Four-Letter Words by Evans, Gabrielle (top 10 books of all time .txt) 📗

He knew the feeling well. If he didn’t start making some changes, he was going to learn firsthand just how it felt to lose the most important person in his life. “I hope you never have to find out.”

Then he ducked out of the room before his brother could detain him again. He had a mate to find, and a lot of changes to make if he ever wanted to secure his happy-ever-after.

* * * *

Zasha didn’t know why Thane had gotten all butt-hurt about him joining the witch hunt, and he really wasn’t looking forward to another argument. Every disagreement inevitably led to more of those horrible hallucinations, and if something didn’t start making sense soon, Zasha was going to lose his ever-loving mind.

No, he didn’t like the idea of Thane marching into a volatile situation, especially not one where the odds were stacked against him. When he’d found out that Leader Tuesday was of the same mind, they’d pulled Kieran aside, and the three of them had decided the Braddock brothers would accept their help whether they liked it or not.

Naturally, Zasha’s mate was the only one who’d made a big deal about it, and he couldn’t understand why. If the hurried footsteps marching in his direction were any indication, however, he was about to get his answers.

Easing down onto the cushions of the sofa, he began mentally preparing himself for the explosion. When the door to their suite burst open, he didn’t move, didn’t react in any way, but on the inside, he was vibrating with nervous energy.

So when Thane practically ran to him and dropped to his knees, Zasha wasn’t sure what to make of the behavior. Long arms surrounded his waist as Thane embraced him, pressing his face into Zasha’s stomach while he shook from head to toe.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. I didn’t mean to treat you like the old you and not the new you, but it’s hard when I just missed you so much. I get it now, though. I understand I can still love you like the old you, but in a new way for the new you.”

All Zasha could do was blink stupidly. He’d understood the apology part, and he was pretty sure Thane felt he was wrong about something. After that, things had kind of descended into convoluted rambling. Hell, he would have understood just as much if Thane had been speaking in Aramaic.

“Thane, you’re not making any sense, and to be honest, you’re scaring me a little. Slow down and say that first part again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I got that. Keep going. Why are you sorry?”

“I was wrong,” Thane mumbled as he pushed closer. “I was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and kept coming up with four.”

Well, they were getting closer. At least Zasha mostly understood that last analogy. “I’m going to go out on a limb here. Are you trying to say that you’ve been a stubborn, uncompromising asshole?”

Thane nodded quickly. “Yeah, that one.”

“Can I ask what brought on this sudden revelation?”

Thane sounded sincere, but his turnabout in attitude was so abrupt Zasha was reluctant to get his hopes up that things were finally beginning to sway in the right direction for them. Not twenty minutes had passed since their last disagreement, and he couldn’t fathom that anything so extraordinary had happened in that short amount of time.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Thane murmured as he inched lower, rubbing his cheek over Zasha’s trapped cock. “I think I always knew I was screwing up, but I wanted everything to go back to the way it was so much that I deluded myself into believing it would.” Rolling his head to the side, he peeked up at Zasha through his long, dark lashes. “I can’t hold on to the past anymore if I want to start building a future with the man I love.”

There was that damned L word again. He was caught off guard every time Thane said it, and the guy had been using it with increasing frequency during the last few days. Each time he uttered the simple statement, Zasha felt his muscles tense and his eyes tighten at the corners. The reaction was involuntary, and while he didn’t necessarily believe in the confines of love, he wasn’t trying to go out of his way to hurt Thane.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I care about you. I’m committed to making this relationship work, and you’ll never find anyone more loyal.” Keeping quiet on the subject was no longer an option, and if he truly wanted to spare Thane any future heartbreak, he had to be honest, had to lay all his cards on the table right then. “If you say we shared a life together before, I believe you, but I don’t remember it. I do think it’s safe to say that I’m not the same person you remember, though.”

Gods, the whole mess was one big, confusing clusterfuck. At that point, there was nothing he could say that wouldn’t make him sound like the uncompromising asshole he’d just accused his partner of being. On the other hand, he couldn’t let things stand as they were. It would be cruel to give Thane false hope that one day Zasha might miraculously fall into an emotion he didn’t comprehend.

“You do remember it,” Thane argued, but his tone was soft and gentle like he was leading a spooked horse to the watering trough. “You’re not going crazy, Zash. These hallucinations you think you’re having are just memories.”

They sure as hell didn’t feel like memories, and with each new episode, his grasp on reality slipped another notch on the proverbial rope. It wasn’t like a dream where he was completely immersed in the fantasy, either. His hallucinations melded into everyday life, and more times than not, he wouldn’t realize what had happened until afterwards.

Sometimes, he’d answer one of Thane’s questions, only to find that his mate wasn’t in the