Royal Line by Carrie Ryan (lightweight ebook reader .txt) 📗

the compulsion. For a long time after my parents died, I thought maybe if I’d somehow gotten them to stay, they’d still be alive. I was feeling sick, and they were going to stay home, but I told them to go. If I’d just played up being sick more, they’d have stayed at home and not been hit by a drunk driver.”

How the hell was that even the same thing? There was no way she could have known or stopped the events that happened. “But, London, that doesn’t make any—” I stopped when her brow lifted. “Well, it’s hardly the same thing.”

“Isn’t it? What happened to your wife was a horrible accident. Some psycho targeted her. You didn’t plant the bomb. Psychopaths have a way of getting to you no matter what. But the result could have still been the same, and you would have still found a way to blame yourself. You can’t carry that around with you.”

I wasn’t a fan of her brand of logic right now. “If you say so. I bet you’re still holding onto your parents though.”

She shrugged. “Well, it’s harder to shake off than I’m saying, but you have to try. You have a life to live.”

My gaze swept over her beautiful face. “And what about you? Have you lived your life?” I knew she was trying to avoid having some idiot’s baby. But was there someone she loved? Had there ever been? “You’re clearly smart, you’re stunning, and you’re a princess. I’m sure there have been offers.”

She licked her lips then. “Yes, there have been a few, but I don’t know, I always feel separate.” She gave me a wide smile. “I’m living my life, but maybe not living my best life. It’s like I’m some kind of spectator. I give the excuses of not having enough time to date and all those kinds of things, but honestly, I’m just terrified. I work really hard on having just the right image, doing all the right things. Doing what’s expected. And I am just terrified of failing everyone. All the time. I mean even photography. My mom was a photographer, and so every picture I take, every time I go out, I want to make her proud.”

“I’m sure they’re proud of you.”

“I hope so. But I don’t know, all the living life things are always a little bit out of reach. Because of honor, or duty, and all that jazz. Because, well, it’s sometimes easier not to do anything.”

“The woman I know is kind of a spitfire and takes no shit.”

“Well, that London is far away from home and terrified. So not entirely at my best here.”

“Well, I happen to like her. She thinks on her feet, she’s strong-willed. Feisty. I think she could have anything she wanted.”

She gazed up at me under lowered lashes. Then I could see her tongue peeking out to lick her bottom lip. “You’ve kissed me twice now. And then you backed off. Maybe you’re not over what happened to your wife. But you keep kissing me.”

I let out a shuddering sigh and tried to breathe. “I know. And honestly, I can’t fucking stay away. Every time I’m around you, my control slips.”

“You’re trying hard not to kiss me.”

“How am I doing?”

Her laugh was light and filled me with warmth. “You’re failing miserably.”

“Right. Let’s work on that.” She did that thing with her tongue again, and heat shot straight down to my dick. I swallowed hard. “London, you and me, that’s probably a recipe for disaster.”

Her gaze searched mine. “I know. It’s just you’re the first person I’ve had a real connection to in so long, I can’t even remember.”

I swallowed hard. “I don’t want to want you because I’m terrified you’re going to get hurt.”

“You see a grown woman in front of you, right?”

My lips quirked into a smile. “Absolutely grown.” My gaze dipped down to her breasts. My mouth went dry.

“I’m not sure what the hell is going to happen. Hell, I’m not even sure what I want. I just know how I feel when you touch me. And how I feel when you stop.”

How could I tell her that I was scared? That deep down I was afraud that this pull, this connection, was even stronger than the one I’d felt for Phoebe. With Phoebe, there’d been love and experience and trust. I’d known this woman not even a full three days, yet she fired all my instincts to protect her, to take care of her. It felt dangerous.

“Isn’t there some kind of law against royalty and commoners?”

“Funny you should ask that. It’s one of the laws Roman’s trying to change.”

I stared at her. “You deserve all the things you want.”

“Right now, what I want is you.”

I knew what I should say. I knew what I should do. I knew that I should stop and walk away and not touch her again. The problem was, I also knew that I couldn’t stay away from her. I’d known the woman for three days, and she already had a claim on a piece of me. I didn’t like it. I didn’t want it. But it was the truth. And there was no point trying to hide it.

I swiped my thumb over her bottom lip. “Do you know how good you taste?”

“No. But you can tell me.”

There it was again, that smile spreading over my face before I could even think about it or control it. This woman, who also drove me absolutely batshit crazy, was quietly working her way under my skin. Claiming a piece of me.

Maybe that was telling me something. You didn’t feel crazy over people you didn’t care about.

“If you were smart, you’d stay away from me.”

“Well, sometimes I do the things that I want, not the things that are expected.”

“Last chance, princess. I think you see now that if I drag you into the bedroom then I’m not going to let you out until well into the morning.”

I watched her swallow hard. But her