No Name - Wilkie Collins (free e books to read online .TXT) 📗

can take me to no place,” she said, gently, “which I shall think of as I think of the place where you found me. They can take me to no dearer friend than the friend who saved my life.”

There was a moment’s silence between them.

“We have been very happy here,” he went on, in lower and lower tones. “You won’t forget me when we have said goodbye?”

She turned pale as the words passed his lips, and, leaving her chair, knelt down at the table, so as to look up into his face, and to force him to look into hers.

“Why do you talk of it?” she asked. “We are not going to say goodbye, at least not yet.”

“I thought⁠—” he began.

“Yes?”

“I thought your friends were coming here⁠—”

She eagerly interrupted him. “Do you think I would go away with anybody,” she said, “even with the dearest relation I have in the world, and leave you here, not knowing and not caring whether I ever saw you again? Oh, you don’t think that of me!” she exclaimed, with the passionate tears springing into her eyes⁠—“I’m sure you don’t think that of me!”

“No,” he said; “I never have thought, I never can think, unjustly or unworthily of you.”

Before he could add another word she left the table as suddenly as she had approached it, and returned to her chair. He had unconsciously replied in terms that reminded her of the hard necessity which still remained unfulfilled⁠—the necessity of telling him the story of the past. Not an idea of concealing that story from his knowledge crossed her mind. “Will he love me, when he knows the truth, as he loves me now?” That was her only thought as she tried to approach the subject in his presence without shrinking from it.

“Let us put my own feelings out of the question,” she said. “There is a reason for my not going away, unless I first have the assurance of seeing you again. You have a claim⁠—the strongest claim of anyone⁠—to know how I came here, unknown to my friends, and how it was that you found me fallen so low.”

“I make no claim,” he said, hastily. “I wish to know nothing which distresses you to tell me.”

“You have always done your duty,” she rejoined, with a faint smile. “Let me take example from you, if I can, and try to do mine.”

“I am old enough to be your father,” he said, bitterly. “Duty is more easily done at my age than it is at yours.”

His age was so constantly in his mind now that he fancied it must be in her mind too. She had never given it a thought. The reference he had just made to it did not divert her for a moment from the subject on which she was speaking to him.

“You don’t know how I value your good opinion of me,” she said, struggling resolutely to sustain her sinking courage. “How can I deserve your kindness, how can I feel that I am worthy of your regard, until I have opened my heart to you? Oh, don’t encourage me in my own miserable weakness! Help me to tell the truth⁠—force me to tell it, for my own sake if not for yours!”

He was deeply moved by the fervent sincerity of that appeal.

“You shall tell it,” he said. “You are right⁠—and I was wrong.” He waited a little, and considered. “Would it be easier to you,” he asked, with delicate consideration for her, “to write it than to tell it?”

She caught gratefully at the suggestion. “Far easier,” she replied. “I can be sure of myself⁠—I can be sure of hiding nothing from you, if I write it. Don’t write to me on your side!” she added, suddenly, seeing with a woman’s instinctive quickness of penetration the danger of totally renouncing her personal influence over him. “Wait till we meet, and tell me with your own lips what you think.”

“Where shall I tell it?”

“Here!” she said eagerly. “Here, where you found me helpless⁠—here, where you have brought me back to life, and where I have first learned to know you. I can bear the hardest words you say to me if you will only say them in this room. It is impossible I can be away longer than a month; a month will be enough and more than enough. If I come back⁠—” She stopped confusedly. “I am thinking of myself,” she said, “when I ought to be thinking of you. You have your own occupations and your own friends. Will you decide for us? Will you say how it shall be?”

“It shall be as you wish. If you come back in a month, you will find me here.”

“Will it cause you no sacrifice of your own comfort and your own plans?”

“It will cause me nothing,” he replied, “but a journey back to the City.” He rose and took his hat. “I must go there at once,” he added, “or I shall not be in time.”

“It is a promise between us?” she said, and held out her hand.

“Yes,” he answered, a little sadly; “it is a promise.”

Slight as it was, the shade of melancholy in his manner pained her. Forgetting all other anxieties in the anxiety to cheer him, she gently pressed the hand he gave her. “If that won’t tell him the truth,” she thought, “nothing will.”

It failed to tell him the truth; but it forced a question on his mind which he had not ventured to ask himself before. “Is it her gratitude, or her love; that is speaking to me?” he wondered. “If I was only a younger man, I might almost hope it was her love.” That terrible sum in subtraction which had first presented itself on the day when she told him her age began to trouble him again as he left the house. He took twenty from forty-one, at intervals, all the way back to the shipowners’ office in Cornhill.

Left by herself, Magdalen approached the table