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the crash. I was lucky it didn’t hit me.’

Laura’s puzzled facial expression tells me that she isn’t convinced, but I don’t need her to be. I just needed her to not see the news. Thank God I came back when I did and not ten minutes later. Then she would know by now that the man she had an affair with is missing. She would also know that there is currently no ongoing search for me or anyone else in connection with the ‘hit and run’. It wouldn’t be good if Laura found out about either of those two pieces of information on their own, never mind combined. Then she would really start to suspect that something was seriously wrong. But I’ve just averted a minor crisis. She doesn’t know about any of it. Not yet.

All I need now is one more day and then she can know everything.

‘Are you okay?’ I ask when I notice she is staring at the TV, but she ignores my question.

‘Laura?’ I try again, and that snaps her out of her trance and gets her to look at me. But she still seems distracted.

What’s going on in that mind of hers?

‘I’m fine. But I might go and have a lie down,’ she eventually says.

‘I’ll come with you if you like?’ I offer.

‘No, it’s okay. Do you mind finishing unpacking the shopping?’

‘Sure.’

I watch my wife carefully as she climbs the stairs until she is out of view before I return to the kitchen and take out the last few items in the plastic bags. I think about making a sandwich with some of the items I picked up on my way back from the police station, but I stop because something is bothering me. Laura seemed different with me then. I expected her to be annoyed about the satellite dish getting broken, and even a little angry, but it’s not that. It’s something else.

She seemed troubled. 

But why? Does she suspect that I’m not telling her the truth about how the dish got broken? Or was I too late to break it? Did she see something on the news before it cut out?

The unsettled feeling in my stomach makes me feel like it is the latter.

35

LAURA

What the hell is going on? What has happened to him?

Why is Bradley missing?

I saw and heard just enough of the news report on the TV before the signal cut out to learn that the man I started an affair with a year ago is now missing. I saw his photo on the screen. I heard the news presenter say his name and inform the viewers that concerns are growing for his safety because he hasn’t been seen in three days. And I even saw footage of his teary wife sitting on her sofa opposite a reporter, presumably just about to tell her story.

But then the screen went black, and I couldn’t watch anymore.

I’m not sure what happened, but I know what I’m supposed to believe. I’m supposed to believe that the wind brought down half of the satellite dish. That’s what Adam has told me. But is it the truth?

I’m back in bed and trying to get some rest because I’m feeling a little jaded right now, but it has nothing to do with the baby I’m carrying. It’s because I’m trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I don’t know what could have happened to Bradley. If only I’d been able to watch the full report. All I know is that it didn’t sound good and his wife looked distraught.

His wife.

I know that the reason for my bad feelings at this moment aren’t just caused by the stress of the situation I’m in or the shock of seeing Bradley’s photo flash up on the news. They are also caused by the guilt I felt when I saw his wife on the screen because I know something about her husband that she doesn’t.

I know that he isn’t the perfect man she thinks he is.

I regret my affair with Bradley, and I’m glad it stopped before any real damage was done to either of our marriages. Neither Adam nor Holly, Bradley’s spouse, found out about what we did behind their backs, and I’m thankful for that because what happened wasn’t worth blowing up two marriages for. Bradley and I were just two co-workers who had a little too much to drink one night and ended up kissing. The fact we continued to meet up in secret for several illicit rendezvous in the couple of months that followed is regrettable, and I don’t really know what got into me. My marriage with Adam had been perfect at the time, and it wasn’t as if I had a wandering eye for anybody, let alone a guy I shared an office with. It just happened after a particularly boozy night of work drinks. We ended up on our own, away from the rest of our colleagues. We were drunk. The music was loud. I temporarily forgot about the world that was waiting for me outside that little pub by the station. I welcomed in the idea of him kissing me. And then it happened on the platform.

So began a three month affair.

I wanted it to stop. I told Bradley it had to, and he agreed with me each time I said it. I loved Adam. He loved Holly.

We were just being silly.

But we just couldn’t help ourselves.

We went out drinking together several times, often cosying up in the corners of pubs and bars and kissing over a couple of drinks like we were two love-drunk teenagers. We even went for a few meals together, although we spent less time eating and more time playing footsy underneath the table. And much to my eternal shame, we even went to a hotel room a few times, locking ourselves away from the world for two hours before walking back separately through the reception and catching the train

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