Age of Monsters by John Schneider (books to read for self improvement .TXT) 📗

it's like?” he said.  “I'll try to tell you.  You are what you do.  When you behave according to your training, you're a soldier – and you get soldier results.

“It's like you,” he said, “when you're cutting someone open, you disassociate.  The open chest-cavity is just a workplace, and the scalpel is just a tool.”

Now he nodded, as if saying it out-loud for the first time.

“You know how I do it?  I look at the world two ways.  When I'm out there...”

He paused, instinctively reaching for his wallet, and the worn snapshot kept protectively within.  He touched his pocket briefly, like a talisman.

“...and when I'm with her,” he finished.

He shrugged.

“That's it,” he said.  “That's what grounds me.  That's what I'm fighting for.  Every time.”

Rosa glanced up, picturing the ruined city above their heads.

“Your wife,” she began doubtfully.  “Is she..., I mean... where is she?”

“Well,” Lucas said, “we live up in the hills just north of the California border, up in Oregon.  Or, I guess she does.”

He paused, and for the slightest moment, the cocksure smile faltered just a little bit.  Just for a second, Rosa could see past the shield.

“I do worry sometimes,” he said.  “I'm gone a lot.  It's one thing to be gone a year – and then another year... but after about ten of those strung together...”

He stopped, hunting for the right words.  “Well, I guess you kinda start to not know each other anymore.  It's like remembering somebody they used to be.”

Lucas fell silent a moment.

“You know,” he said, “before all this, I was going to take some time off.  Look at my options.”  He smiled regretfully.  “Maybe come home for a while.  Or maybe for good.”

He sighed.

“But it seems like there's always one more thing to do.”

Rosa hesitated, but asked the question anyway.  “What I meant was... well, have you heard from her?”

Lucas smiled confidently.

“Oh, she pulled through, alright,” he said.  “She wouldn't have been near any of the epicenters.  She'll be holed up, somewhere.  And when she doesn't hear from me, she'll know where to meet up.  We planned ALL this.”

He shook his head, tapping his watch again.  “And like I told you, she's going to be pissed if I'm late.”

There was no doubt in his voice whatsoever – she was fine.  All he had to do was get there.

No doubt in his mind.

He turned a furrowed eye down at Rosa.  “What about you, Doctor Holland?  You're easy on the eyes.  Why haven't you got yourself a fella?”

“Well,” Rosa said, “I guess I'm not exactly Suzy-homemaker.”

'Hmm,” Lucas said, considering.  “Funny.  I actually had you pegged as a Stepford-wife.”

Rosa blinked.  “I beg your pardon?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said.  “Cooking, cleaning, sexy lingerie.  The trick with gals like you, is to make sure you think it's all your idea.”  He grinned.  “It worked on my wife.”

Rosa found herself struggling for a response.

“Boy,” he continued.  “I shouldn't have told you that.  Now, if you ever meet her, I'll have to shoot you.”

Rosa, with blood still splattered on her clothes, did not find that remark as flip as he probably meant it.

They had been walking for nearly an hour, and now Lucas stopped, listening.

Off in the distance, they could hear skittering – more of those little scavengers – probably following them.

Lucas started hunting around for the nearest access route back up to the street.

“There's probably a lot of those little bastards scurrying around,” he said. “I'm sure not going to sleep down here.”

He found a ladder and began to climb.

With a grunt, Lucas shoved the manhole at the top aside, popping his head up like a gopher, before climbing up onto the open street.   Rosa could see him shoulder his rifle, scanning the area, before snapping his fingers, for everyone to follow.

Rosa was chagrined to find herself, along with all the others, responding like a troop of trained dogs.  Programming, it seemed, worked even when you were aware of it – even in the short term.  Rosa would never say Lieutenant Walker was not good at his job.

Neither did she make a fuss about keeping to his side, just like Julie, as he led them into the street

To Daryl and Bob, he each handed back one of the pistols he'd taken only a little over an hour before, along with clips.

“You're part of the group, now,” he told them.  “If you fuck us, I'll kill you.”

“Yessir,” they said together, and dutifully took point on either side.

Lucas had also taken a moment to check on Allison.

“We might have a walk,” he said.  “Are you up for it?”

Allison nodded.

Lucas eyed her.  “Don't bullshit me to be tough.  I need to know what's real.  You're pregnant.  That's draining.  I need to know how far your legs are going to take you.”

“All the way,” Allison said – being tough.

Lucas glanced at Bud, who nodded.  “We'll holler out if we need a break,” he said.

Jamie had been hovering under Jeremy's wing, but now Lucas stepped up to her directly.

“You ready, soldier?”

She smiled furtively, all wide-eyes and trembling lip.

Lucas produced a nine-millimeter and handed it to Jeremy – empty with a clip.

“Here,” he said, “show her how to use this.”

Rosa had to hand it to him – boot-camp in five-minutes or less.

They had come out of the sewers near the north bay – they would still have to make their way nearly across the entire city.

“Boy,” Lucas said, “you should have seen the rig I found back at the old spot.  Four-by – eight-seater, air-conditioning, good CD collection – sure wish someone hadn't wandered off and fucked that all up.”

Rosa breathed out steadily.

Okay, maybe she deserved that one.

Lucas led them first to the high-ground, finding a