Dare You to Hate Me by B. Celeste (best android ereader .txt) 📗

building behind him. It’s the first thing I noticed about Lindon. Everything is styled the same. Brick, wood, and cobblestone make up most of the buildings and they’re all structured to conform to the designer’s whims. It’s a cute little campus, warm, small, and easy to navigate, but nothing special. Maybe that’s why I like it so much. There are no surprises here. Well, at least there weren’t until Aiden walked into Bea’s Bakery. “I was on my way to the gym when I saw you walking, so I figured I’d wait to see if everything is okay.”

He always does that. Concerns himself with me when I’ve proven time and time again I’m not worth his time. “Aiden…”

“Can’t I do that? Check in?”

My gaze drops to the ground. Rock salt and dirt cover the broken pavement. “You can, I just don’t understand why you’d want to.”

Two fingers tilt my chin up to meet a set of deep blue eyes. They burn as they lock with mine, making it hard to break contact. “When are you going to get it through your head that we’re always going to have a past, Ivy? We were friends for a long time, and I swore I’d be your friend for life.”

Pain strikes me, weaving into every possible nook and cranny it can. “But people lose touch all the time. Friendships fade. I’ve done things that—”

“I don’t care about what you’ve done.” There’s an edge to his voice that says he’s lying, but he doesn’t address it. “I care about what you do now that we have each other again. I’m determined to prove that to you.”

A moment passes. “How?”

“However I can.” His answer is instant, making me blink slowly a few times as if his determination will somehow disappear with the flicker of my lashes. “You never questioned me when we were younger. Why start now? Why not believe in me?”

My emotions threaten to choke me, but I manage to swallow them. “Because I know what people are capable of now. I’m not naïve anymore.”

Hurt drowns his eyes as if I’ve personally wounded him. “I’m not going to hurt you, Ivy. I never have. What makes you think now is any different?”

Because now I don’t think I’d be able to walk away from you, and I’m scared of what that means for me.

I’ve always mapped an escape route. I like having a plan, knowing where to go if the time arises. It’s how I’ve survived the past four years—fight or flight.

I fight the feelings that take over my stomach and wrap around my ribcage and wait for the moment I bolt before I can let them win.

Aiden makes me feel that way.

Anxious.

Needy.

Unsettled and settled at the same time.

Seeing him after all this time hasn’t changed that, and it should have. Four years has molded who I am, what I believe in, and how I view the world.

So why hasn’t it changed how I feel about the boy who used to be my best friend?

“I’m protecting myself,” I tell him honestly, knowing there’s no room for lying if he wants to understand. “You should do the same. I’m Chaos, remember? I mess everything up. I hurt you. I left. I—”

He steps toward me, crowding my space with his large body and making the words lodge in my throat. His arms go to the wall on either side of my body, caging me between him and the building against my back. The brick is scratching my head as I look up to see his serious expression pinning me to my spot in a challenge, like he’s daring me to try moving away.

I don’t.

I stay there, locked in a stare down with the person I’ve always admired and wanted to be like. What does he see? Someone broken? A ghost? A disappointment?

The last thought fills my heart with darkness. It’d be a deserved title knowing what I’ve done—who I’ve had to be in order to make it where I am today. I shouldn’t be ashamed, but I am. And shame welcomes a downward spiral that I can’t afford right now, so I shove it away with as much mental strength as I can muster.

“I want to be your friend,” he declares.

A stuttered breath releases from my parted lips, surprise evident in the way my eyes widen at his firm statement. There’s no question or doubt like there should be knowing how unpredictable I am. Doesn’t he get that?

Aiden doesn’t stop there. “I want to be the person you can rely on if you need someone, even if you can do it on your own. I want to cheer you on like you always did for me. To support you with whatever makes you happy. And I want that to be me.”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

“You want to make me happy?”

“I miss your smile.” A hand raises and I freeze as his fingertips brush my bottom lip like he’s exploring them in wonder. “You don’t do it nearly as much as you used to. Even when your parents fought, even when you crawled into my room at night, you found reasons to smile.”

I blink.

He blinks.

I move my hand so it rests on his abdomen and feel his muscles contract under my palm.

His hand moves to brush fallen hair out of my face so there’s no obstruction of view. I see the intensity in his eyes as they take me in.

All of me.

My past.

My present.

“Let me be a reason to smile,” he whispers so quietly it’s almost drowned out with the pitter-patter of rain around us.

My eyes close for a moment as I collect my rampant emotions, but I already know I’m done for with that plea spoken in seven tiny words.

All I can manage to say through my choked voice is, “I miss smiling too.”

It’s not a yes.

It’s not a no.

It’s not me pushing him away like my default is. He’s been warned already, and if there’s one thing about Aiden Griffith it’s that his determination is his strongest trait.

I