Accidentaly Divine by Dakota Cassidy (best large ereader .TXT) 📗

her back to the present. “George? Did you hear me? Is everything okay?”

She shook her head to clear the cobwebs. “Do you mean are-there-any-rogue-demons-chasing-me-for-my-wings okay? Or just in general, trying-to-fix-this-whole-Cabo-vacation-mess okay?”

Dex frowned as he pulled his sandwich from a brown paper bag. “Both. I’m worried about what happened last night at Marty’s, George. I want you to take extra care.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing. See that person over there by the fountain?” She pointed to a figure of average height in a long black trench coat with a fedora pulled over their eyes.

He squinted out at the white landscape and frowned. “Uh-huh.”

“That’s Marty playing international spy. Darnell was here earlier to keep watch on me, but he got some tip about who might want my wings from his contacts in Hell. So Marty took an early lunch to be my relief bodyguard. I haven’t been alone all morning. If Nina wasn’t skulking behind me, making every senior far and wide fall in love with her, it was Wanda, effortlessly gliding down the halls like the Queen of England. In fact, Nina’s so good with them, I think Eulie Atkins is going to leave her his entire collection of Civil War memorabilia, including a forage cap rumored to have been worn by Robert E. Lee, and that was after only one conversation with her at breakfast.”

Wanda hadn’t been kidding when she said Nina loved seniors. For all the complaining she’d done about sit baths and enemas, she sure had made fast friends with the seniors as she served them breakfast.

Dex barked a husky laugh as he shook his head in disbelief. “Eulie? Really? That old codger?”

George nodded. “Yup, Eulie. He was so enamored, I’m worried he might leave Tish for her. And Wanda? Yikes, she’s so graceful and kind. Everyone wanted to talk to her while she was trying to take phone calls in the beauty salon, and I shudder to think what some of the women would say if they knew Marty owned Bobbie-Sue and Pack Cosmetics.”

Dex gave her a knowing look. “Man, I love those women. They’re ride or die. I told you they’d look out for you. Either way, I don’t care how much protection you have, please stay aware. I don’t understand what good your wings would do for a demon, especially in Hell, but I’m going to find out as soon as I can get ahold of Titus. Until then, please be safe.”

Said the guardian angel… George sighed. “Okay, that aside, I have some news.”

He cocked a dark eyebrow at her. “Meaning?”

George swallowed hard, loosening the scarf Marty had so creatively showed her how to tie around her neck this morning. “I’ve decided I don’t know if I can do this, Dex.”

She’d opted to take her lunch break in her car after a long morning of checking on flights for a group trip to Cabo, where the travel agent gave her nothing but grief and an entirely different price than she’d quoted her last week.

“What?” he asked, taking a big bite of his tuna sandwich. “Book flights to Cabo? Poor George,” he teased.

“No. I mean Effie Sampson. She’s who I’m supposed to help.”

Dex stopped chewing and looked at her. “How do you know?”

“I know because I heard the voice in my head say she’s the one.”

“Ah, yeah. The voice. The disembodied voice that sounds like a celebrity?”

She jabbed a finger in the air. “That’s the one. It was Darth Vader, if you must know. Is that you-know-who?” George’s eyes went upward in reverence.

Dex laughed and smiled his handsome smile. “No. That’s Gilbert. He works in Assignments and he was once a voice actor and impressionist. You should hear his Robin Williams ordering fast food. It’s on point.”

She laughed at the thought, but then she sobered. She had a job to do and even if the subject was Effie Sampson, she wanted to do it right. If she ever wanted to find a place to fit in, it was here—especially seeing as someone’s happiness was at stake.

“So, sensei, what now?”

He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Now we find out why she needs your help, George.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll just ask her. ‘Say, Effie Sampson, resident sourpuss, what is it I can help make better in your life today? I’m an angel, you know. I fix things. What can I fix for you?’” She made a face at him. “Are you kidding me? She’ll bite my face off, Dex. You know what she’s like.”

Dex turned and smiled at her, the vinyl of her car’s seat crunching as he changed positions. “You know, that’s not half bad. Maybe I’ll try that approach next time.”

She gave him a nudge with her hand and made a face at him. “Are you my team leader or aren’t you? Be a leader, please. I mean, I almost always run the other way when Effie comes around because her discontent with everything and everyone is legendary, not to mention loud. How am I going to stomach her for longer than the two seconds it takes to run past her with a drive-by fake cheerful wave?”

Dex gave her a thoughtful glance. “Have you given thought to the idea she behaves poorly for a reason? I’m not making excuses for her. She is what one would classify as crotchety old lady, but why do you suppose that is? Does she even know that no one likes her?”

She leaned her head on her fist and sat back against the doorframe. “Well, I’d think her first clue was seeing everyone from behind when they turn around and practically trip over themselves to run the other way, Dex. And if that isn’t enough, maybe the fact that no one will sit with her, I’ve heard not even during church services, should cinch the deal. You can’t really think she doesn’t know she’s mean. She has no friends. No visitors. Of course she knows she’s not exactly a good time.”

Dex’s gaze was intent. “But why is she mean, George?