Young Love Dies Hard: The Young Brothers, Book 1 by Nikki Lane (old books to read txt) 📗

still, my heart drumming in my chest. I should have pulled away, stood up from the couch, made it glaringly obvious that we couldn’t do what I thought we were about to. But my body wouldn’t move. My heart was in control. And my brain could do nothing to pull me out of this hypnotic state.

Jacob leaned in at a deliberate pace. I licked my lips, not to be seductive or sexy, but because I was so nervous and they’d gone dry.

His eyes flickered from my mouth and then back to my eyes. It wasn’t too late. I could still stop this. It wasn’t fair to Jacob. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned in a little closer.

Don’t let it happen. You’ll never be able to come back from it.

He set his lips on mine. I closed my eyes and let my hand mold against the soft felt of his beard. I panicked for a few seconds, fearing that he would push me away and wipe off the residue from my mouth because I tasted like damaged goods.

But he didn’t. He kissed me harder. I opened my mouth and his tongue made a slow crawl around mine. I felt the warmth of his breath against my face as he exhaled, pressing deeper into the kiss. Every thought in my head was silenced. I wrapped my other hand around his neck, and he gently moved with me as I lay back on the couch.

His body hovered over me while his mouth made its way down my neck. My skin prickled with goosebumps, and a rush of adrenaline shot through my body. I brushed my hand through his hair and held the nape of his neck as he kissed me again. He ran a hand over the material of my shirt, applying some pressure over my breast. And then it hit me like a hammer over the head. My brain had managed to wrangle my fluttering heart.

“Jacob, wait.” I put two hands on his chest and nudged him back. “You don’t want to do this.”

“What?” he panted. His eyebrows pulled together. “Of course I do.”

And if the bulge in his pants was any indication, he wasn’t lying. But I couldn’t let him go through with this. At least not with me.

I sat up and readjusted the strap of my shirt.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“I just…don’t want to ruin things between us.”

“Ruin it how?”

“By sleeping together. I mean, if that’s what you wanted to do.”

His eyes did a frantic search over my face. “Of course, it crossed my mind. But it doesn’t have to be tonight.” He pushed the hair away from my forehead.

I practically melted into the couch, unable to meet his eyes.

“I just don’t think any of this is a good idea.”

“Oh.” He retracted his hand and pulled his body away from mine. He sat back down on the couch, leaving a big space between us. “Okay.”

I sat up, too. “Jacob, it’s not what —”

He stood up. “It’s fine, Maeve. You don’t have to explain.” The frown on his face told me otherwise.

I got up and followed him to the kitchen. “You’re my best friend, Jacob. And I don’t want to taint our relationship with meaningless sex.”

“Meaningless?” He closed the refrigerator door and stared at me. “Is that what it is to you?”

That’s the only kind I knew. The physical act of sex summed up its definition for me — love and devotion were not required. But I couldn’t say that out loud. There was no way. I was too ashamed to even think it.

So, all he got from me was silence — the only response I could muster.

He scoffed and walked right past me, his unbuttoned jeans resting low on his hips. I really needed to get my head checked.

“You know what? You’re right.” He clicked off the TV and left me standing in the kitchen in the dark. “I’m sorry.” He flashed me a smile. But I knew it wasn’t genuine. “I’m going to bed.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. And maybe it was better that way.

Chapter Ten

It was a shitty day for walking, but I didn’t have much of a choice. I declined Jacob’s invitation to drive with him to Aunt Meg and Uncle Jim’s. He’d taken my car early that afternoon to help Uncle Jim with some of the animals and mentioned that he may be staying the night. Mom was still there, and that was a whole plate of shit I wasn’t in the mood to eat.

Although I’d gotten use to his company at the apartment, I was kind of looking forward to a night alone. Over the last couple weeks, the subtle tension from our make-out session on the couch put a nice little wedge between us. Jacob tried to act like nothing was wrong. But I could sense it. Something was off.

I threw the hood from my jacket over my head and walked through the cold rain to the address written on the crumpled flyer in my pocket. I quickened my pace as it rained a little harder, hoping the contents in my gym bag didn’t get soaked. I waited on the corner for the light to change so I could cross the street. My teeth chattered, and my toes were starting to numb. Not the best idea to be cold and wet during flu season, but I didn’t trust that I could make it to my destination on time if I took the bus.

A car stopped at the red light and the window rolled down.

“Maeve,” Rich called.

I took a few steps closer to the car and ducked my head to look through the window. The car looked brand-new. Then again, Rich took such good care of his material possessions that you wouldn’t be able to guess the true age of anything he owned.

He leaned over the armrest. “What the hell are you doing walking in the rain? Where’s your car?”

I crossed my arms. “Loaned