Loving Lord Egleton: A Regency Romance (Regency Matchmakers Book 3) by Laura Beers (reading list txt) 📗

“I already do,” she replied as she removed her hand from under his.

“Perhaps now you can help me with Marianne,” Martin said as he straightened in his chair.

Kate grew serious. “Whatever is wrong with Marianne?”

Sighing, Martin shared, “She has decided that she is going to write a book.”

“Good heavens,” Hannah exclaimed. “When did she decide to do this?”

“It is a recent development,” Martin revealed, “but I have no doubt that it’s another way to goad my mother.”

Kate smiled. “I would not worry on that account,” she said. “I used to do the same thing to my mother.”

“You did?” Hannah asked.

Kate nodded. “I used to threaten to run away and work at the menagerie.”

“Truly?” Edward asked in amusement.

“After we first toured the menagerie at the Tower of London, I became obsessed with the lions on display,” she shared. “I started reading all the books I could get my hands on about lions, and I was determined to care for them.”

“Does the menagerie hire women to care for their animals?” Edward inquired.

Kate shook her head. “Sadly, they do not,” she replied, “which is why I had to give up my dream of being a lion tamer.”

Hannah wiped the sides of her mouth with her white linen napkin. “That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard,” she declared. “Why would anyone wish to be a lion tamer?”

“For the adventure,” Kate said.

“I suppose my soul does not crave adventure,” Hannah remarked. “I am content with the little things in my life, such as picking out fabric for a new dress or a new hat.”

“Not everyone is lucky enough to feel as you do,” Martin stated. “I believe it is natural for people to want a respite from their life, even for a moment.”

“But to care for lions?” Hannah questioned. “That is far too dangerous.”

Martin shrugged. “Marianne has also suggested that she could run off and join the circus.”

Kate grinned. “I can just imagine Marianne at the circus,” she said. “She has no fear when it comes to riding her horse.”

“That is true,” Martin replied. “She rides just like Hannah used to.”

“I was much younger then,” Hannah stated. “I was lucky I wasn’t killed when my horse jumped the hedge.”

“Instead, you only broke your right arm, and were laid up for weeks while you recovered,” Martin reminded her.

“Father was furious with me and threatened to sell my horse,” Hannah said.

Kate interjected, “But he never did.”

“No, he didn’t,” Hannah replied, “but I never rode again after that.”

“Which is a shame,” Martin remarked. “You were an impressive rider.”

Hannah grew silent for a moment before sharing, “Father constantly tried to coax me back onto my horse. He thought it was important that I didn’t give up on riding.” Tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them back. “He would often…” Her voice trailed off as she abruptly rose. “If you will excuse me, I just need a moment.”

Without waiting for a response, Hannah walked swiftly out of the dining room and headed towards the rear of the townhouse. A footman opened the door and she stepped outside onto the veranda.

She felt the tears flowing down her cheeks and reached up to wipe them away. How she missed her parents. This was why she never spoke about them. It always involved such an adverse reaction.

Martin’s voice came from behind her. “Are you all right, Hannah?” he asked in a concerned voice.

“Please go back inside,” she pleaded.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Whyever not?”

“Because I am a gentleman, and you are a damsel in distress.”

Keeping her stiff back towards him, she replied, “I am no such thing.”

She could hear Martin’s booted steps as he walked closer to her. “I know you don’t like to talk about your parents,” he started, “but there is nothing wrong in doing so.”

“How would you know?” she asked. “Both of your parents are alive.”

“That is true, but I did lose my grandfather recently.”

“That is hardly the same thing,” she contended.

Martin huffed. “You are right, Hannah,” he declared. “You are the only person who has ever lost someone who is important to you.”

Hannah knew she was being entirely unfair at the moment, but she was too stubborn to relax her stance.

Martin came to stand in front of her. “Ever since your parents died, you hardly ever speak about them. Why is that?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Do you want to know what I think?” he asked.

“No, I do not.”

Martin grinned. “I will pretend that I didn’t hear you say that,” he said. “I believe it is too painful for you to share your memories of your parents.”

Hannah shifted her gaze away from his, not wanting to admit he was right.

“Your parents were ripped away from you by death, and it takes the heart a tremendous amount of time to let go,” Martin said. “You never had a chance to say goodbye to them, and things were left unsaid.”

Martin took a step closer to her. “Everyone goes through the process of grief at a different pace, but you must move forward, not backwards.”

Hannah brought her gaze back to meet his. “That is easier said than done,” she breathed.

“I may have oversimplified it, but I want you to know that I am here for you,” he said, placing his hand gently on her sleeve. “You are not alone in this.”

Tears filled her eyes. “I miss them,” she said. “I miss them so much.”

“I know, and a part of you always will.”

She reached up and wiped the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. “There is a hole in my heart where they used to be, and I don’t think it will ever be whole again.”

“Oh, Hannah,” Martin murmured as he pulled her into his arms. “I assure you that it will heal, but it will take time.”

“I don’t know how that is possible,” she whimpered, wrapping her arms around him. “I can’t even share a memory of them without crying.”

“It will get easier.”

Hannah laid her head against his chest and allowed herself to be