He Who Gets Slapped - Leonid Andreyev (books under 200 pages .TXT) š
- Author: Leonid Andreyev
Book online Ā«He Who Gets Slapped - Leonid Andreyev (books under 200 pages .TXT) šĀ». Author Leonid Andreyev
night? You? a couple of musical donkeys? Tigers, lions? Nobody cares for those hungry cats!
Zinida
Leave the tigers alone.
Mancini
Beg your pardon, Zinida. I did not mean to hurt your feelingsā āhonestly. I really marvel at your furious audacityā āat your graceā āyou are a heroineā āI kiss your tiny hands. But what do they understand about heroism? An orchestra softly plays the Tango in the circus. He continues with enthusiasm. Hear! hear! Now tell me, honest vagabonds, who but Consuelo and Bezano draws the crowds! That Tango on horsebackā āit isā āit isā āOh, the devil! Even his fatuousness the Pope could not withstand its lure.
Polly
True! Itās a great trickā āwasnāt the idea Bezanoās?
Mancini
Idea! Idea! The ladās in love, like a catā āthatās the idea. Whatās the good of an idea without a woman! You wouldnāt dance very far with your idea alone, eh, Papa Briquet?
Briquet
We have a contract.
Mancini
Such base formalities.
Zinida
Give him ten francs and let him go.
Mancini
Ten! Never! Fifteen! Donāt be stubborn, Papa. For the traditions of my houseā ātwenty. I swearā āon my honourā āI canāt do with less. Briquet hands him twenty francs. Nonchalantly. Merci. Thanks.
Zinida
Why donāt you take it from your baron?
Mancini
Raising his eyebrows haughtily, quite indignant. From the Baron? Woman! who do you think I am that I should be beholden to a stranger?
Zinida
Youāre plotting something artful. I know you very little, but I guess youāre an awful scoundrel.
Mancini
Laughs. Such an insult from such beautiful lips.
Enter an āartist,ā apparently an athlete.
Athlete
Papa Briquet, thereās a gentleman from beyond the grave asking for you.
Actress
A ghost?
Athlete
No. He seems alive. Did you ever see a drunken ghost?
Briquet
If heās drunk, tell him Iām out, Thomas. Does he want to see me or the Count?
Athlete
No, you. Maybe heās not drunk, but just a ghost.
Mancini
Draws himself together, puffs up. A society man?
Athlete
Yes. Iāll tell him to come in.
One hears the whip cracking in the ring. The Tango sounds very low and distantā āthen comes nearerā ālouder. Silence.
Briquet
Touching Zinidaās arm. Tired?
Zinida
Drawing back a little. No.
Polly
Your red lion is nervous today, Zinida!
Zinida
You shouldnāt tease him.
Polly
I played a melody from Traviata for him. And he sang with me. Wouldnāt that be a good trick to stage, Papa Briquet?
Thomas brings in the gentleman, points out the manager, and goes heavily away. The gentleman is not young, and he is ugly, but his rather strange face is bold and lively. He wears an expensive overcoat, with a fur collar, and holds his hat and gloves in his hand.
Gentleman
Bowing and smiling. Have I the pleasure of addressing the manager?
Briquet
Yes. Wonāt you sit down, please? Tilly, bring a chair.
Gentleman
Oh! Donāt trouble. Looks around. These are your artists? Very gladā ā
Mancini
Straightening and bowing slightly. Count Mancini.
Gentleman
Surprised. Count?
Briquet
Indignantly. Yes, Count. And whom have I the honour ofā ā
Gentleman
I donāt quite know myselfā āyet. As a rule you choose your own names, donāt you? I have not chosen yet. Later you might advise me about it. I have an idea already, but I am afraid it sounds too much like literatureā āyou know.
Briquet
Literature?
Gentleman
Yes! Too sophisticated. They all look surprised. I presume these two gentlemen are clowns? I am so glad. May I shake hands with them? Stands up and shakes hands with clowns, who make silly faces.
Briquet
Excuse meā ābut what can I do for you?
Gentleman
With the same pleasant, confident smile. Oh. You do something for me? No. I want to do something for you, Papa Briquet.
Briquet
Papa Briquet? But you donāt look likeā ā
Gentleman
Reassuringly. Itās all right. I shall become ālike.ā These two gentlemen just made remarkable faces. Would you like to see me imitate them? Look! He makes the same silly faces as the clowns.
Briquet
Yes! Involuntarily. You are not drunk, sir?
Gentleman
No. I donāt drink as a rule. Do I look drunk?
Polly
A little.
Gentleman
Noā āI donāt drink. It is a peculiarity of my talent.
Briquet
Familiarly. Where did you work before? Juggler?
Gentleman
No. But I am glad you feel in me a comrade, Papa Briquet. Unfortunately I am not a juggler, and have worked nowhereā āI amā ājust so.
Mancini
But you look like a society man.
Gentleman
Oh, you flatter me, Count. I am just so.
Briquet
Well, what do you want? You see I am obliged to tell you that everything is taken.
Gentleman
Thatās immaterial. I want to be a clown, if you will allow me. Some of the actors smile, Briquet begins to grow angry.
Briquet
But what can you do? Youāre asking too much. What can you do?
Gentleman
Why! Nothing! Isnāt that funny! I canāt do a thing.
Briquet
No, itās not funny. Any scoundrel knows that much.
Gentleman
Rather helpless, but still smiling and looking around. We can invent somethingā ā
Briquet
Ironically. From literature?
The clown Jackson enters slowly without being noticed by the others. He stands behind the gentlemen.
Gentleman
Yes, one can find something literary, too. A nice little speech for instance on, letās say, a religious topic. Something like a debate among the clowns.
Briquet
A debate! The devil! This is no academy.
Gentleman
Sadly. I am very sorry. Something else then. Perhaps a joke about the creation of the world and its rulers?
Briquet
What about the police? No, noā ānothing like that!
Jackson
Coming forward. The rulers of the world? You donāt like them? I donāt either. Shake.
Briquet
Introducing. Our chief clown, the famous Jackson.
Gentleman
Enthusiastically. Great heavensā āyou! Allow me to shake hands with you heartily! You, with your genius, you have given me so much joy!
Jackson
Iām glad indeed!
Briquet
Shrugs his shoulders; to Jackson. He wants to be a clown! Look him over, Jim.
Jackson makes a motion at which the gentleman hurriedly removes his coat and throws it on a chair. He is ready for the examination. Jackson turns him round, looking him over critically.
Jackson
Clown? Hm! Turn round then. Clown? Yes?
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