Lovestruck Summer by Melissa Walker (the best motivational books TXT) 📗

223 “I’m the sorority girl who is completely one- dimensional,”she says. “I was half kidding,”I say. “Yeah . . . half,”says Penny, looking back down at her blank board. “You know, I think Russ was right about you.”“What do you mean?”I ask, defenses up immediately. Can I spend one second not thinking about him? “He told me when you fi rst got here that he thought you wouldn’t hang out with us much because you’d be afraid of how it looked,”she says. “Why would he say that?”I ask. “I guess he had a hunch after our fi rst night at Shady Grove,”she says. “You can be a little prickly sometimes, Quinn.”“Was that because I said I didn’t like coun- try music?”I ask. “Well, soooorry.”But even as my instinct is to react like this—defensively—it doesn’t feel right. Penny’s not trying to insult me, she’s trying to tell me something. And I recognize that she’s not all wrong, that I do have my own preconceptions about sorority girls and boys in big buckles. Not to mention fl oppy-haired DJs.

224 Penny frowns. She starts to make glue swirls on her poster board, presumably for glitter to stick to later. I think back to the time I’ve spent with Chrissy, who completely surprised me with her roller derby action, and who is so genuinely herself in a way that most people aren’t. I remem- ber how excited Penny was when she fi rst picked me up at the airport. Okay, her excitement scared me a little (as did her bright white teeth), but it was real. And then I think about how eager my cousin was to console me after Russ left me cold. I’m acting like an ass. “Penny,”I say, “I’m sorry.”“You are?”she asks, pausing in midair with a glitter shaker in her hand. “I am,”I say. “Why are you sorry?”she asks, being coy. She wants me to acknowledge some wrongs. “Well . . .”I say, not really wanting to admit to specifi cs. “I guess I have kind of been assum- ing things about you.”Penny doesn’t look up from her glitter sprink- ling, but she nods in agreement. “Like I immediately thought you would be annoying and superfi cial and have bad taste in

225 music,”I say. “I pretty much assessed that in the fi rst second of seeing you again after two years.”“Hey!”shouts Penny, shaking the blue glit- ter at me. I watch it sparkle softly in the air, fl oating onto the table. “I’m not saying I was right,”I say. “Well, except for the music part. Your CDs are awful!”Penny looks up at me and laughs. I know I could stop there—that I’m back in my cousin’s good graces—but I want to earn that position, so I say what’s at the heart of the thing I’ve been dancing around. “I haven’t given you much of a chance to show me who you really are. Penny, you are not a stereotype.”“I’m not?”she asks. “You have a cross-dressing dog!”I say. “If that isn’t defying the norm, I don’t know what is.”“I’m just trying to keep Austin weird,”Penny says, reciting the slogan that’s on every other bumper sticker around this town. She smiles at me. “You’re doing it,”I say, “in the best pos- sible way.”

226 “Thanks, Quinn.”Penny picks up a bright purple marker and starts drawing the Tri-Pi let- ters. Then she pauses. “I think you being here makes Austin even weirder. And I know you secretly like The Bachelor and are completely in love with Russ.”She laughs like she’s kind of kidding as she looks up at me. I smile at my cousin, and then I feel a tear run down my cheek. It’s like when it rains but the sun’s still out—completely confusing. I stare hard at the blue glitter, trying to hold in the tears I’ve been fi ghting for days now. “What is it?”asks Penny, reaching out to give me a hug. And with her arms around me, warm and caring, I let the fl oodgates go. I start rambling as I snot on her shoulder. “Sorry,”I say, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “It’s okay,”says Penny. She stands up and hands me a tissue from the kitchen island. “Is this because of that Sebastian guy?”she asks. “Sort of,”I say.

227 “Did he take advantage of you?”she asks. “Because if he did I will kick his butt from here to Pluto!”She’s holding her glue in the air and waving it around like a samurai sword. “No, no,”I say. “Did you see us the other morn- ing? Did it look like he was taking advantage?”“It looked cute,”she says, slowing down her glue weaponry display. “You guys were, like, ensnared.”“We were tangled,”I say. “And it was just what I wanted. It’s like this dream for me because I have the perfect summer fl ing right in front of me.”“Then why are you crying?”asks Penny. “I don’t know,”I say. I’m lying, but I’m also not ready to say it out loud. I do know what’s making me feel full of regret. And he lives next door. After an hour helping Penny with the Rush signs, which I insist need to have some skull stickers and a black outline around the letters’edges, if only to cut the sweetness of Penny’s bright pink bubble-heart drawings, I head upstairs and dial Raina.

228 “Hey,”I say. “Hey!”she says. “Did you get on Facebook to see Eddie yet? What do you think?”“I haven’t been on in a few days,”I say. “I just called to apologize.”“Oh,”says Raina. “Why?”“I lied when I said I had to go the other day,”I say. “I was feeling this major rush of jealousy.”“Really?”says Raina, sounding fully sur- prised. “Yeah,”I say. “And I know why. It’s because you have the guts to be with a guy you like, even though he’s kind of a dork and not what you thought was your Supreme.”“I never had a Supreme, Quinn,”says Raina. “That was you, setting your expectations high as always.”“What?”I ask. “Do I do that?”“Of course!”says Raina. “Remember