Googol Boy and the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy by John Michael (good short books .TXT) 📗

thank you for the pleasant chat,” replied Mum uncomfortably, as we quickly walked away while averting all eye contact.

Barney and I stood there with our faces pressed against the bars of the iron gate, thinking about the fate of the poor orphans. The last flicker of sunlight reflected off the underbelly of the clouds which made them glisten like fading embers. An owl hooted in the distance and then an eerie silence filled the air.

“Okay Barney, time to hit the road,” I murmured.

“Yep... you’re right Howie, nothing more to see here.”

Suddenly a harsh grating sound broke the stillness, Barney and I quickly turned our heads towards the noise which sounded like metal scraping against stone. Just up the pathway through the trees and near the moat, we could make out the outline of a plump figure pushing a large round object along the gravel.

“Is that the matron Barney?”

“I think you’re right Howie.”

“What do you suppose she has there?

“Hmm... whatever it is, it seems quite heavy.”

“Well Barn, it’s definitely made out of metal.”

“And it’s round!”

“Do you think it could be –”

“Oh, it’s something alright!”

“No! it can’t be!”

“But Howie, it is!”

“Hmm... maybe it’s so!”

“You don’t think... not the Great Quiz Trophy?”

“What? I can’t believe it!”

“That crafty old cow − stealing from her own orphans!”

“If she has the trophy, then she has the charity money too!”

“We’ve got to do something Howie!”

“Yes... but what?”

Suddenly I could feel my brain whirring... the cogs were spinning and in my mind’s eye a complete Sherlock Holmes story unfurled in front of me. It was about a Baron and his Ming pottery, books in a library, people jumping out of windows, two women called Kitty and Violet and, most importantly, instructions on how to distract a villainous criminal.

“Elementary my dear Barney!”

“Huh?”

“Never mind. We need to distract the matron!”

“Distract her? How?”

“You need to pretend that you are an expert on Chinese pottery, you will go by the name of Dr Hill Barton, and you need to enter the orphanage and sell the matron a rare and precious piece of Ming pottery.”

“I don’t understand what you are talking about!” whimpered Barney.

“Well... I’m not sure either. That idea definitely sounded better in my head!” I responded in exasperation as a crow squawked loudly as it flew overhead. “Wait a minute! That’s it! I know! Make some animal noises!”

“Animal noises?”

“Yes... to distract the matron.”

“Ah alright... what type?”

“I don’t know! Any type!”

“Um okay,” Barney responded.

I looked at Barney in disbelief. “Really? What was that?”

“Um... a duck.”

“A duck? No way!”

“Yes way.”

“It sounded like you were coughing up some phlegm.”

“Well I was just getting warmed up.”

“C’mon Barney. We need something a little more threatening.” I turned around and saw the shadowy figure of the matron as she continued up the path. “Hurry! She’s getting away!”

“I’m all out of ideas!”

“That’s it? You can only do ducks?” I cried in frustration.

“Yes! I can’t work under this pressure!” wailed Barney as he threw his arms up in the air.

Then I suddenly remembered our encounter with the matron as Mum and I were walking T-Bone. “Dogs! That’s it! She doesn’t like dogs... go for some barking!”

“What? How can you not like dogs?”

“I don’t know! Stop wasting time! Just make some barking sounds!”

“Alright, alright,” Barney cleared his throat.

Barney also threw in a wolf howl,

“Nice improvisation Barn!”

The matron stood still and cocked her head to one side. “Who’s there?” she yelled in the dusky twilight as she let go of the trophy to get a better look at us. At that moment, she stepped back, lost her footing and tripped. The trophy started to roll down the gravel path towards us, while the matron rolled in the opposite direction towards the moat.

“Oh no... she’s fallen in!”

“What about the alligators?” cried Barney.

“They haven’t kept alligators in the moat for more than a hundred years!”

“Really?”

“I thought they still had alligators.”

“Not since the late 1800s.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” I snapped.

At that moment, our discussion was interrupted by a deafening clanking echo which sounded like church bells signalling the end of days.

We both jumped a metre into the air and almost out of our skins.

“What was that?!” I yelled as we both turned around.

“Oh look Howie... it’s the trophy,” claimed Barney as he pointed at the large dark metal silhouette which had crashed into the gate.

“Wait a minute!” I knelt down and took a closer look. “That’s not the trophy.”

“What do you mean it’s not the trophy?”

“It’s a copper cauldron,” I responded as I reached out between the bars of the gate and touched the cold metal. “She must have been getting it ready to boil some gruel for the orphans.”

“A cauldron?” queried Barney. “Are you sure?

“Yes, I’m sure... why do keep asking me that? Look for yourself − there are no engravings, no decorations, no nothing.”

Barney knelt down and took a closer look. “Hmm... I guess you’re right. Now that you mention it, it does look like a cauldron.”

“Of course it looks like a cauldron! And do you know why?”

“Um... why Howie?”

“Because it IS a cauldron!”

Barney took another look, this time reaching out and touching the cauldron himself. “Hmm... you’re right Howie... and now it’s got a big dent in it now... I think the matron is gonna be mighty peeved. Why did you think it was the trophy if it’s clearly a cauldron?”

“I never said that!”

“You told me that it –”

“Wait a minute Barney... you were the one who said it was the trophy.”

“No... I’m pretty sure it was you!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Was not!”

“Was too!”

“Was –”

Suddenly we heard some splashing sounds and a long drawn out gasp for breath and as we looked up, through the darkness, we saw the matron clambering out of the moat like some creature from the black lagoon.

“Who’s there?” yelled the matron as she pointed her finger towards us. “I see you! You snivelling scoundrels!”

She started to run towards the gate. Actually, it was more of a gallop and we could feel the ground vibrate under