Craved Mate: Cybermates by Ayers, Candace (best ebook pdf reader android txt) 📗

I walked over to Ame’s crib and looked down at the sleeping little drool-dlebug who had me wrapped around her little finger. “I’ll never understand her.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, Mac. This is Jenny’s. I hope she’ll wake up and see that one day.” She released a wobbly sigh and cleared her throat. “I really thought she might change her mind and come home.”

“I’m sorry, Heather.” I quietly backed out and closed the door to Ame’s bedroom. I sat on the living room couch. “Just tell me what and when and I’ll be there.”

She hesitated. “There’s something else.”

I didn’t like the way she sounded. Had she and Warren changed their stance about supporting me in adopting Ame? A terror snaked through me. I would always be Ame’s biological great-uncle, and I would be in her life regardless, but I had my heart set on being a dad to her.

“What is it, Heather? I hope you and Warren aren’t offended by how happy I am that Ame’s going to be officially mine. I know this is tough for you.”

“Actually, Warren and I are thrilled. We think you are just what Ame needs, and we know we’ll still get to be doting grandparents to our granddaughter.”

“Of course. So, you said there was something else?”

“You’re not gonna like this. But we talked about it, and if you want our full support, we need you to go to Melody and repair the damage you’ve done.” She sighed. “Before it’s too late.”

My chest tightened. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb with me. You know what I mean. You’re so afraid of causing pain and so hung up on trying to prevent it, that in the process, that’s exactly what you’re doing—causing pain. To both of you. All three of you.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Don’t I?”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see. “Look at you, Heather. I have a hard time accepting that you truly believe that. You’ve been through hell. You and Warren both. You’re suffering. Don’t tell me you’re not. I know you are.”

“Yes, of course, you see us suffering through a difficult time, sure. What you don’t see are the moments I have with Warren when no one else is around. The way we still get to cuddle in bed, or the way we spend hours talking while we’re waiting around for his appointments. We’ve never been closer.”

“But… I mean… What if… Uh…”

“What if he dies?”

I was startled by how easily she said it. “Yes.”

“If he dies, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll die right along with him. And if I don’t, I’m fairly certain that at least a major part of me will go with him. We’re a pair. He’s my other half. Without him, I will be lost. But nothing in life is guaranteed. I’m grateful for every second I’ve gotten to spend with my mate. Everybody dies. Most of us don’t know if it’ll be today, tomorrow, ten years from now, or fifty years from now.”

She let out a sigh. “Hamish, I know you’ve seen so much suffering. I know those years of being on duty, fighting fires and working as an EMT in Cleveland you’ve seen some horribly tragic sights. People suffering unimaginable losses, but I want to ask you something. Let’s say these are my mate’s last days, do you think that if I could go back and do it again, knowing what I know now, and how it all ended, I’d do it differently?”

“Heather, I see the new lines on your face, the circles under your eyes, the fatigue in your posture—”

“In. A. Heartbeat.”

“What?”

“As much as this illness sucks, I wouldn’t trade the pain of watching the man I love suffer for one second of the time I’ve spent with him. Not a single second. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. You know why?”

I grunted in response.

“IT WAS WORTH IT!”

It was worth it?

“We don’t always get to choose what happens to us in life, but five minutes of sheer bliss is worth a hundred years of nothing special. Because it’s those moments of bliss that make life worth living. You are not a coward, Hamish.”

I growled. “It’s not about being a coward.”

“Yeah, it is. You’re too scared of what might happen to enjoy the good fortune that is happening. Let me know when you’ve made an honest attempt at winning your mate back, then we’ll talk about Warren and I supporting you through the adoption process.”

“You’re serious?”

“Very. Go and find your bliss, Hamish MacGregor.”

I stared at my phone after Heather hung up, my heart beating out a painful rhythm. Then, my stomach roiling, I dialed Ben back. As soon as he answered, I jumped in. “Don’t hang up.”

23

Mel

The wedding of Brandi and Nathan Hill went off without a hitch. Or maybe I should say with a hitch since they got hitched.

They were dancing and eating and celebrating their sacred union of ‘til death do them part, and reveling in the merriment along with family, friends, and well-wishers.

I stood before a microphone trying to control my pout reflex as I witnessed yet another wedding reception. Another loving couple was fawning over each other while I stood with a gaping wound where my heart used to be.

Nathan couldn’t take his eyes off his new bride, and while I sang Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years,” Brandi and Nathan danced their first dance as Mr. and Mrs.

They were a beautiful couple.

I forced my eyes closed so I could make it through the song. It was getting harder and harder to pretend I wasn’t dying inside during our wedding gigs. Time should’ve eased the pain. Instead, I felt as though the pain grew roots and was taking permanent hold over me.

The song came to an end, and as I opened my eyes to watch the last moment of the dance, movement in the crowd caught my eye. For a brief moment, I thought I saw Mac. My heart leaped, then sank when my brain