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I said, handing them over to the valet a bit sheepishly. I might have been pissed at Xora still, but this woman was a service worker—she wasn’t to blame. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“Do me a favor,” Desdemona snapped, “and warn me next time you’re storing something alive in your ride.” Then her face softened. “Just come up front whenever you need your vehicle,” she said in a kindlier tone. “We’ll have it out for you in a jiffy.”

I didn’t think I’d have much opportunity to go joyriding around Hell, but it was good to keep in mind. “Thanks,” I said double-timing it to catch up with the others.

Xora was busy leading Mareth and Christina across the green, which had cleared out considerably after the little fight over Maddie in my trunk.

“How’s Maddie now?” Christina asked after I’d caught up.

“She’s fine,” I said. “Safe.”

“Uh huh.” Christina’s long tongue slid out of her mouth, teasing the bottom of her chin like she wanted to show me how far she could stick it out. “Did you fuck her?”

I coughed to hide my surprise at the question. “What are you talking about? I don’t just go sticking my dick in every willing woman who comes along, Christina.”

“Sure you don’t.” Her eyes narrowed, the wheels turning behind them. “You made sure to specify penetration, which tells me you did something else with our pantyless little waitress…”

“You’re just jealous,” I laughed, wrapping my hands around her waist. “You wanted another glorious threesome in subspace, didn’t you, babe?”

Her face lit up with triumph. “You did! You went to third base with her instead of all the way, because you’re scared you’re going to turn her into a demon!” She laughed and did a triumphant little jump. “I don’t know why you would be, though. Maddie’s cute. She’d make an awesome fucking demon…”

“The cafeteria is over there,” Xora said, pointing with a slender finger at a two-story building at one corner of the green. “Students at the Academy are automatically enrolled in a meal plan, so you won’t have to worry about food or drink while you’re here. Our menu encompasses a variety of specialty diets—we even have food for humans!” She grinned at me.

“I thought demons ate human food,” I said. “You’re not vegetarians or something, are you?”

Xora blanched, no doubt remembering the way she’d acted around Maddie. “A variety of diets,” she repeated, turning back around and leading us further across the green. “Dorms are over there, which we’ll visit once we’re done with everything else we have to get knocked out this afternoon.”

I turned, looking up. And up. What Xora had casually referred to as the ‘dorms’ was a ten-story building, curved like a horseshoe around the far corner of the Academy’s grounds. In sharp contrast to the buildings around it, there were no turrets, gargoyles or other ostentatious embellishments on the dormitories. It stretched to the sky, sleek and black and obsidian, seemingly carved out of the landscape rather than built.

“That’s huge,” I said, stopping in my tracks beneath the dormitory’s shadow. “You could fit an entire army of demons in there…”

“Several armies,” Xora agreed with good-natured humor. “It’s even bigger on the inside than it appears. Demonic architecture and all that. Around fifty thousand demons call the Academy dorms their home, although max occupancy is around twice that.”

“A hundred thousand,” I repeated, shocked to my core. That meant that even the huge crowds I’d seen so far comprised only a fraction of the full student body. I thought about the possessions and oppressions Mareth had pointed out in Christina’s neighborhood, before we made our journey into Hell. If the ratio of people to demons remained the same across the country, or the world, that meant the Infernal Academy had to train a whole lot of demons.

No wonder they needed dorms that could double as their own city-state.

“We also have commuter students, of course.” Xora said, leading us past the dorms. “Not every demon who attends the Infernal Academy lives on campus — a number of them drive to classes from whichever Circle of Hell they come from.” Her grin widened. “Work-study, you understand.”

As I looked up into one of the windows near the tenth floor, a beautiful purple-skinned demon appeared. She was in the middle of some kind of exercise routine, with weights in both hands and a big fluffy headband around her forehead the same shade as her skin.

She was also topless.

The demon locked eyes with me and grinned. I expected her to yell at me, or realize her nudity and duck away from the window, but she just kept standing there with a smile, inviting me to look. So I did.

Just as she seemed about to pop the window open and invite me up for more, Xora turned around and cupped a hand around her mouth. “Hell to Luke, come in, Luke! We’re way ahead of you here!”

I hustled to catch up, giving the purple-skinned demon an awkward wave. Rain check, maybe, I thought, smirking proudly. It was looking like I might be a popular guy on campus. I’ll have to keep an eye out for you later…

Xora paused at the end of the lane, spreading her arms before a massive four-story building. “And this is where you’ll be taking your classes…”

Gargoyles perched from the sides of it on each floor, their stone faces twisted in leering, wicked expressions of amusement. It was as if they were laughing at anyone foolhardy enough to venture inside, cackling over their eventual fate.

“And here,” the rusalka said, pausing before the stairs, “is where you’ll begin your demonic education. Within these halls, the seven schools of the Infernal Academy strive to provide students with all the tools they need to tempt mortals, bend the nature of reality to their whim, and more.” Xora turned to me, beaming with

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