Honor Bound by Joey Hill (good novels to read in english TXT) 📗

“You don’t dance.”

“I do now.” He held out his hand.

This she had to see. She slipped her hand in his and he led her to the floor. Something slow was playing, a romantic song that filled her heart with longing, especially when Clay pulled her close, laid his palm against her back and started moving her to the strains of the music.

It didn’t take her long to realize he’d lied to her.

“You can dance.”

He shrugged. “Maybe a little.”

“You lied.”

“It’s not my favorite thing to do. So I just say that I can’t.”

“And you’re making the ultimate sacrifice for me because . . . ?”

“Because I want to hold you. Because I miss you.”

Her stomach clenched. “You can have sex with anybody, Clay.”

“I don’t want to have sex with anyone else anymore, Ella. I want to have sex with you.

Just you. Only you. Forever and ever. For as long as we both shall live.”

Her heart stuttered. “What?”

“I love you.”

She stumbled a step and Clay’s firm grip held her upright. She knew she gaped at him, at a loss for words.

“I know this isn’t what you want, that you wanted no strings, someone to give you a good time in Hawaii and nothing else. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I’m wound around you tight, just like this thing you’re wearing.” He tugged on the strings of her corset. “I want strings, Ella. I want to be tied to you.”

Now she really couldn’t breathe. “Take me out of here.”

He gave a sharp nod, swept by the table so she could grab her purse, and led her out a side door where his car was parked. She slid into the passenger side, her mind awhirl in everything he’d said.

He loved her. He’d damn near proposed to her. Right there on the dance floor.

Hadn’t he?

“Where do you want to go?”

“My house.”

They drove in silence. Ella spent the entire time staring down at her tightly clasped hands, more unsure of herself and her feelings than ever before. When they got to her house she fumbled in her purse for her keys and ended up having to hand them over to Clay. He opened her door and she stepped in, turned on the lamp next to the door, bathing the room in soft light. She laid her purse down and he helped her out of her coat.

“Would you like something to drink?”

He shook his head. “No. I want you to talk to me.”

She moved into the living room, sat on the sofa. Clay followed and picked up her hands.

“Your hands are cold. You’re pale. I never thought a declaration of love would make a woman sick.”

She managed a laugh. “I’m not sick. Just . . . shocked, I guess. Here I thought I’d be the one doing all the talking and you beat me to the punch.”

His brow furrowed. “I don’t understand.”

She half turned to face him. “Ever since James died I’ve poured myself into work, into showing everyone how strong I was, how I was able to cope and take care of myself. But the one thing I wouldn’t allow was the possibility of loving anyone ever again. Because losing him hurt me so much, Clay.”

“I know.”

“And then came you. And Hawaii. Probably even before that, actually, because being around you was so easy, so natural. And Hawaii proved that. I thought I could keep it physical and fun and be done with it. But I couldn’t. Because you had already been in my heart even before we had that week together, only I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know it until after I set down those rules about no strings. I realized after Hawaii that I was in love with you.”

He smiled.

“And it thrilled me and it scared me. It mostly scared me.”

He nodded. “I know that feeling.”

“I love you, Clay. I loved you even before Hawaii. You’ve been there for me since James died. You were my friend before you were my lover, and that’s more important to me than anything. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you. And I think I was afraid most of all of losing you.”

He rubbed her hands. “I’m not going anywhere, Ella.”

“I know. At least I think I know. But I’m still afraid of losing you. Either you leaving or not really wanting what I want. Or of you dying.”

He gave her a slight smile. “There are no guarantees. You know that. I won’t sit here and promise you I’ll live forever. I can’t. But I can promise you that I’ll love you for as long as I live. For as long as that is.”

And that would have to be good enough. Because he was right. He couldn’t guarantee forty years, or fifty years, or even ten years. None of them knew how long they had. She of all people knew you had to take each moment and live it as if there would be no tomorrow. “I’ve been afraid to live. And I’ve missed out on so much. I don’t want to miss out anymore. I want to love you. I want you to love me.”

His eyes were as clear as the ocean. She’d always loved his eyes. Now even more so, because she saw what he felt for her.

“I do love you, Ella. I promise to always love you. It’s all I can give you.”

“It’s enough. God, it’s more than enough.” She moved onto his lap and wrapped her hands around his face. She pressed her lips to his, sighing against his mouth. It felt so good to touch him again.

Clay curled his arms around her and leaned back into the couch to bring her closer against him. She loved feeling his strength pressed against her, his heart beating against her arm as he bent down to deepen his kiss.

She’d never tire of him kissing her, of the sensation of being lost in his taste, the way his mouth moved over hers with deliberate intent, as if