Following Me by Linde, K.A. (best books to read in your 20s .txt) 📗

so distant.  Devon hadn’t been able to reach out toher at all.  Even though she had still been physically present, she was nolonger mentally there.  Brennan was a dangerous circumstance to consider.  Hewatched her too intensely, and she was sure that he hadn’t forgotten theirkiss.  He kept his distance because he knew about Reid.  But for how long? Garrett had been her rock, her only sense of normalcy.

“I thought you said you weresleeping better,” he said accusingly.

Devon swallowed hard, trying tofind her voice.  After that terrible nightmare, she wasn’t sure she could eventhink straight.  “I thought I was, too,” she said, her voice hoarse.

“You’re back to crying when youwake up.  Next, you’ll be screaming again.  What changed?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”  Staring down atthe white carpet, she tried not to think about it.

“Do you remember the dream?  Canyou tell me about it?” he asked cautiously.

She wanted to shut down.  Shedidn’t want to discuss her dreams with anyone.  She didn’t even want to thinkabout them.  But here Garrett was, comforting her and helping her.  It feltlike no one else even cared.  Even though she hadn’t told other people, he washere, and he was so damn nice.  Maybe she could trust him.  Maybe…

Devon slowly nodded her head. “I…I remember,” she said softly.

“Will you tell me about it?” herepeated.

The silence that lingered betweenthem was thick with tension.  He was waiting for her to answer, and she wasdetermined not to.  What could she say to make him understand?  Shecouldn’t tell him everything.  She couldn’t tell him what had really happened. How would he react?  What would he do?

“You don’t have to tell me,”Garrett said finally, staring down at the same space of carpet.  “I understandif it’s personal.  I just want to help you.  Maybe talking about it will makethe dreams stop.”

Devon hadn’t thought of that. She didn’t think the dreams would ever stop.  They had stopped for the longeststretch of time recently, and still, they had returned with a vengeance.

Garrett sighed softly as if hethought he had lost.  “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine,” he said,beginning to rise.

Devon reached out and touched hisarm.  “Don’t go,” she whispered.

His eyes met hers then, and shewas sure that all he saw was a hollow shell looking back at him.  She feltpitiful and worthless.  She just needed someone to believe in her.

He nodded and sat back down. “Are you going to tell me about the dream?”

“I’ve never talked about itbefore,” she answered finally.  “Not really.”

“Well, I’m all ears.  You don’thave to be afraid to talk to me.”

Taking a deep breath, Devonbegan.  She told him what she had been experiencing in her dreams—how theperson would always chase her and how the landscape would alter but it wouldalways be the same person.  She didn’t know how she knew that it had been thesame person each time, but she just did.  She told him about the fear that hadgripped her, the inevitable end when she had been caught, and more recently,the times she had been thrown down on the snowy white bed in the matching whiteroom.  But she didn’t tell him the words the person had spoken.  She wasn’tprepared to release that much of herself.

Garrett listened intently thewhole time as if he was trying to really soak up what she had experienced.  Thelonger she talked, the more invested he seemed to become in her story.  Henever laughed or made light of her dream even though at times when she wastelling the story, it didn’t actually seem as scary as it had been in hersleep.

As the story came to a close, sheended in a huff and just sat there in front of him with her fears laid out inhis lap.  She didn’t know how he would respond or what he would say.  She feltexposed and more than a little bit silly.

“That sounds scary, Dev,” hefinally said.  “No wonder you wake up in tears.”

His eyes were filled withsympathy, and she suddenly didn’t feel as silly.  His acceptance wasinvigorating.  She felt justified in her fear rather than feeling childish.

“Why do you think you keep havingthese dreams?  Do you have any idea?” he asked, taking her very seriously.

Another crossroad.  How muchcould she tell him?  Not the truth, not all of it.  Maybe just a piece. Definitely not the root cause.  She wasn’t ready for that.  She didn’t knowif she would ever be ready for that.  She had to tell him something though.

“I have my suspicions,” she saidsoftly.

“Any you would like to share withme?”

Devon sighed heavily.  Heregoes nothing, she thought.

“I, um…can only guess.  They’renot reality.  I mean, I’ve never had anyone chase me,” she told him.

“Right.”

“Well…I didn’t come to Chicagofor a vacation,” she said as fast as she possibly could.

He nodded.  “When you decided tostay, I figured that, but I didn’t want to pry.”

Devon hadn’t told anyone thiseven though she knew Hadley and Brennan had speculated about the circumstancesof her staying.  And she couldn’t tell Garrett why either.  She just wasn’tready.

“I kind of ran away from mylife,” she whispered softly.  She was ashamed to even say it out loud.  It soundedjust as foolish as when she had recounted her dreams.

“What could be so bad that youwould want to run away?” he asked curiously.

He didn’t sound like he wasjudging her, like she had expected.  He just sounded interested in herproblems.  She could trust him.  She could begin to trust him.

“Well…I was kind of tired of mylife,” she said, tiptoeing around the real problem.  “I told my boyfriend thatI was in Paris with my family for the summer, and I told my family that I wasstaying in St. Louis with my boyfriend.  Then, I called Hadley and hopped onthe first train here.  I needed to get away.  There were too many things Icouldn’t take anymore.  Sometimes, I feel like I was just being melodramaticabout the whole thing, like maybe it wasn’t as bad as it seemed.”

Before speaking, Garrett seemedto consider what she had said.  “So, you think you’re having these dreamsbecause you ran away?”

“Maybe.  I don’t know,” she said,not wanting to be any less vague.

“It must not have been easy toget on