Already Gone (A Laura Frost FBI Suspense Thriller—Book 1) by Blake Pierce (notion reading list .txt) 📗

And then the rest of it would pile inafterward: the knowledge that she couldn’t save anyone right now. The shadow ofdeath hanging over Nate, which hadn’t given her a vision. Which might not giveher a vision for months.

And from there, onward to Amy, littleAmy trapped with her father and in need of help. Maybe in need of help evennow. Laura would remember what she had seen and the sickness would roil in herstomach again, and she would wonder what the hell she was doing here in Albanyinstead of back in DC trying to make sure none of it ever happened.

Because no matter which way she turned,Laura was needed. She had to do something to stop all of these awful thingsfrom happening, because she was the only one who knew that they would. But shecouldn’t keep all of these plates spinning in the air. She couldn’t reportcrimes that hadn’t yet happened, and she couldn’t be everywhere at once.

She had to choose who to help, and when.

Laura felt something at the bottom ofher pocket and pulled it out. She hadn’t worn the jacket during the warm daysof summer, and it was only in flying out here that she’d pulled it out of thecloset; she couldn’t even remember when the last time she wore it would havebeen. Looking at the disc between her fingers, Laura realized what it was: asixty-day chip.

She’d only ever made it to the fullsixty days once, so it wasn’t hard to recall when she’d put it there. And then,like every other time, she’d fallen off the wagon.

She could do with falling off the wagonright now.

How else was she supposed to cope withthis awful knowledge, these terribly images that kept flashing behind hereyelids, than having a drink? If she went to a bar right now, she could ordersomething cheap and strong and feel the burn as it slid down her throat. Beforelong, she would forget about the visions, forget about the people who neededher. She didn’t get visions at all when she was drunk either. It drowned everythingout. She needed to drown everything out.

But Laura only spurred herself to walkfaster as she dug her cell phone out of the other pocket. She hit the speeddial—the one number she would need the most in emergency situations—and waitedfor it to connect.

“Laura,” he said, answering the call. “Thisis late, even for you. It’s past midnight already.”

Laura took a deep breath. “I know,” shesaid. “I’m sorry, Garth. I just needed you to talk me down.”

He chuckled. “Well, that’s what I’m herefor.”

It was true. Garth Rupertson was Laura’sAA sponsor; they’d met when she first starting going to meetings and hit itoff, although it wasn’t as though Laura had been to a lot of them lately. Shevacillated between being too ashamed to show her face and admit she’d beendrinking again, too busy with a case, and too overconfident that this time shewas going to stay sober without help. Garth was always there for her in themoments between, when she was able to accept she still needed a hand—and toreach out for one.

“I’ve been out walking for half an hour,”she said, partly to explain why she was breathing a little faster than normal. “Ican’t stop thinking about how much easier everything would be if I just wentout and had a drink.”

“Would it?” Garth asked. He had a hintof amusement in his voice. “Will it be easier to deal with everything you’redoing right now, as well as a hangover? Will it be easier to work if you can’twalk in a straight line or remember anything you did for the past twenty-fourhours?”

“No,” Laura admitted, but Garth wasn’teven done.

“Will you find things easier to dealwith when you’ve lost your job because you were drunk on duty? You are on duty,right?”

“I’m working a case in Albany,” Lauraadmitted. She wrapped her free arm around herself against the night’s chill. “No,it wouldn’t make things easier. Not in the long run. I know.”

“What are you dealing with right now?”Garth asked, then continued before she could interrupt to fob him off. “Now, Iknow you can’t tell me the details of an active case. Just in general, Laura.Are you feeling overwhelmed?”

“Yes,” she said. “There’s so muchpressure. Right now, I’m the only one who can do anything about this—thisdanger. If I don’t stop the person we’re chasing down, then people will die.”

“Now, that’s not quite right,” Garthsaid. “I know it isn’t. You’ve told me before you have that wonderful partnerof yours. The one who doesn’t judge you for your past mistakes, isn’t that him?And he’s a good agent, too, the way you tell it. You’re saying he doesn’t shareany responsibility at all for doing this work?”

“Of course he does,” Laura said, closingher eyes for a moment before refocusing on the sidewalk. There were so manytimes in her life when it would be so much easier if people understood whereshe was coming from. Saw that she really was the only person who could do whatshe could do. “It’s just—the pressure is still on. We have different leads tofollow, and if I don’t get mine right, this guy ends up walking free forlonger.”

That, at least, was close enough to thetruth.

“So, you’ve got to do your job right,and you will,” Garth replied, his voice steady and reasonable. “But stopdiscounting your partner. He’s got his part to play as well. And if you make amistake, that’s what he’s there for—to catch it.”

“I get it,” Laura said, and sighed. Inspite of the fact that she wanted to argue, Garth was right. Nate was a goodagent. If she didn’t get a lucky break with a vision, that didn’t mean theywould never solve the case. He was just as capable at chasing down a lead asshe was.

Now, anyway. While he was still here.Laura shuddered, remembering that aura of death that surrounded him and huggingherself tighter.

“You don’t sound convinced, Laura,”Garth said. “Talk to me.”

“I just want a drink,” she said, hervoice cracking. “I know there are so many reasons not to. But it’s not…”

“Not logical. I know.” Garth