Dawn Endeavor 1: Fallon's Flame by Marie Harte (best love novels of all time TXT) 📗

I thought Jesse should show you before we left, but Jules wants you to get used to your place—ah, to try to get used to us first. All these changes at once can be overwhelming.”

Her place. Every time she heard that phrase, she wanted to hit someone. I haven't worked my ass off my entire life to be subservient to some man. “But I'm not one of you. I don't belong.” As much as I might want to. If Jesse would listen to me instead of demanding I accept things, we might come to an understanding.

He now seemed to think they were an item. Sure, the hot sex meant more to her than just a physical pleasure, but come on. She barely knew him. One whole week of mission talk and some kinky sex and he was spouting about forever? Every time she heard the f word she panicked, because instinct kept telling her she'd never shake free of him. That she shouldn't want to.

She'd been around enough Mr. Wrongs to be cautious. She'd earned that right. Now maybe if Jesse lightened up and acted like a gentleman instead of an autocratic Neanderthal, they might continue a relationship when this was over.

Mine, always mine.

She shifted in the lounge chair, aware her skin didn't feel too hot, despite the intense sun.

Coconut-scented lotion brought her attention to the bottle beside her.

“I didn't miss any spots, did I?” she asked.

Kisho rolled his eyes. “No. But if you want me to do your back again so you can flip over, I will.”

Not a hint of lust in his voice.

“Why don't you have a boyfriend, Kisho?”

He stilled. “What do you mean?”

“You're handsome, sexy, intelligent, and sensitive. Is it because you're Circ?” she whispered, not wanting anyone to overhear the c word.

He inwardly seethed with discomfort, and she placed a hand on his arm, wishing him calm.

To her surprise, he relaxed.

“How did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“You pulled my anxiety.” Calm surprise. “I don't like to talk about my personal life, and you sensed it. Then I suddenly felt at ease.”

“I don't know.”

He stared at her. “You still can't feel Fallon, though, can you?”

“Sometimes.” Like when he wants to fuck me, but rarely about anything meaningful. “He's been sending me thoughts.” Or at least he had been before she'd told him to butt out of her mind.

He hadn't liked that, and he let her know in no uncertain terms. “You still didn't answer my question.”

Kisho turned his head and closed his eyes. “I keep my personal life private.”

“The guys don't care. They hold you in deepest respect. And I think Gunnar actually likes you.”

His lips quirked. “He pretends not to like anyone. He's a big fake. Haven't you seen him watching Ava?”

“Yes, actually.” And maybe the woman watched him back, which would explain why she'd become so cold to Olivia the past few days. Olivia blushed, wondering how the hell Ava could know what they'd done that one night. “My point, which you keep avoiding, is that no one on the team would care. I mean, considering what you all do anyway, how could they?”

“They engage in homosexuality because they have to. It's programmed.”

“But that's the way it is anyway, isn't it?”

He turned to her, surprised. “Ah, I'm not sure.”

His uncertainty softened her, making her like him even more. Kisho Hayashi had the soul of a poet, Ava had said, and she was right. He listened, never offered advice unless asked, and contained his emotions behind a wall of control. But she could feel the loneliness inside him, and it bothered her.

He continued. “But I do know we can only find peace with others like us. Without a mate, we experience severe sexual hungers. Often in the past the hungers worsened into mental instability. No one is actually sure why, but it seems that finding someone to alleviate the need to procreate actually eases the mental burdens that have turned so many of us rogue.”

“What's a rogue?” She's heard Jules use the term while talking to Jesse, but as soon as he'd seen her approach, he'd clammed up.

“I told them we should tell you everything, but no one listens to me.” Kisho frowned and turned on his side to face her. “When we were first made, the first batch had problems. You remember the indictments on General Kohl and Senator Kuntz?” She nodded. “Supposedly they covered up a string of murders associated with an experimental program—Project Dawn.”

“Right. The press had a field day with tales of super soldiers and science gone screwy, but they were mostly right.”

Olivia smacked the arm of her lounge chair. “I knew it. The whole story was too bizarre to be fictional. Of course, now after meeting you guys, it makes more sense.”

“You don't know the half of it. My team spent a year in an underground laboratory headed by an evil genius. A real mad scientist.” Kisho frowned. “A lot of good men died there, less than human when they went.” He shook off the memory. “None of that made the papers. Claws and fangs are the tip of the iceberg.”

Her mouth dried. “Why are you telling me this?” The thought of her possibly going through such a transformation scared her to death. Olivia prized control. She chose what jobs she worked. She dated who she wanted, when she wanted. Even when the men she saw turned out to be less than ideal, she broke off the relationships and moved on.

Becoming Circ would change all that. Jesse claimed mating heats forced them into sexual orgies, or they'd go insane. God, Olivia wasn't an orgy woman! Though she'd fantasized a time or two, she'd never thought to engage in a ménage. And then she'd slept with not only Jesse, but Jules and Gunnar too.

But instead of the dismay she should have felt about their night together, she rumbled deep in her chest, a subtle murmur of satisfaction. A part of Olivia felt she deserved such treatment, an odd form