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Iā€™ll dig the gold myself, anā€™ then Iā€™m goinā€™ down to Godā€™s countryā ā€”Southern Californiaā ā€”thatā€™s the place for me to end my declininā€™ daysā ā€”anā€™ then Iā€™ll startā ā€Šā ā€¦ as I said before, then Iā€™ll startā ā€Šā ā€¦ what did I say I was goinā€™ to start?ā€

ā€œOstrich farm,ā€ Mucluc Charley volunteered.

ā€œSure, just what Iā€™m goinā€™ to start.ā€ Oā€™Brien abruptly steadied himself and looked with awe at Mucluc Charley. ā€œHow did you know? Never said so. Jesā€™ thought I said so. Youā€™re a minā€™ reader, Charley. Leā€™s have another.ā€

Curly Jim filled the glasses and had the pleasure of seeing four dollarsā€™ worth of whisky disappear, one dollarā€™s worth of which he punished himselfā ā€”Oā€™Brien insisted that he should drink as frequently as his guests.

ā€œBetter take the money now,ā€ Leclaire argued. ā€œTake you two years to dig it out the hole, anā€™ all that time you might be hatchinā€™ teeny little baby ostriches anā€™ pulling feathers out the big ones.ā€

Oā€™Brien considered the proposition and nodded approval. Curly Jim looked gratefully at Leclaire and refilled the glasses.

ā€œHold on there!ā€ spluttered Mucluc Charley, whose tongue was beginning to wag loosely and trip over itself. ā€œAs your father confessorā ā€”there I goā ā€”as your brotherā ā€”O hell!ā€ He paused and collected himself for another start. ā€œAs your frienā€™ā ā€”business frienā€™, I should say, I would suggest, ratherā ā€”I would take the liberty, as it was, to mentionā ā€”I mean, suggest, that there may be more ostrichesā ā€Šā ā€¦ O hell!ā€ He downed another glass, and went on more carefully. ā€œWhat Iā€™m drivinā€™ at isā ā€Šā ā€¦ what am I drivinā€™ at?ā€ He smote the side of his head sharply half a dozen times with the heel of his palm to shake up his ideas. ā€œI got it!ā€ he cried jubilantly. ā€œSupposen thereā€™s slathers moreā€™n ten thousand dollars in that hole!ā€

Oā€™Brien, who apparently was all ready to close the bargain, switched about.

ā€œGreat!ā€ he cried. ā€œSplenā€™d idea. Never thought of it all by myself.ā€ He took Mucluc Charley warmly by the hand. ā€œGood frienā€™! Good ā€™sā€™ciate!ā€ He turned belligerently on Curly Jim. ā€œMaybe hundred thousand dollars in that hole. You wouldnā€™t rob your old frienā€™, would you, Curly? Course you wouldnā€™t. I know youā ā€”betterā€™n yourself, betterā€™n yourself. Leā€™s have another: Weā€™re good frienā€™s, all of us, I say, all of us.ā€

And so it went, and so went the whisky, and so went Curly Jimā€™s hopes up and down. Now Leclaire argued in favour of immediate sale, and almost won the reluctant Oā€™Brien over, only to lose him to the more brilliant counterargument of Mucluc Charley. And again, it was Mucluc Charley who presented convincing reasons for the sale and Percy Leclaire who held stubbornly back. A little later it was Oā€™Brien himself who insisted on selling, while both friends, with tears and curses, strove to dissuade him. The more whiskey they downed, the more fertile of imagination they became. For one sober pro or con they found a score of drunken ones; and they convinced one another so readily that they were perpetually changing sides in the argument.

The time came when both Mucluc Charley and Leclaire were firmly set upon the sale, and they gleefully obliterated Oā€™Brienā€™s objections as fast as he entered them. Oā€™Brien grew desperate. He exhausted his last argument and sat speechless. He looked pleadingly at the friends who had deserted him. He kicked Mucluc Charleyā€™s shins under the table, but that graceless hero immediately unfolded a new and most logical reason for the sale. Curly Jim got pen and ink and paper and wrote out the bill of sale. Oā€™Brien sat with pen poised in hand.

ā€œLeā€™s have one more,ā€ he pleaded. ā€œOne more before I sign away a hundred thousanā€™ dollars.ā€

Curly Jim filled the glasses triumphantly. Oā€™Brien downed his drink and bent forward with wobbling pen to affix his signature. Before he had made more than a blot, he suddenly started up, impelled by the impact of an idea colliding with his consciousness. He stood upon his feet and swayed back and forth before them, reflecting in his startled eyes the thought process that was taking place behind. Then he reached his conclusion. A benevolent radiance suffused his countenance. He turned to the faro dealer, took his hand, and spoke solemnly.

ā€œCurly, youā€™re my frienā€™. Thereā€™s my hanā€™. Shake. Olā€™ man, I wonā€™t do it. Wonā€™t sell. Wonā€™t rob a frienā€™. No son-of-a-gun will ever have chance to say Marcus Oā€™Brien robbed frienā€™ cause frienā€™ was drunk. Youā€™re drunk, Curly, anā€™ I wonā€™t rob you. Jesā€™ had thoughtā ā€”never thought it beforeā ā€”donā€™t know what the matter ā€™ith me, but never thought it before. Suppose, jesā€™ suppose, Curly, my olā€™ frienā€™, jesā€™ suppose there ainā€™t ten thousanā€™ in whole damn claim. Youā€™d be robbed. No, sir; wonā€™t do it. Marcus Oā€™Brien makes money out of the grounā€™, not out of his frienā€™s.ā€

Percy Leclaire and Mucluc Charley drowned the faro dealerā€™s objections in applause for so noble a sentiment. They fell upon Oā€™Brien from either side, their arms lovingly about his neck, their mouths so full of words they could not hear Curlyā€™s offer to insert a clause in the document to the effect that if there werenā€™t ten thousand in the claim he would be given back the difference between yield and purchase price. The longer they talked the more maudlin and the more noble the discussion became. All sordid motives were banished. They were a trio of philanthropists striving to save Curly Jim from himself and his own philanthropy. They insisted that he was a philanthropist. They refused to accept for a moment that there could be found one ignoble thought in all the world. They crawled and climbed and scrambled over high ethical plateaus and ranges, or drowned themselves in metaphysical seas of sentimentality.

Curly Jim sweated and fumed and poured out the whisky. He found himself with a score of arguments on his hands, not one of which had anything to do with the goldmine he wanted to buy. The longer they talked the farther away they got from that goldmine, and at two in the morning Curly Jim acknowledged

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