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about those beers.”

“Great. Of course,” I mumble, not taking my sights off the events happening outside of my window. June is with Elsa out by the apple tree. She’s changed into a pair of tan riding pants and her ass is perfection in them…fuck. What’s wrong with me? I’m willing myself to look away, but I can’t. June pulls an apple off the tree and feeds it to Elsa who eats it eagerly out of her hand. She pets her nose before climbing on her back.

“Whatcha looking at?” Adrian bumps into me.

“Nothing.” I rub my nose and move away from the window.

“Nothing?” Adrian chuckles as he watches what I was only looking at seconds ago. “Admit it. You were spying on your little hot wife.”

“Shut up.”

“What? There’s no shame in checking her out. Bet you wish it was you she was riding though.”

“Hardly. I rather have all my teeth pulled.”

“Thou doth protest too much.” He snickers with a shake of his head. “Like give me a break, I know there’s hostility between you two because of what happened, but I could feel the sexual tension that was burning between you.”

“You’re confusing the burning for full-fledged raging hate.”

“I don’t think I am.” He grins smugly and I snap.

“She killed my sister. I told you that. Got in a car highly under the influence and then drove into a fucking tree,” I seethe. “I hate her. Why does everyone forget that?"

"But that was five years ago, right?

"Why does that matter?"

“I'm just saying it was an accident. I know she fucked up. Big time. She had no right to be drinking and driving but don't you think she feels like shit for it? You told me she was like a sister to you, so have you ever taken time to listen to her and her side of what happened?”

"Her side? She killed my sister. Every time I see a picture of Kathleen it kills me. June promised…" My fists clench as I glance back at the window to see June has ridden off. “You wouldn’t understand. You weren’t there.”

"Okay. Okay.” He holds up his hands and flops on my bed. “I’m just saying, you've known her since you were kids and you’re acting like she did it on purpose. I'm not underestimating your pain. I couldn't imagine losing my baby sister either, and I'd be pissed too, but eventually, I’d have to forgive to move on. Especially if they were sorry. You also seem to forget that you confessed to me that you loved her for years before it all went down and that just doesn’t go away.”

“Trust me it fucking does.” I grit out. I’m regretting how often I got drunk and confessed my past to Adrian, but he seriously was the only friend I could talk to after the accident. I discontinued life and talking to everyone in Kinder Falls because I didn’t want to be reminded of what happened, so Adrian gave me his ear. He was easy to talk to because he wasn’t connected to the memories to give me any grief or pity.

“Does it? I think maybe it’s why you didn’t fight so hard into getting out of marrying her.”

“I didn’t have a fucking choice unless I wanted the house to be leveled. Wills can take years to contest and the person wanting to amend it almost always loses. We only had a week.”

“Hmm…if you say so.”

“I say so.” I slam my hand into the wall. “

“Alright, alright, but still, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be good for you to ease up on her.”

“She hooked up with someone at that party. After we hooked up. I thought we were going to finally be something after I spent years loving her,” I blurt out. It was something I hadn’t confided in him. Something I hadn’t told anyone that didn’t already know. It felt embarrassing.

“That happened the same night your sister…?”

"Yeah."

"I see.” He pauses and stares me down with his eyes squinting. I know he’s thinking about something, hard, and now I’m kicking myself for opening my big fat mouth again. “You left that out.”

"Well…it wasn’t as important,” I grumble and yank some of my clothes out of a box.

“I'd say it is. It’s why you’re mentioning it now.” He taps his fingers on his chin. “So, not only do you feel she did this unforgivable thing, which yes, the accident would be enough for your hate…but you’re telling me now, she betrayed you that night too. Wow. Okay. Well, I happen to believe you loved her before and I think that is enough to eventually, in time, move on and heal your wounds, but now, I’m not sure which wound is deeper. I don’t even think you know which one is either. I hope for your sake, man, you find out, because you don’t need this festering for the rest of your life. It’ll eventually turn to regret. I mean there has to be a reason your aunt did all this in the first place.”

 

It’s late, past midnight, as I stumble in, but I’m just glad to be back inside these four walls, even just for a little while. I drop my duffle bag at the front door and inhale the scent of home. I love my apartment and my independence, but there is nothing better than walking into Aunt Liz’s house. I feel at peace here. Coming here is what I need after months of busting my ass at work. I’ve been looking forward to this weekend because Liz will be away in Vegas with Maggie and Ms. Gandy and a couple of the other ladies from the community center. Then my little sister, who swears she doesn’t need me anymore, is away at a dance competition in Houston. That gives me time to

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