i f6c06dd9cf3fe221 by Unknown (100 books to read in a lifetime .txt) 📗

the corner ... you understand? You must keep out of his way.... If you can't avoid him, then you must tell him ... well, tell him you are going a message, or you've got to hurry home. But you mustn't wait about for him. Now promise me you'll do as I tell you."

No amount of blinking would keep the scalding tears from falling, or quick swallowing dislodge the lump that was choking her; nothing that could ever happen could be as bad as this. Not to see the doctor again, not to sit beside him on the beautiful leather seat in the front of the car and see him laughing down at her, and to watch his long brown hands coming forward to lift her down, and the thrill as he whirled her though the air . or not to stand at the corner and see him wave to her, when he couldn't stop . not to do any of these things, never, never again. "Answer me, dear."

Annie tried to speak, but couldn't. Kate suddenly pulled her to her breast and held her dose: "There, there, my dear, don't cry like that.

Stop now! "

Sarah, too, had her apron to her eyes when the front- door knocker banged once. In answer to Kate's startled glance, she said, "It's all right, hinny, it'll be the insurance man, that's his knock."

"You won't ask him in?" said Kate.

"No, hinny."

Sarah took some coppers from a cup in the corner of the cupboard and a book out of the chiffonier, and went through the front-room.

"Come on, dear," said Kate to Annie, 'dry your eyes. We'll still go to Newcastle and. " She got no further, the blood slowly mounting to her face as shd heard the voice at the front-door speaking to her mother.... Surely she wouldn't let him in.... He was in, in the front-room. She pushed Annie, who was staring, as if petrified, towards the door, to one side, and in the matter of seconds she made and reversed a decision ... to escape upstairs; no, to see him and finish this thing once and for all. As the strands of the web are like steel bands to the fly so she felt the fine-woven strands of circumstance holding her to this fate, of which she would be free, for she saw nothing but disaster for all concerned and the fulfilling of the prophecies of the women of the fifteen streets.... She would put an end to it and stop their evil tongues, and still for ever the desire that was eating into her. In that minute she realised how this could be accomplished. The decision surprised her, for she had scorned it before today. But she saw it now as the only way out of this enveloping tangle. She felt it was inevitable; these things had to happen; life was planned; do all you could, learn, try to be different, you were brought back to the path that was set for you the day you were born.... And, if you happened to have made a mistake as she had done, you were dragged back. But anything was better than following the dictates of her heart.... Goodbye to Mr. Bernard, and Mr. Rex, and Miss Tolmache ... but, oh, goodbye to Mr. Bernard and evenings of strange delight! ... Why should she be called upon to do this? Why had he come into her life, when he could have no part in it?

And now she had to give up all she valued because of him. Hostility welled up in her, but died as she met his eyes as he stood in the doorway, looking at her. Why must he look at her like that? He had no right to do it. She felt suddenly weak and sick. Oh, God, why had he come? He, too, playing into their hands.

"Hullo, there, Kate," he said.

"Happy Christmas."

"Hallo, doctor," she answered quietly.

He walked to the table and put down a long box he had under his arm, ignoring Annie as he did so, although he could see her standing dose to the wall in the dim corner of the kitchen. He also ignored the fact, but for a different reason, that the three of them had been crying and that the atmosphere was strained.

"A certain young lady had an appointment with me at eleven-thirty this morning.

Rate," he said, 'but she failed to put in an appearance, although she knew I had been to see Santa Claus last night, and that I would have a message for her, if not a present, from him.... This is the first time this young lady has let me down; I thought she must be ill."

A strangled sob came from the corner. He looked towards Annie and back to Kate again.

"Is anything wrong, Kate?"

Kate didn't answer him but turned to Annie: "Go upstairs, dear," she said.

Annie, her eyes lingering on Rodney, stood as if she hadn't heard.

"Annie 1' said Kate again, sharply.

Annie turned away and made a dash for the stair door, fumbled blindly with the latch, then ran upstairs. They heard her footsteps overhead before speaking, and then it was Rodney again who asked.

"What is wrong with her, Kate?"

"She is getting out of hand; I'm afraid she's being spoilt."

He laughed.

"You're always saying she's being spoilt. It's nonsense, you couldn't spoil Annie ... no more than you could spoil..." He had been going to add 'you', but withheld it and let his eyes speak for him.

"She needs control," went on Kate hastily; her hands were joined together, the knuckles showing white.

"She can't get used to the idea of having ... a father!"

Rodney's exclamation of "A father!" covered Sarah's gasp of amazement.

"Yes, she doesn't like the idea of me getting married." There, it was out; it