The Gender Lie (The Gender Game #3) by Bella Forrest (ebook reader for laptop TXT) 📗

and hijacked my brain. I watched myself cross over the wet floor. I felt my hand curl into a fist.

And then suddenly Owen was staggering back, clutching his jaw where I had punched him. My fist throbbed, and I shook it out, glaring at him.

“How could you?” I hissed, flexing my hand. Tears had escaped from my eyes, falling in hot trails down my cheeks and throat.

Owen stared at me, his expression infused with regret and pain. It wasn’t enough—not by far.

“HOW COULD YOU?!” I bellowed, taking a step forward and raising a fist.

He flinched back, holding both his hands up. “I’m sorry!” he said, and I froze, my hands shaking. I clenched my teeth together, torn between hitting him again and backing off. He slowly lowered his hands, and I could see tears forming in his eyes too.

Frustrated by his acquiescence, I lowered my fist and stalked backward. I began to pace, trying to calm the anger pulsing in my heart. I took a quick breath in, followed by a long slow breath out. Then another. And then another.

It took several minutes for me to find a certain level of calmness. During that time, I tried moving past my initial question to find a more productive line of inquiry that would help me understand why they had done this.

Once I was ready, I turned back to Owen, who was standing where I had left him, his arms wrapped around himself. I had seen many faces of Owen since I had met him, but this was the first time I had seen him ashamed.

“Okay. Tell me what happened,” I said, not bothering to keep the hard edge out of my voice.

“Solomon must have thought he had no choice. He had almost a kilometer to run while carrying you and your gear. So… he took the pill.”

“What did it enhance?” I asked.

“His strength.”

I nodded slowly, furrowing my brows. “That would explain his anger.”

It was Owen’s turn to nod. “Yeah. Desmond gave them to us before the mission. I swear, Violet, I didn’t know she was going to hand them out. Hell, I didn’t even know she had been experimenting with the pill. She warned us that the side effects for us would be more pronounced than they were for the boys. They were given incremental doses over time—Solomon got a massive dose all at once.” I shot him another hard, flat look, and he took a slow step back, away from me. “She told us not to take them unless it was a clear emergency.”

I shook my head, as if trying to clear it from a punch. “Those pills should have never been handed out in the first place!” I said, my nostrils flaring. “Desmond said she would destroy them. She clearly lied.”

Owen’s face fell. “No. It’s not like that, Violet. Desmond… she’s going to be devastated by this. She loves Solomon—we all do. Nobody wanted this to happen. But if she didn’t destroy them, then she had her reasons.”

I fell quiet, swallowing hard. “It’s my fault,” I said after a beat. Owen moved forward, his face reflecting his refusal of my statement. I held up a hand. “It’s Desmond’s fault too, for handing them out, but I’m not devoid of blame. I… I was certain you had left the laser behind.”

“Of course it wasn’t your fault, Violet. We lost communication, and… well… you were doing what you thought you had to. I know that if I, or Solomon, or anyone else were in your shoes, we would have done the same. How could we give up on a cure for the person we love? The answer is: We can’t. Neither could you.”

I moved back to the stairs and sat down. “What are we going to tell Meera?” I asked quietly, thinking of Solomon’s mother.

Owen came to sit next to me. “She knew the risks of the mission. And with a little luck… who knows? Maybe the effects are just temporary. Hopefully, he won’t have to be like this for long.”

I heaved a sigh, my eyes finally drying up. “We can’t take him out of the city, can we?”

Owen shook his head, his expression regretful. “No. We can’t. But Thomas has promised that he will look after him while we’re gone. And we’ll hopefully be able to spare one of the scientists to come and examine him. Solomon will be all right until then, okay? You just have to give it some time and patience.”

I laughed bitterly. “Time and patience? I’m not exactly the patient type.”

Owen’s hand settled on my knee and I looked up at him. The two of us were sitting with our faces inches apart. It should have made the situation feel more intimate in some way. And yet it didn’t, and Owen didn’t make any inappropriate move one way or the other.

“You were patient for two weeks,” he said, “waiting for this mission.”

I laughed again, the sound brittle in my ears. “You have no idea,” I replied, rubbing my temples. “You have no idea—I would’ve done anything, been nice to anyone, to get what I needed for Viggo. And while I don’t think I would have abandoned you to die… I never trusted you enough to get the job done. I’m the reason Solomon felt he needed to take the steps he did. If I had just trusted you...”

My words hung in the air for several moments before Owen replied with a sigh, “I-I can understand, although I can’t say I like it. But… you’re doing the best you can, considering the circumstances. And, despite what happened to Solomon and Amber, we got what we came here to get. You have hope now, a very real hope, that you can touch. And maybe with what happened here… well, as dark as this is to say, maybe now you can learn to trust us.”

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead, and I found myself leaning a shoulder against his. Owen wrapped his arms around me