Love, Honor, and Betray by Roby, Lawson (best ebook for manga .TXT) 📗

Curtis leaned back in his chair, thinking about a number of things, mostly stuff he wasn’t proud of. For one, he replayedthe way he’d just scanned Raven’s body from head to toe as she’d turned and walked out of the conference room and how he’dthen imagined what it might feel like to be in bed with her. The temptation was killing him, and between her and this Sharonwoman, he could barely think straight. He knew he was wrong, but he was also human, and humans just weren’t perfect. They had flaws.They were blemished, and even Romans 3:23 talked about all human beings committing sins and falling short of the glory ofGod. It was just the way things were, and there was no getting around it. Curtis didn’t want to fall short, but suddenly,he was having a hard time trying to do the right thing. He was starting to feel that he was fighting a losing battle and thatit wouldn’t be long before he lost control. He’d been trying to talk to himself daily, but for some reason he wasn’t gettingthrough to himself, and sadly, all the praying he’d been doing didn’t seem to be helping. But then he thought back to Romans7 again. He’d focused on verses fourteen through seventeen the other night, but this morning he’d read verses eighteen throughtwenty, which repeated much of the earlier passage but still made a lot of sense. “I know I am rotten through and throughso far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t.When I want to do good, I don’t. And when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway. But if I am doing what I don’t want to do,I am not really the one doing it; the sin within me is doing it.”

So maybe his lustful desires couldn’t be helped after all. Maybe committing certain sins was his destiny, and there wasn’ta thing that could be done to change it. He didn’t want to believe that, but he also didn’t see any other reasonable explanations.Maybe some people just weren’t meant to walk the straight and narrow. No matter how hard they tried. Maybe some people weresimply meant to wreak havoc and cause heartache—for themselves as well as those around them.

Curtis closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He was so tired of feeling this way. Tired of teetering back and forth and tryingto do God’s will when there was this nagging, immoral part of him wanting to do otherwise. He was exhausted from all the fightinginside of him and ready to succumb—to whatever his fate might be. And he would, unless something or someone stopped him.

Chapter 26

It was shortly after eleven o’clock. Now that Curtis was back in his office, he flipped through the file of the couple he’dbe meeting with in a few minutes. Bruce Betts and Stephanie Moss had been members of Deliverance Outreach for a little overa year and had set their wedding date for October. That was eight months away, but they’d decided to schedule their firstpre-marital counseling session for today. Actually, Curtis preferred that couples come in as soon as possible, so this wasa good thing.

In the meantime, though, he thought about Curtina and decided to call Aunt Emma to check on her.

“So, how’s my little princess doing?” he asked.

“Just fine. She played all morning, and now she’s taking a nap. She’ll be up in a while, though, and I’ll give her some lunch.She’s such a good little girl, and just a joy to have around.”

“I’m glad you feel that way, Aunt Emma. Glad you don’t mind keeping her for me.”

“Not at all. I told you that from the beginning, and actually, I look forward to when you drop her off every morning. ThenI miss her on the weekends.”

“She is a good kid, and I just wish Charlotte could see what you and I do. I wish she would rethink how she feels about Curtina.”

“Maybe in due time,” she said.

“I hope so. Because things aren’t good between us. They’re worse than ever.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Curtis. I thought maybe once Charlotte got away for the weekend, she would feel a lot better aboutthings when she was back home.”

“I was hoping that, too, but nothing has changed.”

“Has she said anything to you at all about Curtina?”

“No. I’ve been cordial to her, and she’s been pretty cordial to me, but that’s pretty much it.”

“Cordial isn’t good for either one of you because my experience is that when husbands and wives become cordial, they’re leaningtoward the idea of giving up. They’re deciding that the whole marriage is a lost cause and that they might as well just acceptit.”

Curtis didn’t comment because he knew she was right. Before Charlotte had left he’d been furious with her, but now he didn’tfeel as angry, and he was relieved not to be arguing with her anymore. He was happy to have at least some peace in his household,and, yes, was on his way to accepting things as they were.

Curtis finally spoke. “Even three months ago, I wouldn’t have expected our lives to be like this. I knew we had problems,and I knew Charlotte wasn’t thrilled about Curtina being around, but not ever did I think we’d be at some sort of standstillwith neither of us willing to budge.”

“Well, it’s not like you really have that much room to budge, because there’s no way you can kick your own child out of yourhouse. And Charlotte shouldn’t even expect that.”

“But she does. She expects me to send Curtina to live with one of Tabitha’s family members and just forget she ever existed.”

“And she really doesn’t see that you could have said the exact same thing about Marissa? I know you’ve told me that before,but I just have to ask again, because it doesn’t make any sense.”

“No. She doesn’t see that as being the same. She says it’s different and