Recovery by Nicole Dykes (best time to read books .txt) 📗

you. I meant what I said, I love you.”

She smiles at that, gripping my wrist slightly, holding onto me. “I love you too. But I can’t see not letting you go. And I can’t go with you.”

I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I bring my lips to hers and kiss her softly, each second adding to my urgency as I lay her back on the bed.

I’m not letting her go, but we can discuss that later.

“Are you okay?”

I look across the table at Quinn, who’s sipping her coffee and eyeing me with so much concern I think my heart might shatter. I hate how much she cares about me. Our time as friends was really just a blip in time before we grew apart. Still, she cares.

“I’m happy for you and Logan.”

“Me too. For two kids who didn’t grow up with any real family, it just feels like the right thing now. Phillip and Gillian are amazing. Logan’s brother and sister are growing up fast.” She smiles sweetly at that, but there’s sadness there. “You can come too. You’ll always have a place with us. I think Rhys would be relieved.”

I cringe, thinking about Rhys and how pained he appeared when I showed up needing help. “I can’t go there.”

She sighs, taking another sip. I’m sure she already knew that would be my answer. I think Jase knew it to. We spent hours in bed last night, letting our bodies say everything our mouths refused to. I don’t want him to leave, but I know he needs to.

I’m sure he doesn’t want to leave me behind, but he can’t be away from his family.

That’s exactly what they are to him.

I look down at my phone that’s lighting up with a call. I glance at the caller ID and see a KC number. I silence it and look at Quinn. “I appreciate everything, Quinn.”

She shakes her head solemnly. “Don’t let your stubbornness win, Mya. I know you love Jase. He definitely loves you. Don’t end things.”

“I don’t have a choice. I don’t want the city life. But he needs you guys.”

She grabs my hand from across the table. “He needs you.”

I shake my head. “We just met.”

“You think I didn’t need Logan from the get-go?”

“He left you.”

He abandoned her and everyone else to move in with his dad. No explanation. “And I thought I was going to die from the pain of that. If you can be with the person you love, you should be. No matter what’s thrown your way.”

I take a drink of my latte. “I can’t.”

She squeezes my hand and lets it go. “Do you have enough saved? Do you need anything?”

I shake my head. “You’ve done more than enough.”

“I’ll gladly do more. I’m not leaving you here with nothing.”

And I know she won’t. “I have some money saved. I think I’m going to roll the dice and try to find a small town that has any job open. I just want out, Quinn. I want to feel safe.”

I think she’s careful with her next words. “Our fate isn’t up to us. Danger can find us anywhere.”

“For once, I have to feel like I have some sort of control over my destiny. I have to take myself out of the places I fear and do like you said, Quinn. Rise.”

She smiles at that and nods her head, looking almost proud. “You will, Mya. You will not only rise through the wreckage that tried to break you. You’ll soar.”

Grief threatens to take over, thinking about the wreckage of my life.

My mother, Trey, Charity. Now, what’s left after the tornado.

Jase is alive and well. I haven’t demolished him. But if I leave him, that’s exactly what it’ll do.

I don’t know how to get out of this without doing just that.

“Are you going?” I hold Mya’s hand in mine, loving the way it looks and the way it feels. Hers is much smaller, with silky dark skin. Mine is large, calloused with tattoos over the milky white, but they blend perfectly. Her fingers interlock in mine. I don’t want to lose this image.

But I don’t want it to only be a memory. I need it to be forever.

“I don’t want to.”

We’re lying in bed, both totally naked. But I can’t stop staring at our hands as I raise them in the air above us.

“But you should.”

“Why?”

“They’re your family.”

I pull our mingled hands to my chest, laying them over my heart. “And what are you?”

She doesn’t miss a beat, but I hear the sadness in her voice. “Just a broken girl you met a few months ago.”

“You know you’re much more than that to me.”

“I want to leave, Jase.” I turn to look at her, surprised, but then she clarifies. “The city. I can find a waitress job in a small town near here.”

I brush my free hand over her cheek. “I could go too.”

A tear wets my hand resting on her face. “You helped me talk about what happened to Trey. I’ll never be over that grief, but you helped me begin to cope. I owe you everything, and I can’t take you away from your family. But I can’t go back there.”

“I believe there’s more to us.”

“I think we’re caught up in the moment.”

She sits up, pulling her hand from mine, and I move behind her, both of us still seated on the bed. “Don’t do this. Don’t push me away.”

“I’m not.” Her head drops. “I can’t.”

“So, what now?” My hands rest on her bare shoulders.

“You leave tomorrow with them. We say goodbye or see you later or whatever we need to tell ourselves. And we go on.” I can’t see her face, but I sense she’s smiling through tears. “And we rise.”

My stomach clenches with intense pain, not wanting this to be over. “We could go higher together.”

She turns, her hand sliding over my cheek softly. “Trust me on this, I’ll only weigh you down.”

“That’s not true.”

She kisses my lips and