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the brothers to hold him there.  Not so much ā€˜cause he was strong as he was scared.  He had good reason to be.  These five fuckersā€™d really do him a number.  Theyā€™d already pulled his pants anā€™ boxers down to his knees.  They mustā€™ve shoved somethinā€™ in his mouth, because his yellinā€™ was muffled; the machines drowned out what little you could hear.

Shamar slapped me on the back anā€™ said, ā€œGentlemen, we got a guest.  Anā€™ as a truly gracious host, Iā€™ve offered him first crack at the crack.ā€

The brothers laughed anā€™ one of them smacked the dudeā€™s ass, hard.  He kept yellinā€™ anā€™ kept strugglinā€™ but it kept doinā€™ him no damn good.

Shamar leaned against the wall, to catch a better view, it looked like.  ā€œUse expectorate to lubricate.ā€

ā€œWhat?ā€ I asked.

ā€œSpit.ā€

ā€œDo this a lot, huh?ā€

ā€œI gotta answer that?ā€

I shook my head, unzipped my fly -- leavinā€™ the belt nice anā€™ tight, just to be safe -- whipped it out anā€™ whipped it up anā€™ helped myself to the offerinā€™.  The guy yelled anā€™ squirmed, but with five men on him, he couldnā€™t do shit.

It wasnā€™t bad, beinā€™ inside him, but I had to put my mind into overdrive to pull Connie into my line of sight.  Anā€™ it never got past the point of fantasy, yā€™know?  Like I was fuckinā€™ my right hand -- no, more like fuckinā€™ a pillow.  Anā€™ when I was done, I wiped off anā€™ packed away anā€™ shrugged.

ā€œNot bad, but not for me, man.ā€

ā€œItā€™s cool, Curt,ā€ said Shamar.  ā€œAt least you ainā€™t no virgin, no more.  Thanks for looseninā€™ him up for me.ā€  Then he showed me his dick anā€™ all I could think was ā€œouch.ā€

I went back to work as they got busy.  Anā€™ I tucked it away as somethinā€™ tried but not my thing.  Not till that rich-bitch kid in my cell.

But ya know -- anā€™ this is the first time I really put two anā€™ two together -- I figure that first fuck mayā€™ve opened the door to the second one.  Anā€™ that lead to later ones anā€™ straight to where I was now.  I mean, you got a need?  You gotta find some way to fill it.  Like ā€œBā€ follows ā€œAā€ anā€™ ā€œCā€ follows ā€œBā€.  Anā€™ maybe you find out what you fill that need with now is better than what you used to fill it with then.

If that makes any sense.

Aw, shit, I was so fuckinā€™ confused.  So fucked up.  Iā€™d been so busy planninā€™ this whole operation with Wayne anā€™ fightinā€™ with Connie anā€™ barely makinā€™ a buck anā€™ a half off those dykes I worked for anā€™ thinkinā€™ ā€˜bout what I could do when I got that car anā€™ the cash, I hadnā€™t really thought about what it all meant to me.  This.  What this was doinā€™ to me.  But now, in a blindinā€™ flash, I had one of those rare moments where I was able to see just how completely, totally anā€™ absolutely Iā€™d fucked up my life.  Startinā€™ with the drugs, goinā€™ through my first rape right up to goinā€™ after Shayes.  Anā€™ it made me sick to my stomach.  I kept tryinā€™ to convince myself that it wasnā€™t too late to stop this train wreck I suddenly saw cominā€™.  But it was.  It was.

I finished the beer anā€™ popped another.  I was startinā€™ to feel a bit better.  Physically.  Anā€™ my mind was easinā€™ back into a blank; thatā€™s my safety zone.  The beer was beginninā€™ to give me a buzz -- unusual for me after just two.

Thatā€™s when I remembered I was still wearinā€™ my ski mask, so I wiped it off anā€™ rubbed my face.  The little sugar ants were retreatinā€™.  I was finally able to look around anā€™ notice the sky was gettinā€™ cloudy anā€™ a cool wind was pickinā€™ up.  Maybe some rain cominā€™ with it.  Typical June weather; hot one day, wet as shit the next.  But I love the rain.  Itā€™s clean.  Almost makes me feel clean.

I could just hear somethinā€™ fall over inside the shed.  Wayne anā€™ Lenny mustā€™ve already started havinā€™ fun.  Anā€™ it sounded like the foam was workinā€™ on the walls, since I couldnā€™t really hear anything else above the a-c.

I pushed off from the post anā€™ wandered ā€˜round the yard.  I was back to beinā€™ numb.  Back to not thinkinā€™.  Back to not feelinā€™ anything about it, one way or the other.  I couldnā€™t have gotten my dick up, right then, but I wasnā€™t about to freak, anymore.  Whatā€™s done is done, Curt, olā€™ buddy; make the best of it.

Then the shedā€™s door blew open anā€™ Shayes came barrelinā€™ out anā€™ slammed headlong into me!  We crashed to the little bit of grass anā€™ whipped against the fence, anā€™ suddenly he was screaming, ā€œPolice!  Help me!ā€ at the top of his lungs!

I acted from instinct.  I scrambled on top of him anā€™ rammed my arm against his throat, but he blocked me with his own arms!  His wrists were still strapped together but they were in front of him!  Then he slammed my jaw with his two hands!

We rolled away from the fence anā€™ I grabbed him ā€˜round the chest!  He kicked anā€™ tried to flip me away, still screaminā€™ for help, but I had a lock on him, had his arms back to beinā€™ useless!  Then Lenny anā€™ Wayne appeared, anā€™ each of them grabbed one of Shayeā€™s legs anā€™ held on with all their might!  That gave me a chance to push my way to behind him anā€™ muffle his screams with my left arm as I held his arms tight to his chest with my right, usinā€™ every ounce of strength I had to keep control of him!  If his hands hadnā€™t been still tied, heā€™d have gotten away.  We struggled to our feet -- Shayes still fightinā€™

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