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about our smiles, our laughter, the way we dress, the colors we wear, and being radiant. There is something about this quality that men find rejuvenating and healing. Youthful women bring out chivalrous qualities in men. They feel more masculine because it brings out their protective nature.

Women often ask why men seem to prefer younger women. Not truly understanding men leads some women to pursue misguided solutions to this perceived problem. They invest heavily in developing and maintaining a youthful appearance while failing to put any thought into keeping a youthful attitude. In that event, they may succeed in getting temporary attention, but the inner qualities don’t match what’s advertised on the outside. Good men walk away confused and disappointed when they encounter these women. False advertising is not a good strategy to attract a quality man. We can more easily find and keep the men of our dreams by developing attitudes of genuine youthfulness.

“But if you are truly happy inside, then age brings with it a maturity, a depth, and a power that only magnifies our radiance.”

– David Deida, Author of Intimate Communion

Traits of Youthful Attitudes:

She has a childlike curiosity and wonder.

She’s easily fascinated.

She notices and appreciates little things.

She’s vivacious and excited about life.

She’s carefree and open to life.

She has an easy laugh.

She’s natural and not overly made up.

She can still wear ponytails, neck scarves, and pleats.

She’s not afraid to wear flowers, ribbons, or butterflies in her hair.

“When a woman wears a flower in her hair, it shows men she has the courage to be girlish. Doing this can take ten years off her age.”

– Roberto, Palo Alto, California

Men Love Our Lightheartedness

Lightheartedness is an important attribute of youthfulness. Laughter and play reduce excess release of cortisol, a stress-related hormone that ages us. If we want to stay young longer, we owe it to ourselves to develop this quality in ourselves. Staying lighthearted is also a great antidote to doing masculine work or juggling daily pressures that might otherwise accumulate stress in our bodies.

The best way for us to be more lighthearted is to reconnect with our inner “little girl.” You know, the one that’s been neglected for a very long time. Try observing little girls at play, or observe other women who have mastered this energy. When we stop being lighthearted, something inside us dies, and people soon start perceiving us as being “old.”

To summarize, as we have become increasingly masculine, these feminine attitudes are often neglected aspects of our personality. Paying attention to and practicing the attitudes in this chapter will help us make more informed choices and attract higher quality men into our lives.

Recap

Inner beauty multiplies our outer beauty.

Classiness is more than appearance; it’s an attitude.

A happy woman makes a man feel happy.

Men value our kindness and compassion.

Be authentic by being the real you.

Have the courage to be vulnerable.

Be receptive to men’s compliments, acts of service, and gifts.

Stop resisting and allow more possibilities in your life.

Be approachable to your man or to a new man if you’re single.

Show admiration to the man in your life.

To be truly happy, acquire an attitude of gratitude.

Be youthful and lighthearted at any age.

Explorations and Journaling

Do you focus more on your inner beauty or your outer beauty? Explain.

In what additional ways do you (or could you) work on your inner beauty?

Which inner quality is the biggest challenge for you? Why?

On a scale of 1–10, how happy are you? Be honest with yourself. What do you believe would make you happier?

Are you a news junkie? Try shutting off the news and negative TV for a week, and at the end of the week, record how you feel.

Do you read inspirational books or watch uplifting movies? List ten or more new inspiring books or movies you will read or watch in the next year.

Do you have toxic friends or supportive friends or both? Would you be willing to let go of friends who drain your energy? Why or why not?

On a scale of 1–10, how authentic would you say you are? In what ways could you be more authentic? List them.

Are you good at receiving compliments from men? If not, in what ways could you be more receptive?

Do you allow men to do nice things for you? If not, why not? If so, how does it make you feel?

How often do you smile at men? Always, often, never? If never, what stops you?

What are some ways you can adopt a more youthful attitude?

Do you eat healthy, wholesome foods that keep you looking younger? If not, explore your nearest health food store or educate yourself on the topic of healthful foods.

Do you focus on the good in everything and everyone? If not, what are some attitudes you could work on?

Are you able to laugh easily with men? If not, what holds you back?

Who is the most lighthearted, youthful woman you know? How do you feel when you’re around her?

What traits of hers would you like to develop more of in yourself?

In what areas do you struggle most about being vulnerable with men?

Do you gossip? Even a little bit? Try to stop gossiping for a day or a week and journal about the experience.

Chapter 8

Feminine Looks Men Love

“Why do women want to dress like men when they’re fortunate enough to be women?”

–Tasha Tudor

Men Love It When We Showcase Our Femininity

Due to their naturally visual nature, men notice our outer beauty first before discovering our inner qualities. So while the inner qualities are more important than the outer appeal, if we don’t pay attention to our looks, men may not get the chance to discover our inner beauty. This does not mean men are shallow. Their biology is in charge here. In fact, science has discovered there are legitimate survival advantages to the characteristics we consider “beautiful.” For example, symmetrical facial features correlate with a stronger immune system, and a classically feminine body shape correlates with better reproductive capability. Undoubtedly there are other correlations we don’t yet know about.

Nature designed

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