Higher Ground by Becky Black (notion reading list txt) 📗

“Maybe. It’s hard for people to take things on faith, and that’s what I’ve had to ask them to do. To trust my judgment.”

“Ann backs you, remember. They’re trusting her too.”

“It’s not her they’re going to with every question.”

Adam nodded. “Yes, seen that. Making you nervous?”

“I didn’t realize they’d expect me to lead them this way. There are better qualified people right here with us.” His voice rose, then quieted. The lights were going off in the tents around the site. Voices silencing. A child’s voice sounded aloud here and there, but adults probably spoke more quietly, aware of the proximity of so many others.

“It’s not about who’s qualified,” Adam said. “You’re the prophet of this tribe, and they’re following you into the wilderness.” He grinned. “Maybe I should start calling you Moses.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

“Okay, but if they start making a golden calf, things might have got out of hand.” He sipped his coffee for a while. A dog wandered over and sat down to enjoy the warmth of the fire. A retriever, its long silky fur made into gold by the firelight. Golden dog, Adam thought on the heels of the golden calf idea. A baby cried for a couple of minutes, then went quiet again.

“Tribe,” Zach said, breaking a long silence. “Is that what we are?”

“It’s what you made us.”

“I did? When?”

“At the meeting.” Adam rubbed his forehead, gathering his thoughts. Zach watched him curiously. He must not realize the effect he’d had on people up on stage in the dome. “It was when you told everyone to bring a big pack because eventually we’ll have to carry the children.” He didn’t add that from then on he’d have followed Zach wherever he led. He didn’t say it because actions speak louder. He’d climb to the peak with Zach.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Zach still appeared puzzled. “That seems an obvious point.”

“It’s the way you said it.” Adam sat up from his lounging position, put aside his coffee mug. “You didn’t say ‘you’ will have to carry ‘your’ children. You said ‘we.’ You made it everyone’s responsibility, not only something the parents had to think about themselves. That made us a group, all in it together and all one family. One tribe.”

He shook himself. Such a fanciful idea, but he couldn’t shake it.

“I didn’t think it through consciously like that,” Zach said. “Perhaps you’re right. It’s definitely a burden we should all share. There are more adults than children, and it would be harsh to expect someone to carry their child all day when other people can take a turn. It seemed the obvious practical solution.”

And in being practical, he’d been principled. I’ll follow him anywhere. Stand at his side and give him whatever he needs. Adam kissed him, an act driven by his own needs perhaps, but Zach seemed to appreciate it too. He stroked Adam’s hair, pulling his head closer.

A long, slow, gentle kiss. The kind of kiss Adam lived for. The kind of taking-it-easy kiss that told him he and his guy had all the time in the world. No rushing to come and go. The rest of the camp faded until there was only him and Zach and the soft night breeze. Only the touch of Zach’s hand and lips, the warmth of him.

When they broke apart, an hour might have passed, or no more than a minute.

“Now that was what I call a distraction,” Adam said. Zach didn’t speak, just leaned his forehead against Adam’s.

He spoke in barely a whisper. “I’m frightened, Adam. I keep it buried, but I’m so frightened.”

Because he knows he’s right, Adam thought. All these people are relying on him to keep them alive. He must be so afraid he’ll let them down.

“It’s okay. You aren’t alone. Me. Ann, Dr. Howie, Barbara, the Franes. Me. Oh and did I mention, me?”

The joke produced a smile, and then Zach took a deep breath and straightened up. “All that has made me thirsty. I’m going to fetch some water. Do you want some?”

“Yes, thanks.” When Zach went to get the water, Adam caught the eye of the dog sitting by the fire, watching him with a speculative expression. Either wondering about all the kissing stuff or hoping Adam had some food in his pockets.

“Sorry, friend. But if you keep watch while I distract Zach, I’ll find you a whole stack of cookies later.”

Zach came back with the water. “Who are you talking to?”

“Someone who can keep a secret.” Adam winked at the dog before leaning in to distract Zach again.

Chapter Thirteen

Zach had no trouble staying awake. Hard to get sleepy with another man’s tongue in your mouth. They sat on the grass, locked in each other’s arms, breaking apart to talk a little sometimes. Nonsense words, teasing about what they’d do to each other later. Sometimes they didn’t talk but nuzzled each other’s necks, ears, faces.

Only the knowledge they were surrounded by other people kept them from going further. At first it frustrated Zach, as arousal he couldn’t satisfy for two hours yet sent heat surging through him, making him sweat, making him blush. But after a while, he calmed down and started to appreciate the kissing for its own sake. He learned enough about the shape of Adam’s ears that if needed he would later be able to identify them while blindfolded, using only his lips.

The sound of someone moving around about twenty minutes into their watch made Zach pull away with a gasp. A sleepy-looking guy passed close to them with a muttered greeting. Zach glanced at Adam and saw that he wore the most amazing fake innocent expression. He looked like a man who’d been doing nothing more naughty out here than saying prayers. He didn’t even looked flushed, whereas Zach knew his own cheeks were boiling, and his lips felt swollen. Anyone old enough to understand these things would know how they’d been passing the time.

Adam petted the