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ask as I rush over to her bedside and reach for her hand.

‘I don’t feel great,’ she tells me, and a gentle touch of her forehead confirms she is running a slight temperature.

‘Is it the baby? Are you in any pain?’ I ask, hoping that labour isn’t the next obstacle that I’m going to have to deal with.

‘No, the baby’s fine. I just feel drained.’

‘You have a bit of a temperature. Perhaps you have a cold.’

Laura lets out a long sigh. ‘That’s all I need.’

‘It’s okay. Just stay in bed and rest today. You’ll be fine in no time.’

‘No way. I’m coming into the village with you.’

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

‘I don’t care. I’m not staying here by myself again.’

Maybe I will have to start delivering my rehearsed excuse to her as to why she can’t come with me, after all. But then Laura attempts to get out of bed and it’s clear she isn’t as fit as she needs to be to make the journey.

‘Urgh,’ she mutters, and she stops moving with her legs halfway out of bed.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, holding onto her shoulder which she will take as me being supportive but really, it’s because I’m making it harder for her to get up to her feet.

‘Everything’s spinning,’ she says as she settles back down onto her pillow.

‘I told you that you need to rest,’ I say, pulling the duvet back over her and tucking it in around her. ‘I don’t want you getting out of bed until you are feeling better.’

‘This is so annoying,’ Laura says. ‘I never get ill.’

‘It’s probably the weather. You’ve caught a cold.’

‘I wasn’t the one out in the rain. You were.’

‘Yes, but your immune system is much weaker than mine at the moment. You’re carrying a child, remember.’

‘How can I forget?’ Laura replies, resting her hands on top of the part of the duvet that is covering her massive bump.

‘Just relax,’ I say, feeling myself relaxing now that I’m sure Laura is not going to mention coming into the village with me again today. ‘Can I get you anything?’

‘A glass of cranberry juice,’ she replies, which doesn’t surprise me, and I nod and head for the bedroom door.

‘What would I do without you?’ she asks me just before I can leave.

I turn back and look at her lying in the bed, and it’s quite the sight. She’s sweaty, bloated and exhausted.

Lucky me.

‘You don’t have to worry about that because you’ll always have me,’ I tell her, cringing internally at what I have just said, but also feeling quite smug because I know that it is a lie. It won’t be long until she has nothing. Not her freedom. Not her baby. And certainly not me.

‘Be careful today,’ she tells me as she sinks down into the bed even further. ‘I need you here. We both do.’

She rubs her hands over the bump in the duvet again, and I smile.

‘I’ll be back before you know it,’ I tell her. ‘You don’t have to worry about me.’

22

LAURA

What rotten luck. I was finally about to get my chance to get out of this cottage and go with Adam into the village when I’ve been struck down by some flu bug. I feel dreadful, and the only trip I’ll be making now will be to the bathroom and back. I’m hot. I’m all bunged up. And I’m tired. But most of all, I’m frustrated.

Frustrated that I’m alone in this damn cottage again.

Adam left ten minutes ago, and while he has promised me that he will try and be quicker to return than he was last time, I’m not feeling happy about being left on my own again. I understand that he has to go into the village to check on the news, but it’s just annoying that we can’t do it from here. It would be so much easier if the TV was working because then we could just sit together on the sofa instead of him taking the risk of going out in public and me being left stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Feeling fed up, I stretch out a weary hand for the cup of cranberry juice Adam left for me on my bedside table and take a sip. I’ve drunk so much of this stuff over the last few weeks, but I haven’t got sick of it yet. I wonder if I will be able to look at it the same way when I’m no longer pregnant. Probably not.

Feeling a little refreshed, I put my cup back down and rest my hands on my bump, thinking about the tiny and precious life that I am carrying around inside me. I can’t wait to hold Samuel in my arms, but for now, I am glad that he is inside where it is safe and not out here in this crazy world where everything seems to be going wrong. I feel like as long as he is inside me then I can protect him, but the second he leaves me, anything can happen.

I know I’m feeling this way because of the dream I had last night.

It was disconcerting for many reasons, but the main one was seeing Adam and Samuel with another female. There’s only one thing scarier to me than losing my husband and my son, and that is losing them to another woman. I wonder if that deep-seated fear was somehow awoken within me last night and it manifested itself in that particular dream.

I haven’t got any particular reason to worry about losing my husband and child to another woman, but that doesn’t mean it’s not something I’ve never worried about. I’ve definitely entertained thoughts of Adam coming home one day and telling me that he is leaving me. I know I shouldn’t think like that, but it’s more of a morbid curiosity as to how I would feel to hear the man I love say that he has found somebody he likes more than me. It’s a terrifying

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