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all the time and he is blind to me. He couldn’t find me in a crowd at the mall - this is why he uses you. You think he’s all mighty and powerful? The truth is he is getting weaker by the day. I say - bring it on; I say - tell him I’m here waiting: I say - he’s nothing more than a coward!”

At this last statement the thing that held Joe’s body flinched and was so surprised by my demeanor he loosened his grip slightly. Slightly was all I needed to wrench my arm away, kick him hard in the chest and run like hell for the door. “Peanut, Fus!!”

Peanut was up, off of the floor, and sprinting alongside me to the truck. Déjà vu swept over me. We were screaming down the gravel driveway just as we had the last time we left Joe’s house. We were ten miles away before I let the speedometer slide below ninety mph. I watched my rear view mirror and saw nothing. I powered up my cell phone and heard it announce thirty-four unheard messages. I dialed Max’s number. He picked it up on the first ring.

“Lauren, please don’t hang up. I really need to see you. I am so sorry. I promise I won’t let anything happen to you. I just really need you.”

I ignored Max’s plea and forced out the words, “You need to go check on Joe. He’s hurt.”

“What did you see? Gramps is hurt? Was he attacked?” Max’s sorrow was quickly replaced by rage, and I knew Max was talking on the run. He had an old farm truck in his garage that he could use to get to Joe’s quickly.

As calmly as I could, I explained what had happened. Max was silent before he choked out, “You were there? You went to Gramps’ house? After what happened before? Why would you do that? Lauren, you could have been killed. Why wouldn’t you have come here? I would have gone with you.”

“Max, just get to Joe and make sure he’s okay. I am so sorry.” I hit the disconnect button and powered the phone off. Bile rose in my throat. I pulled over and stood there on the side of the road puking my guts out. I got back in the truck and closed my eyes, my familiar tunnel appeared, and I went to see Joe. He was, as I had imagined, lying on the floor. I knew in my heart I had killed him. I knew, no matter what else happened, I was responsible for his death. I laid my head on the steering wheel and cried. Not sad little tears, but huge powerful emotions draining from me, snot running freely, and I couldn’t breathe.

I shouldn’t have kicked him. I should have just waited for the Beast to come. It was all my fault. Max would never forgive me for this. Who was I kidding? I would never forgive me for this.

Chapter 18

I sat in the truck replaying what had happened. I closed my eyes and my tunnel appeared but I couldn’t bear to see Joe lying on the floor or Max kneeling over his body. I looked at the purse sitting beside me on the seat and was furious with myself. I had risked my and Joe’s life today and Joe paid the price, for what? My stupid purse.

He wasn’t going to die in vain. I was going to get my life back, starting right now.

*****

Three hours later I had emptied my bank account. There was over $18,000 I had squirreled away – most of it the result of being shot in my senior year of college. I was surprised and thankful my parents hadn’t raided it to cover medical expenses from my “Bear Attack.”

I bought a used Dodge Caravan, stocked up on non-perishable food items for myself, and got 30 pounds of dog food for Peanut. Once I was all set, I went to the library to surf the net, looking for a place to rent that was as remote as possible.

I found the perfect place, 20 miles off of the interstate, 50 acres of wooded area and a small cottage. I went to the post office and mailed Max his keys with a note. For such a simple note it took forever to write.

Dear Max,

I’m really sorry about Joe. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Your truck is in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot where we got groceries. I won’t let anything hurt you like this again.

Love, Lauren

I re-read the note several times. I knew this was it. I wouldn’t contact him again – not until I knew it was safe. I could feel that same hole in my chest beginning to open again, the emptiness I hadn’t felt since before Max walked back into my life. I silently embraced the pain because it was mine. I would gladly accept the pain knowing that this was a small price to pay to make sure Max stayed safe. I looked at the phone setting beside me and longed to dial Max. I didn’t.

*****

The rest of the day was enough of a whirlwind that it was easy to drown out the emptiness. I met the property manager at the remote furnished cottage, paid the first and last month’s rent and the security deposit, had the electricity turned on, and went to a Wal-Mart to buy all the things I needed for the house. Peanut had been in and out of the little house as if he were a hired sentry. He knew he was on guard and somehow understood it was just the two of us. The isolated place, despite its location, felt welcoming.

I remembered that I hadn’t locked the door to the Caravan and decided to go outside and lock it before it got dark. I opened the front door to go outside, instantly took two steps back on reflex, flailing my hands to the side,

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