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table.

Jane and Felicity shared a bottle of white, Fergus and Rupert a bottle of red, a Diet Coke for Minty, a shandy for me and fizzy lager for the rest.

‘Susie, what is it you’re wanting us to do?’ said Minty.

‘Quick sketches of the performers is what I was thinking.’

‘We’re awfully close to the stage,’ said Rupert.

‘More like a catwalk,’ said Lianne, quite rightly.

‘So Miss, you’re thinking they’re going to appear from behind that curtain?’

‘Duh, of course they are. That’s what Susie wants us to draw.’

‘Energetic scribbles of what’s in front of you.’

‘Doodles,’ said Rupert.

‘Yes. The rhythm of the music should help you get into it.’

And at the mention of the word a great big BANG came from all four corners of the room. A strobe light projected the rays of a rainbow on the ceiling and, with deafening volume, the R&B club song ‘Hot in Herre’ pounded out. A shriek came from the doorway, all heads turned and a lofty woman in a hooded cape wobbled her way towards the stage. The music quietened, lights went down and we were plunged into darkness. Wolf-whistling tore through the silence and then, boom went the speakers, up went the volume, on flashed the lights and here on stage, having abandoned her cloak to the words ‘I want to get my clothes off ’, was the woman in a silver leotard and red stilettos. With a single split of her legs she was down on the ground and a buff man in silver buttock-hugging shorts appeared from behind her. He pranced a circle round her shadow, and with the spring of a leveret he leapt over her head, laying himself down right in front of us. His arm then stretched out towards our table and Felicity shrieked. The soundtrack took a clunky switch to Frank Sinatra’s ‘Come Dance with Me’ and the woman, much to the relief of her crotch I would think, stood up and strutted her stuff down off the stage. She stopped, hovering over our table, beckoning Felicity’s hand. Lianne bounced up out of her chair and with a ‘Don’t you worry, this one’s on me’ she willingly linked arms with the proposer and headed up onto the stage. She was presented to the man and with great cheers from the crowd they waltzed cheek to cheek up and down the stage.

The performance ended, the lights dipped and Fergus’s, ‘Isn’t this great,’ took me by surprise.

‘It’s not burlesque, that’s for sure,’ said Louis.

‘I’m loving it,’ said Giles, toasting Minty’s glass. She gave him a half-hearted smile in response.

‘Thank you, Lianne,’ said Felicity. ‘You really saved me there.’

‘That’s okay, I adore this stuff.’

There was a loud commotion as a group of latecomers entered the hall. A roller-skater led them to the only free table, one near us, and as they filed in I counted ten men. Eight sat down and two spilled over with Fergus and Rupert. One man had the most amazing curly mop of hair. I craned my neck to get a look at his face. Oh heck…what a nightmare…my heart raced out of control and, winded to the core, I shut my eyes. What on earth is Toby Cropper doing here?

A hand squeezed my knee and my body jumped.

‘All right?’ said Louis. ‘I didn’t mean to frighten you.’

I gave him a smile. There’s nothing like revenge to turn up the attraction. Louis was going to be my target tonight.

The music began again, softly this time then gaining in volume as the pink strobe hyperactively dashed round the room. Onto the stage bounced two bodies dressed as Playboy bunnies, complete with big shiny-white front teeth. One masked figure had beautiful smooth legs, the other a hairy pair of tree trunks, and as they bopped around the stage, giving each other bum bumps, it all seemed quite innocent and fun. But then, DJ B’s dance mix started and the performance turned into an orgy à deux. One bunny began humping the other from behind, the latter grinning as it aped eating a carrot. The whole performance was so amateur you couldn’t help but laugh. Even Jane had a smirk on her face. Humpty hump hump they went until, completely exhausted, one cradled the other in its arms, stroking her ears until the soundtrack ran out. To uproars of applause and stamping feet the pair merrily hopped off stage.

When the lights came up I could see out of the corner of my eye that Toby was talking to Fergus. Suddenly he looked straight across at me. His eyebrows rose as high as a kite. Oh crumbs, he got up and was now coming around the table.

‘Suthie,’ he slurred as he bent down and kissed me. ‘Never thought I’d see you here.’

‘Me neither,’ I replied as Louis stretched his arm across my waist.

‘Louis Bouchon, nice to meet you.’

‘Toby Cropper.’

Then, looking round the table, flashing his charming smile at everyone, he said, ‘You’re all on an art residency? Suthie’s your tutor?’

‘Yes,’ grinned Minty, rising to his good looks.

‘You must be a friend of Susie’s?’ said Jane.

Toby looked me up and down. ‘Yes.’

‘What are you doing here?’ I asked.

‘Stag do with that bunch over there.’

‘Yours?’ said Louis as my heart went into palpitations.

‘Not yet,’ said Toby with a laugh.

‘If you want to catch up with Susie,’ said Lianne, ‘I can swap places with you.’

No! No! Lianne you silly girl. My insides cramped up until Toby said, ‘You wouldn’t really want to, they’re a rowdy bunch over there.’ Then looking at his friends, who were having a right laugh, he said a quick, ‘See ya, Suthie,’ and was off.

Giles clicked his fingers and a waitress arrived.

‘What can I get ya?’ she asked.

‘Lager for everyone?’ said Giles. Jane and Felicity had hardly made a dent in their bottle.

We all nodded and pooled our cash.

‘Bet you didn’t expect to meet an old lover here,’ Louis whispered in my ear.

I froze. ‘Not much gets by you French.’

He winked at me and smiled as if he knew I needed

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