The School for Scandal - Richard Brinsley Sheridan (reading strategies book txt) š
- Author: Richard Brinsley Sheridan
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your hand, Charlesā āI believe I have suspected you wrongfully: but you mustnāt be angry with Josephā āātwas my plan!
Charles Surface
Indeed.
Sir Peter
But I acquit you. I promise you I donāt think near so ill of you as I did: what I have heard has given me great satisfaction.
Charles Surface
Egad, then, ātwas lucky you didnāt hear any more. Wasnāt it, Joseph? Aside to Joseph.
Sir Peter
Ah! you would have retorted on him.
Charles Surface
Ah, ay, that was a joke.
Sir Peter
Yes, yes, I know his honour too well.
Charles Surface
But you might as well have suspected him as me in this matter, for all that. Mightnāt he, Joseph? Aside to Joseph.
Sir Peter
Well, well, I believe you.
Joseph Surface
Would they were both out of the room! Aside.
Sir Peter
And in future, perhaps we may not be such strangers.
Reenter Servant, and whispers Joseph Surface.
Servant
Lady Sneerwell is below, and says she will come up.
Joseph Surface
Lady Sneerwell! Gadās life! she must not come here.
Exit Servant.
Gentlemen, I beg pardonā āI must wait on you downstairs: here is a person come on particular business.
Charles Surface
Well, you can see him in another room. Sir Peter and I have not met a long time, and I have something to say to him.
Joseph Surface
Aside. They must not be left together. ā Aloud. Iāll send this man away, and return directly. ā Aside to Sir Peter. Sir Peter, not a word of the French milliner.
Sir Peter
Aside to Joseph Surface. I! not for the world!ā ā
Exit Joseph Surface.
Ah, Charles, if you associated more with your brother, one might indeed hope for your reformation. He is a man of sentiment. ā Well, there is nothing in the world so noble as a man of sentiment.
Charles Surface
Pshaw! he is too moral by half; and so apprehensive of his good name, as he calls it, that I suppose he would as soon let a priest into his house as a girl.
Sir Peter
No, noā ācome, comeā āyou wrong him. No, no! Joseph is no rake, but he is no such saint either in that respect. ā Aside. I have a great mind to tell himā āwe should have such a laugh at Joseph.
Charles Surface
Oh, hang him! heās a very anchorite, a young hermit.
Sir Peter
Harkāeeā āyou must not abuse him; he may chance to hear of it again, I promise you.
Charles Surface
Why, you wonāt tell him?
Sir Peter
Noā ābutā āthis way. ā Aside. Egad, Iāll tell him. ā Aloud. Harkāeeā āhave you a mind to have a good laugh at Joseph?
Charles Surface
I should like it of all things.
Sir Peter
Then, iā faith, we will!ā āIāll be quit with him for discovering me. ā He had a girl with him when I called. Whispers.
Charles Surface
What! Joseph? you jest.
Sir Peter
Hush!ā āa little French millinerā āand the best of the jest isā āshe is in the room now.
Charles Surface
The devil she is!
Sir Peter
Hush! I tell you. Points to the screen.
Charles Surface
Behind the screen! āSlife, letās unveil her!
Sir Peter
No, noā āheās coming:ā āyou shanāt indeed!
Charles Surface
Oh, egad, weāll have a peep at the little milliner!
Sir Peter
Not for the world!ā āJoseph will never forgive me.
Charles Surface
Iāll stand by youā ā
Sir Peter
Odds, here he is!
Reenter Joseph Surface just as Charles Surface throws down the screen.22
Charles Surface
Lady Teazle, by all thatās wonderful.
Sir Peter
Lady Teazle, by all thatās damnable!23
Charles Surface
Sir Peter, this is one of the smartest French milliners I ever saw. Egad, you seem all to have been diverting yourselves here at hide and seek, and I donāt see who is out of the secret. Shall I beg your ladyship to inform me? Not a word!ā āBrother, will you be pleased to explain this matter? What! is Morality dumb too?ā āSir Peter, though I found you in the dark, perhaps you are not so now! All mute!ā āWellā āthough I can make nothing of the affair, I suppose you perfectly understand one another; so I will leave you to yourselves. ā Going. Brother, Iām sorry to find you have given that worthy man grounds for so much uneasiness. ā Sir Peter! thereās nothing in the world so noble as a man of sentiment! They stand for some time looking at each other.
Exit Charles.
Joseph Surface
Sir Peterā ānotwithstandingā āI confessā āthat appearances are against meā āif you will afford me your patienceā āI make no doubtā ābut I shall explain everything to your satisfaction.
Sir Peter
If you please, sir.
Joseph Surface
The fact is, sir, that Lady Teazle, knowing my pretensions to your ward Mariaā āI say sir, Lady Teazle, being apprehensive of the jealousy of your temperā āand knowing my friendship to the familyā āshe, sir, I sayā ācalled hereā āin order thatā āI might explain these pretensionsā ābut on your comingā ābeing apprehensiveā āas I saidā āof your jealousyā āshe withdrewā āand this, you may depend on it, is the whole truth of the matter.
Sir Peter
A very clear account, upon my word; and I dare swear the lady will vouch for every article of it.
Lady Teazle
For not one word of it, Sir Peter!
Sir Peter
How! donāt you think it worth while to agree in the lie?
Lady Teazle
There is not one syllable of truth in what that gentleman has told you.
Sir Peter
I believe you, upon my soul, maāam!
Joseph Surface
Aside to Lady Teazle. āSdeath, madam, will you betray me?
Lady Teazle
Good Mr. Hypocrite, by your leave, Iāll speak for myself.
Sir Peter
Ay, let her alone, sir; youāll find sheāll make out a better story than you, without prompting.
Lady Teazle
Hear me, Sir Peter!ā āI came here on no matter relating to your ward, and even ignorant of this gentlemanās pretensions to her. But I came, seduced by his insidious arguments, at least to listen to his pretended passion, if not to sacrifice your honour to his baseness.
Sir Peter
Now, I believe, the truth is coming, indeed!
Joseph Surface
The womanās mad.
Lady Teazle
No, sir; she has recovered her senses,
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