Keep My Secrets by Elena Wilkes (large ebook reader .txt) 📗

no, that’s madness talking.’ Vanessa reached across the table and touched her elbow. ‘It’s not too late! You don’t have to choose that way. You’re really young, you’re really smart, you’re really—’

‘Martin has my heart,’ she said simply. ‘I gave it to him: all of it. I’m his now: for good or for bad, whatever happens.’

Vanessa studied her with a tight smile. ‘I know it feels like that right now. At your age all your emotions are so intense they overwhelm you. But as you get older, you’ll see things differently, I promise you. Martin Jarvis will become just a name.’

‘You don’t understand.’ Frankie lifted the mug and finished the remainder of the tea. ‘He won’t, you see. He never will. He’ll be in my life forever until the day I die.’

‘No, Frankie, please don’t say that. Please.’

She placed the mug gently down on the table.

‘He will. Because I’m having his baby.’

Chapter Eleven

Now

‘You’re not seriously going out?’

Alex looks at her as though she’s lost her mind.

Frankie squeezes her feet into her shoes and picks up her bag. ‘If I’m going to be disciplined then I need to look at Keeley’s file. I need to speak to Declan at the home and find out what’s been said. I don’t for a minute think that he made a complaint about me. He’s not that kind of guy.’

‘But that could be seen as interfering with the investigation process, and anyway you said you were scared – terrified, even. How can you go out? And I thought after the police and the note this morning… You honestly can’t take these kinds of chances.’

‘I’ve decided I’m not letting him ruin my life, Alex, even if I am bloody petrified. I’m not letting him do that.’

‘Then let me come with you. Let me drive you at least. I’ll sit outside in the car and wait. You said he was watching you, Frankie. It’s not safe.’ He looks around for his jacket. ‘Actually, I hope he does turn up.’ He snatches it up aggressively. ‘I want him to show himself so I can explain, in very clear terms, what being harassed and terrified really feels like.’ He pulls on one sleeve but Frankie grabs his hand.

‘Alex, don’t.’

‘Don’t what?’

‘I’m the regional manager, I don’t need to be chaperoned. I can’t be guarded twenty-four hours a day. I’m only going to the home and back. Twenty minutes each way, that’s all.’ She sees the look on his face. ‘Oh Alex, don’t look at me like that! – how about I ring you? Does that put your mind at rest? I’ll ring you when I get there and when I’m leaving, how about that?’

‘But you were—’

‘Seriously. It’s a promise. If I say I’m going to do it then I shall,’ she says definitely. ‘What’s the time now?’ She glances at her watch. ‘It’s ten forty-five. If I go now I’ll phone you in twenty-five mins, max.’ She leans forward to kiss him, but he pulls her into a hug and holds her close.

‘I’m scared for you, Frankie. I’m scared this bolshie-ness will make you take risks.’

‘I will be careful. I’ve said. I promise.’

He doesn’t look convinced. ‘Well, I’m going to ring the police station this morning and leave a message for Julia – tell her about the note on the car and ask her what she’s found out about Matthew Jarrow. I’m not having an arsehole like that dictating our lives.’ He bristles. ‘If the police won’t protect you, then I will.’ His jaw works angrily.

She’s instantly worried. ‘Hey, hey now, promise me you’re not going to do anything stupid.’ She looks closely into his face. ‘I need you by my side, not in some bloody police cell, do you understand?’

He nods defensively.

‘I’ll ring you when I said, right?’

He’s still standing on the doorstep watching her as she gets into the car. She lets out a long sigh of relief. Here feels like an oasis of privacy. She realises he hasn’t moved as she quickly dips to start the engine. Being with Alex feels like acting a part. She lifts a hand to wave before reversing off the drive, watching his outline getting smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror.

She’d already made the call to Declan while Alex was in the shower, to talk over what happened. She also told him that she might pop in for a chat later. That should cover it if anyone asks. Watching the road unfolding in front of her, she tries to quell the rising alarm at what she’s about to do. The desperation is moving as swiftly as the lies. There’s a black hole up ahead and a moving walkway that’s heading in one direction.

How will this all end?

Badly.

Who will be hurt the most?

The thought nearly paralyses her.

Checking the time, she slows down and begins to indicate, before pulling into a lay-by. She waits, and then makes the call to Alex.

‘Yep, it’s me. I’m there already. I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’ll ring you when I leave, okay?’ She keeps her voice steady and reassuring. He’s not happy but at least he’s not suspicious. She ends the call, hating herself, hating what she’s doing, but it feels like she has no choice. Her fingers plug in the phone number that she thought she’d never ring again. She rests her head back, staring up at the sky, amazed that it’s trying to connect. Her heart is making the connections too: squeezing with nerves and an appalling, shaky, hope. She closes her eyes as a voice answers.

Her mouth opens but no sound comes out.

‘Hello?’

The shock of the voice on the other end is like electricity.

‘Hello?’ it says again.

So many years.

‘Vanessa, it… it’s Frankie,’ she stammers. ‘You still have the same number… I was scared you’d changed it and I wouldn’t find you.’

It’s a ridiculous thing to say. She cringes.

There’s a silence on the end. Then: ‘What do you want, Frankie?’

‘Can I see her? Please. I wouldn’t’ ask, but—’ She breaks off.

There’s