Fireside by Susan Wiggs (pdf e book reader txt) 📗

AJ again, and the uncertainty he faced. And Bo himself, picking up a suddenly motherless son he’d never met. “I’m all right,” she said.

“Maybe one of these days, you could tell me about yourself. We’ll have to get to know each other.”

No, we won’t, she thought, dangerously attracted to the smile that seemed to hover on his lips, even when he spoke of troubling matters.

Daisy Bellamy was late again. Even though Charlie was a year and a half old, she still hadn’t mastered the art of coordinating everything she needed and getting out the door on time, even for a simple trip up to Camp Kioga for a family gathering. No matter how far in advance she started getting ready, something always delayed her. This evening, she had everything all planned out—Charlie’s outfit, his bag of gear, her camera bag—but just as she was heading out the door, Charlie found an old Oreo cookie somewhere. By the time she caught him, he was wearing a dark-chocolate grin and a massive smear of damp cookie all over the front of his sweater.

“Oh, Charlie,” she said. “That’s the sweater your grandma O’Donnell made for you, and she’s going to be there tonight.” His paternal grandparents had made a special trip up from Long Island just to see him. Daisy grabbed a sponge and tried to clean the sweater, but her efforts only made it worse. Charlie babbled good-naturedly at her and grabbed the front of her shirt with a grubby hand, managing to soil her, as well.

“That’s right,” she said through gritted teeth. “All dirty.” She took off the sweater over his head, managing to smear more wet cookie on his face and hair. Barely holding on to her patience, she wiped him off as best she could, washed her hands and found clean shirts for both of them. So much for dressing up for the party. Or for being on time.

“This is not what my life was supposed to be,” she said, hurrying out to the car before anything else happened.

“No,” he agreed, using his favorite word.

“At least we agree on something. I swear, Charlie, sometimes…” She didn’t let herself finish. Even though he was too little to understand, she didn’t want him to hear her complain. She buckled him into his car seat and headed north along the lake road, toward Camp Kioga. At times like this, the reality of her life felt like too much. She had her photography work. And Charlie. And school. And Charlie. Always Charlie. He was everything to her, and her love for him was almost frightening in its intensity, but the responsibilities were relentless and never-ending. Charlie got up at the crack of dawn, without fail, and once her day got started, there was no downtime. Never, not once, had she deluded herself that being a single mother was going to be easy. Sometimes she wished she could curl up in a ball and escape, just for a while. With an active toddler, that wasn’t an option.

She shook off her sour mood by focusing on the stark beauty of the twilight. Trees bowed with the weight of fresh snow over the road, creating a tunnel effect. As she rounded a curve, her headlamps illuminated the vast, snow-covered surface of the lake. The dashboard clock indicated that she was only twenty minutes late. Not too bad.

Her cousin Olivia, and Olivia’s husband, Connor, had transformed Camp Kioga, a rustic retreat that had been in her family for generations, into a year-round resort. Olivia and Connor were hosting a farewell celebration for Connor’s brother, Julian Gastineaux. Julian was headed to South Carolina for special ROTC training. He told people he’d signed up for Reserve Officer Training in order to finance his education. Daisy knew there was another reason. Julian also loved the rush of doing dangerous things—parachute training, marksmanship, field maneuvers. He was actually entertained by the notion of staying up all night in the wilderness, training for sniper combat.

Everything about Julian Gastineaux fascinated Daisy, and had for a long time. She’d been half in love with him since the first summer they’d met a few years back. But only half. The other half had done crazy things, like sleeping with another boy, getting pregnant, having a baby out of wedlock. Sometimes she thought Julian wanted to love her back, but she wouldn’t let him. He was on the verge of living his own dream, and she wasn’t a part of that. There wasn’t much point in dreaming. Julian was on a path that included college and a military career, a path that led far away from her.

The road leading in was newly plowed and well lit. She parked, shouldered all her gear and got Charlie out of his seat. He insisted on waddling in his tiny boots to the main lodge, so it took a good five minutes to get inside. With a toddler, everything took ten times longer than normal. She considered herself a patient person, but sometimes she couldn’t help murmuring, “Come on, already…” under her breath.

She arrived to find the party already in full swing, the air alive with music and conversation. Tables were laden with a buffet. The roaring hearth crackled with burning logs, gilding everything with an amber glow. Daisy set down her things and left their coats on a rack by the door. She saw her cousin Jenny and Jenny’s husband, Rourke, but they didn’t see her. They were holding hands and talking. Jenny’s very pregnant form was outlined in the firelight. Daisy felt a twinge of envy. The two of them were having a baby the right way—together. Partners, who would support each other through the scary, exciting birth, the night feedings and unending laundry. They’d share the moments Daisy had experienced alone—their child’s first smile, his first tooth, his first wobbly steps. And she didn’t begrudge them these things. But sometimes she wanted that so much that it felt like a physical ache.

Hearty laughter erupted over at the