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spread out on the desk in front of her, she beamed seeing herself featuring in the article’s main photograph along with the rest of the football team, their manager and wives/girlfriends.

Suddenly a small frown appeared on her otherwise crease-free brow. Damn. Stunning as usual, but that purple bandage dress had showcased the padding. She couldn’t remember taking her jacket off during the evening. How had she been so careless?

A photograph more than worthy of inclusion in the ever-growing album of her posed with celebrities, pop stars and household names – she’d spoilt by being slack with her camera angles. If it hadn’t been for that it would have been her most favourite picture yet, but all she could now see was that she looked a right fat fuck.

Lena peered closer and inwardly shrugged. She couldn’t have it both ways. Ok, so the kitchen roll bump may have spoilt her photo collection, but the fast approaching end result would be more than worth it. From now on she’d have to be strict with keeping her jacket on during photo opportunities because the only lasting reminder of this whole charade she wanted was her wedding certificate and the following bank balance.

Smacking her glossy lips together in satisfaction, Lena pulled her phone from her bag and scrolled down to Uncle Ron’s number, quickly tapping out a text:

Get a copy of this weeks’ OK Mag. I’m on p9. Spot anything different about me?

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