My Mother's Children: An Irish family secret and the scars it left behind. by Annette Sills (epub e reader .TXT) 📗

behaviour as indecent. They saw it as their duty to stamp it out. That was the way their twisted minds worked. Sister Pauline was a fat old sow from Cork. She tormented your mother. We used to call her She Devil.”

Kathleen stared down into her coffee cup.

“She beat your mother. One time she shaved all her lovely hair off.”

I fought back tears then put my hand over hers. “It’s OK, Kathleen. I need to hear this.”

“Those girls have haunted my dreams for most of my life, your mother especially. This is the first time I’ve spoken about any of it. I buried it in the back of my mind, like a stain. When you rang, I knew I had to tell you what happened in there. I had to talk about it to someone after all these years.”

I gestured to the passing waitress and ordered another coffee for us both and a slice of chocolate fudge cake for Kathleen.

“Please, Kathleen, take your time,” I said, when the waitress had gone.

“Your mother was six months pregnant when she arrived. She Devil would make her work in the evenings after the other girls had gone for tea. That’s how we became friends. She Devil would feck off and feed her face and leave us to polish the floors. I was awful relieved to break the silence. Despite her terrible situation your mother was great craic. The pair of us used to slag the nuns big-time. We laughed a lot. She told me all about your father in Manchester and asked me to write to him for her. She told me what to say and I’d memorise it. Then I’d write it down at my digs in the evening and post the letter on my way to Mass. Your father wrote to me at the Kennedys’ address. I let on I had a brother in England then I’d smuggle the letters in to your mother.”

“I can’t thank you enough for that, Kathleen. You took a huge risk.”

“I did it because I thought your mother might lose her mind in there. The day after she gave birth, She Devil had her on her hands and knees scrubbing floors even though she’d torn badly. I never forgot the sight of her, bent double, crying out in pain, blood soaking through the back of her grey dress.”

I inhaled sharply at the memory of Tess on her hands and knees in the back garden of Brantingham Road, manically scrubbing the path.

“She had mental health issues, for most of her life,” I said.

“It doesn’t surprise me after what they did to her in there.”

“Do you think she was singled out because the father of her baby was a Protestant?”

“What?” Kathleen frowned. “But I thought the baby’s father was Seán, your da.”

“No. It was someone from an Anglo-Irish family in her village.”

“Are you serious? Your mother made out it was your father.” Kathleen turned her head and gazed over the sloping lawns and the golf course. “I suppose she was scared I’d turn against her too if she told me the truth.”

The waitress arrived with our coffee and cake. Kathleen chewed on small mouthfuls and helped it down with sips of coffee. The sun was going in and the patio was getting busy with wedding guests. I pulled on my jacket I asked her if she was cold and wanted to go inside but she said she was fine and that her daughter Margaret was coming soon.

“Why did you leave the home?” I asked.

“Ma Kennedy opened one of your da’s letters and I was done for.”

“No way!”

“Oh yes. It wasn’t long after your mother left. I was marched into Mother Superior’s office. She Devil was standing next to the big desk with your da’s loving words in her hands and Mother Superior sprang out from behind the desk and gave me a whack around the head. She was raging. She accused me of aiding and abetting a fallen woman and encouraging her to sin. I told her I’d leave there and then. But she said I was to stay on and work a month without pay as penance or she’d tell my parents. She Devil was going to accompany me to Kennedys’ to fetch my things then I was to live in the home for that last month.”

“Good God!”

“She also said I was to keep away from post boxes.” Kathleen laughed but her face clouded over quickly. “I’d seen older women working in the gardens. They’d been in there for decades. I was terrified and thought they were going to do that to me too. So when I was collecting my things from Kennedys’ I stuffed my savings inside my bra and gave She Devil the slip on the road back. I dropped my suitcase on the side of the road and made a run for it over the fields. Her fat old legs couldn’t catch me and I called her all the names under the sun. I walked for miles in the pitch black and hid in a cowshed for the night. I knew they’d be looking for me all over the town. So the next morning I stole a bike from the side of a house and cycled the thirty-five miles back to Castlebar.”

I clasped my hands together and laughed. “What an amazing story, Kathleen.”

“There’s more. By the time I got home Father McGrath had already got to Mammy and Daddy. The nuns told him I’d compromised myself with a boy in the village near the home and said it would be best for everyone if I went back to avoid bringing shame on my family.”

“You are fucking kidding me!”

“Those bitches lied and tried their best to get me back there because they were terrified I’d talk. But I was lucky. Mammy and Daddy didn’t believe the lies and they showed Father McGrath the door when he returned. But even though I’d done nothing wrong I was sent to London to live with my aunt. I was