EXFIL by Anthony Patton (best books to read non fiction TXT) 📗

me in a difficult position. “Look, teaching with you at West Point would be fantastic, but you know I have to take my last shot at brigadier general.”

“Honey,” she said and smiled at the boys with a firm squeeze of my hand, “we’ve been living apart one year for you to pursue this. We can wait a few more months.” She finished her coffee—discussion over. “Will this operation with Brett delay things if you get promoted?”

I took a deep breath and nodded to acknowledge that I was acting like an ass. Beth was always the reasonable one in the relationship, doing everything in her power to accommodate both of our careers. Meanwhile, I was busy dwelling on my own insecurities.

“I would guess at least a couple months.”

She nodded, checked her watch, and gestured to the boys. “We should catch our flight.”

The drive to Reagan International Airport was pleasant, with high-fives, hugs, and kisses at the drop off; and just like that, the pleasant spell was broken.

◆◆◆

The next meeting was weighing on my mind during the drive. I considered various scenarios but decided that the best option was to enter the room calm and cool, as if I had other things on my mind.

My plan imploded, however, when I entered the conference room at the FBI Washington Field Office to see Donna Howard sitting with Brett and Nguyen.

They looked up in silence, not a smile in the room.

“Good morning,” I said and turned to pour coffee in an FBI mug. “Sorry I’m late.” To gather my thoughts, I stirred two packets of artificial sweetener and powdered non-dairy creamer with two flimsy red straws. Brett touched Donna’s arm as I sat.

“We’re discussing the unfortunate death of Captain Howard.”

I nodded. “I was advised that his death was an Army issue.”

Nguyen cleared his throat. “This is now a possible espionage case involving an American citizen. FBI is investigating as well.”

“Is something wrong?” Donna asked me.

I shook my head and gestured for them to continue, dreading the thought of an espionage angle to the case, exactly what Brett and Nguyen had suspected from the beginning.

Donna dried a tear and unfolded a piece of paper.

“Captain Howard sent Donna a letter before his death,” Nguyen explained.

Donna cleared her throat and began reading.

My Dearest Love,

If you’re reading this letter, it’s because I’m no longer with you. I couldn’t face the shame of seeing you after the truth was revealed. For this reason, I wanted you to be with the kids at home.

I wrote this letter to prevent anyone from altering it or destroying it in the motel room. Needless to say, my chain of command wouldn’t want the truth of my activities to be revealed.

In short, my love, I haven’t been the faithful husband you deserved.

I got caught up in something treacherous and there was no escape. I take full responsibility for my actions and know I have no one to blame but myself.

While meeting with a Chinese official, I was presented with evidence of my own misdeeds and agreed to work for them. I guess I thought it was the best way to protect everyone. They allowed me to report to my chain of command that everything was on track and provided me bits of intelligence to keep everyone satisfied. So, I gave them a mixture of true and false information, but they saw through my plan and demanded that I submit to a polygraph. Faced with revealing secrets to the Chinese or being shamed for my sins, I decided there was only one way out.

Please know I love you and the kids from the bottom of my heart. I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Love,

Tom

Donna wiped her tears, folded the letter, and turned to me with anger in her eyes.

The look in her gaze demanded an explanation.

“Could we make a copy of the letter?” Nguyen asked, lowering his head with empathy as she slid it to him.

“What the hell?” she said to me. “Am I supposed to believe that Tom was cheating on me and spying for China?”

I decided against feigning ignorance. Everyone in the room already knew I was involved with Chen, and my visits with Tom to Club Ecstasy weren’t a secret either. “I’m as shocked as you are, Donna. Tom and I were meeting a Chinese official, and he continued to meet him after I left Bangkok. But he never said anything to me about being unfaithful or spying.”

That was a lie, of course, but no one knew about Tom’s confession to me about his infidelity. Besides, not to quibble, I never actually saw Tom have sex with the go-go dancer. If confronted, I could say I thought he got a lap dance in the VIP room—not ideal, but innocent enough.

I certainly wasn’t about to lay my cards on the table before the flop.

Nguyen’s eyes narrowed, but he was professional and circumspect enough to know he couldn’t discuss the issue in front of Donna. He touched her hand.

“We’re very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Howard. Thank you for coming in today.”

He walked her to the door. “We’ll be in touch soon,” he added as she departed.

Donna glared at me and shook her head as she exited.

I’m not sure what I was thinking right then, but I stood and offered an awkward wave. Brett gestured for me to sit and waited for Nguyen to return to his chair.

I leaned back with a groaning exhale. “I have to admit, gentlemen, I’ve never been so wrong about anything in my life. I knew Tom for two years and could never imagine any scenario in which he would betray his country.”

“What about the infidelity?” Nguyen asked. “If he was prone to this type of behavior, it would be important for our investigation. How did the Chinese find out?”

I took a deep breath to ponder the lie options. “I know things aren’t the same with civilians, but given our difference in rank, we wouldn’t discuss any personal issues that violate the