening with her friends in the hope that some space would help, but to no avail. The wave hit her like a truck. Her mood plummeted, and all she wanted now was to bury her face in a pillow and sleep for weeks. She hated feeling this way, but as the years went by, she grew used to the resting sadness. The time she spent alone was the world’s loss, not hers.

Avia cranked the volume as she cut through the soccer field, hoping to drown reality with the thundering orchestra of Mozart’s Andante. Increasing her steps, she kept her head down the entire four blocks home.

The glass doors to her building slid open, and Avia stepped into the lobby. The elevator opened within seconds of hitting UP, only to reveal a frantic mother and her crying infant.

Choking down a plethora of rude comments, Avia gave the socially required polite nod. She quickly hit the button for 19 then leaned against the railing, praying they wouldn’t be stopping every floor for more passengers.

Ding.

The door opened fifteen seconds later, and she nearly bolted down the hall. Another ten seconds, and she was unlocking her door. She tossed her bags onto the nearest chair and collapsed into the couch. She stared up to the high ceiling and a ghost of a smile

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