You Had It Coming by B.M. Carroll (snow like ashes series .txt) 📗

She cries for most of the journey home, overtired and overwhelmed. The toll of seeing the girl, Rachel, in such a bad way. The guilt that all she can offer Seb tonight is a bone-tired husk of his sister. And scathing of herself for falling in love with someone unattainable, yet again.

26

BRIDGET

Laura Dundas was in the middle of her honours’ year at the University of Sydney when she made her shivering near-naked protest outside the courthouse. According to Patrick, she abandoned her studies before the end of the first semester, returning to the family home in the Blue Mountains. Patrick has spoken to her mother, who initially said that Laura was burnt-out and needed a rest. On closer questioning she admitted that her daughter had a serious ‘breakdown’ and was undergoing psychiatric treatment. One night out, life-long implications.

‘This is something I need to talk to the kids about,’ Bridget says to Shane when she gets home late Saturday evening. They decide that the dinner table is the best place to broach the subject. Shane promises to steer the conversation in the desired direction.

‘Hard day at the office?’ he asks Bridget, shortly after they’ve sat down with his homemade green chicken curry, a family favourite.

‘Was it ever …’ Her reply is deliberately lacking. She is hoping for one of the kids to notice, for their curiosity to be piqued.

Cara obliges. ‘What are you working on, Mum?’

‘That defence barrister who was shot outside his house. I’ve been looking into some of the cases he was working on … They’re upsetting, that’s all.’

Again, she stops herself from going further. It needs to come across as organic, rather than engineered.

‘What kind of cases?’ Cara again. Ethan isn’t biting. But he’s listening and watching, hooded eyes glancing at his mother.

‘Sexual assault. The barrister was pretty good at getting people off. He was a hero to his clients but a lot of other people hated him.’

‘Do you think one of the victims killed him?’ Shane asks, his tone casual.

‘Maybe. Or perhaps someone from one of the families. I saw a dad yesterday. He’s devastated, and really, really angry.’

‘Would you kill someone if I got raped?’ Cara demands of her father.

Shane chokes on his food. Bridget winces. Ethan’s eyes fly open.

‘I’d want to,’ Shane says when he recovers himself. ‘But I don’t fancy going to prison, so try not to get yourself into that situation.’

Cara, failing to hear the irony in her father’s voice, immediately goes on the defensive. ‘It’s not as if I could help it! Rapes happen, like, all the time.’

‘Yeah, you can help it.’ Ethan joins the conversation with a tone that’s somewhere between bored and pragmatic. ‘Don’t go off with strange men. Don’t get so pissed someone can take advantage of you. Don’t say yes if you mean no.’

‘All good suggestions.’ Shane nods diplomatically. ‘Also, don’t say nothing. Speak up. Some girls get raped because they don’t want to cause a scene.’

‘I wouldn’t be one of those girls,’ Cara protests, rolling her eyes. ‘I’d knee him where it hurts if he didn’t listen.’

Would she? Bridget is doubtful, but maybe now, after talking about it, the possibility is unlocked.

‘Good,’ says Shane emphatically. Then he turns his eyes to Ethan. ‘And you, young man, should never take advantage of someone who is drunk or under the influence of drugs or just not very communicative. The girl must explicitly say “yes”.’

‘She’d have to be out of her mind to say “yes” to him,’ Cara snorts.

Bridget and Shane smile. Jokes are allowed. Anything is allowed, once the children walk away from this table with a clear understanding of how to act if they should find themselves in a predicament.

Bridget guides the conversation back to her work. ‘One girl had a breakdown and is getting psychiatric treatment. Another is a social hermit, her confidence shattered. The effects can last a long, long time. For both parties.’

Bridget is just as worried for Ethan as she is for Cara. What if her son were to misread the signals? He’s withdrawn at the best of times; how will he find the words to navigate a sexual encounter with a girl? She suspects he would be mute, hoping that the girl was ‘into it’ but not brave enough to double check. Jemma Herrmann was on a different wavelength to her attacker – she thought they were going somewhere to kiss, he assumed they were going to have sex. She froze when things got rough and was too shocked to even say ‘stop’. Bridget doubts Ethan’s ability to read body language; he has enough difficulty with garden-variety spoken language.

‘Most cases don’t go to court,’ Shane adds. ‘It’s because nobody really knows what has happened, other than the two people involved. That’s why you need to do your best to protect yourself. Be clear about what choices you’re making. Keep your wits about you.’

‘He means don’t get pissed,’ Ethan quips.

Bridget resists the temptation to deliver a further caution about the perils of underage drinking. This is more than enough for one sitting.

‘Does anyone want more rice? There’s heaps left over.’

Ethan wants more rice. Like most teenage boys, her son is perpetually famished. Cara’s appetite, while still healthy, seems to have stabilised during the last few months. Her body has the curves of a grown woman. With make-up and the right clothes, she could pass for early twenties. This line of thought is not helping Bridget’s worry levels.

The kids clear the table and disappear upstairs. Shane migrates to the couch and turns on the evening news. Bridget starts cleaning up the kitchen.

‘That went well,’ she says, from her position at the sink.

‘Yeah, very professional for a pair of amateurs.’

They share a grin – sometimes parenting feels like a challenging game of chess, every move requiring scrupulous forward planning.

Bridget finds the washing-up calming. A lot of people say the same about gardening. She sighs; she must really work out a watering roster before the lawn turns to dust. In all other areas, she