Must Love Cowboys: This steamy and heart-warming cowboy rom-com is a must-read! (Once Upon A Time In by Carly Bloom (ereader for textbooks .txt) 📗

“Let’s hope he’s not drunk. Also, did you know you’re like a walking, talking Wikipedia?”

It might have been mentioned once or twice, but Alice couldn’t help it. Spouting facts had been her solution to shyness as a child, and it had become a habit. She was curious by nature, and as a librarian, she had ample access to all kinds of interesting and uninteresting facts about everything.

Facts were facts. Feelings were . . . messy. Why did people always want to talk about them?

Carmen checked her phone. “God. It’s nearly two o’clock. And I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Jessica will be off on her honeymoon, and half the restaurant staff is going to call in sick with wedding hangovers.”

“Maybe you can call in sick with a wedding hangover, too?”

Carmen looked at the ceiling. “Nope. How long do you think someone can go with a numb penis?”

“Probably pretty long.” Alice picked up her stained dress and slipped it over her camisole and undies. “I’m going up there.”

Carmen got out of bed. “Up where?”

“We’re in room 118. They must be in 218. I’m going to let them know they’re keeping everyone awake.”

The ceiling fan began rocking faster, and the woman upstairs moaned with more urgency. Carmen raised an eyebrow. “Hold on. Maybe they’re about done.”

Alice stared into Carmen’s bloodshot eyes, and they both held their breath.

There was a long, piercing scream . . .

“Okay. Now he really has killed her,” Carmen said. “Call nine-one-one.”

Alice put a finger to her lips, and then . . . Silence. Beautiful, sweet silence.

Carmen started a slow clap. “Bravo!” she shouted at the ceiling.

Alice started to remove her dress. “Whew! I think he’s finally spent.”

Upstairs, a bed squeaked loudly. Voices murmured. And then . . .

The banging started.

“Oh my God,” Carmen said. “I think they’ve just changed positions. Maybe they’ve gone doggie.”

“It’s unlikely she’ll achieve another orgasm that way,” Alice said. “Fewer than nine percent of women report being able to do so.”

Carmen just stared at her. “I think I did once.”

“You’re drunk,” Alice said. “Get back in bed.”

“But—”

Alice opened the door. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

She climbed the stairs at the end of the hall and marched directly to room 218. Then she knocked and waited while tapping her bare foot, because dang it, she’d forgotten to put on shoes. Also, things were super quiet. Maybe they were done—

A bare chest suddenly opened the door. At least that’s how it seemed. There were probably other body parts as well—a head and legs, for example. But she only noticed the chest, which was muscular, naked, and taking up the entire doorway. She and the chest were eyeball-to-nipple, which was awkward, yet somehow fascinating, and it took a bit of effort to drag her gaze higher, where it landed on a pair of bright blue eyes.

An irritating tingle sparked at the base of her spine and worked its way up to her mouth, where it came out as “Oh. It’s you.”

The source of the ruckus was Beau Montgomery. Not surprising.

Beau raised his eyebrows and ran a hand through his tousled sandy-blond hair. “Are you lost, Allie Cat?”

A lot of people couldn’t tell Beau from his twin brother, Bryce. But Alice could. For one thing, nobody but Beau used that childish nickname for her. For another, Bryce wouldn’t be inconsiderate enough to keep everyone awake with noisy, obnoxious sex. Also, Beau’s face was thinner. And his chin cleft was just a tad deeper.

“Of course I’m not lost.”

“Then might I ask why you’re knocking on my door in the middle of the night?” His eyes drifted lazily up and down her red-stained dress. “And did you kill somebody?”

His gaze warmed her skin, made her head foggy, and . . . She’d come up here on a mission. “I was just about to ask you the same thing.”

Beau raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”

“Did you know there is a noise ordinance in Big Verde after ten o’clock?”

Beau rubbed his chin. “No, I don’t think I was aware of that.”

Alice rose on her toes and tried to peek over his shoulder. Unfortunately, he was too dang big, and she couldn’t see who else was in the room. “You and your lady friend are keeping the entire hotel up,” she whispered fiercely.

“Me and my—” Beau’s eyebrows furrowed. Then they rose, touching a lock of hair on his forehead. Was it possible he was embarrassed? Or at least slightly chagrined? She took a step back as he moved into the hall, pulling the door shut behind him. He obviously didn’t want her to know who was in there. And that was fine. Who cared? But Beau had a reputation for being a love ’em and leave ’em kind of guy, and she hoped that whoever was in his bed knew it.

Of course the woman knew it. That’s how reputations worked.

Beau leaned against the doorframe with a grin. A myriad of laugh lines—another clue to distinguish him from his brother—appeared at the corners of his eyes. “Isn’t there an ordinance against quoting ordinances after midnight?”

The answer to that was a solid no, but Beau was probably trying to be funny. Giving a response would be weird, so Alice swallowed down the explanation that you couldn’t have an ordinance against quoting an ordinance because that would be an infringement of the First Amendment.

“You’re being rude,” she said. “You’re keeping the entire hotel awake.”

Beau produced a crooked little smirk that caused a dimple to appear in his right cheek. “Sorry, darlin’.”

Beau wasn’t sorry at all, and since the innocent aw-shucks routine had never worked on Alice, he figured she knew it.

He hooked a thumb in the waistband of his jeans, which he’d yanked on quickly to answer the door. He hadn’t bothered with the button, and the jeans slid lower on his hips. He started to hike them up, but then he noticed Alice’s gaze had dropped—so had her jaw—and the color in her cheeks had gone from rosy to fire-engine