The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance - Giulia Lagomarsino (best book club books of all time TXT) 📗

arms and a big grin on her face. She didn’t even say hi before she shoved past me into the house.

“You’re not going to believe what happened to me last night.” Her nose crinkled and she sniffed. “Do I smell poop?”

I looked down at my shirt and then checked my arms. Sure enough, I had a long swipe of shit on my arm. Perfect. “You think your night was bad, you should have seen what Sebastian left me with this morning.”

“Oh no, what happened?”

“First, he can’t tell his kids apart. Second, he said that Tucker left a small, pea-sized poop on the floor, which turned out to be a massive pile of shit. I swear, that kid shits more than he eats.”

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t show up until now.”

Caitlin came bounding down the stairs, headed right for the front door. “Where are you going?” I shouted.

“Training.”

“Not so fast! You take Clara and Gunner with you!”

“Mom,” she whined. “Do I have to?”

“You could always stay home with me and help me take care of the triplets and Tucker.”

She sighed and marched around the house, collecting her brother and sister while I watched with glee.

“It must be nice to have a built-in babysitter,” Molly laughed.

“I’m not complaining. I swear, once she hit the age where she could start unloading the dishwasher, it was like this huge moment in my life. I can’t wait for her to start driving.”

“Well, I’ve got some good news, but I’m not sure how to approach it after what happened last night.”

“Okay, start with the good news.”

A huge grin split her lips. “I’m pregnant.”

“Of course you would see that as good news.”

Her face dropped. “It’s not?”

“For you? Yes. I swear to God, if Sebastian even so much as comes close to me with his dick again, I’ll cut it off.”

“You don’t have sex anymore?”

“We do,” I sighed. “I just make sure that he always wears a condom, which he hates, and I’m on birth control.”

“Is that really necessary? Didn’t he get a vasectomy with Sinner?”

I snorted. “Yeah, like I believe that. He promised me after the triplets that we were done, but I don’t believe him. I see the way he looks at pregnant women, that longing in his eyes. I swear, he wants at least a few more.”

And if I was going to ensure that I never got pregnant again, I was going to have to do everything in my power to make sure that he was always wrapped up.

Chapter Sixteen

Tacos

“I don’t get why the hell we have to do this,” I grumbled, stewing at the table as I poked at a take-home container Molly had packed me.

“You’re not seriously eating that, are you?” Coop asked. “You know Jackson’s mom will make you something.”

“I can’t take this home full. It’ll hurt her feelings.”

“That’s why you throw it away,” Storm said slowly, like I was stupid.

And maybe I was stupid, because I didn’t want to hurt my wife’s feelings. It was like I was betraying her if I didn’t eat her cooking. She was trying so hard to make good meals, but no matter how much Susan tried to teach her, her meals always turned out wrong.

“Look, Molly’s dad is still alive, and he eats his wife’s cooking every day.”

“He probably has an ulcer,” Coop pointed out. “Or his stomach has become so used to the terrible food that he’s become immune.”

“Immune to food?” Storm asked. “Really?”

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m not the one eating food that’s toxic.”

“It’s not toxic,” I said, defending Molly. “You guys don’t understand how hard she works at making my meals.”

“The potatoes aren’t even cooked!” Coop said incredulously. “It’s not for lack of trying. None of us would accuse her of not caring about you, but her meals will kill you one day. Are you really prepared to die over food? Grow some balls, man.”

“Storm, you’re shitty with words. Help me out here.”

“Nope. I’m with Coop on this one. I’m sorry, man, but I’ve tried her cooking, and there is no way you can convince me to ever eat it again.”

“You know, no one really likes you,” I said, glaring at Storm.

“Doesn’t matter. You know why?”

“Please tell me. I’m dying to know.”

“Because I won the thumb war,” he said smugly.

“You did not. I won. You just ran out of the room before I could and then pushed me in the bushes.”

“Hey, who introduced himself as Tony Tacos? Yeah, that’s right. It was you. You screwed yourself over on that one.”

“You know what? I don’t even care. You and Jessica Rabbit are perfect for each other, and you’re really lucky you have her because no other woman would put up what you consider dirty talk.”

“Hey, it works for us.”

I huffed out a laugh. “And I thought Derek was weird for living out superhero fantasies with Claire.”

“At least Jessica doesn’t poison me on a daily basis,” he shot back.

“Boys!” Coop shouted. “Can we move on with this? Two grown men and you’re arguing like teenagers. It’s embarrassing. You’re lucky no one else is in here to witness this.”

We both glared at each other for a minute, and just when I thought we were finally going to move on, Storm muttered, “At least I’m not scared of ghosts.”

I stood quickly, shoving my chair back. “Say that again.”

“Alright,” he said, standing and crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re like a sissy girl. You’re afraid of ghosts and hide in coal chutes, and you’re too afraid to tell your wife that her cooking is going to kill you. Think about that, you’d rather die than let your wife know that her cooking is deadly. Never mind holding a gun on the enemy, just hand them a pot of her cooking, and they’ll keel over in less than a minute.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“You know it is,” he glared. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

Well, shit, he just threw down the gauntlet. I couldn’t not say anything to her now.