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that was missing, and I knew that part would be nearly impossible to ever find again. Now, the man responsible for that missing piece was offering to help locate it for me, and I had every intention of taking him up on that offer.

“Can you give me her birthday, and do you remember the name of the hospital where you had her?”

I gave him all the details. As I watched him scribble everything down on a napkin, my mind slowly began to drift back to that warm August day….

I was in labor for eight hours before she finally decided to make her entrance into the world. As much as I wanted the pain to go away, I didn’t want her to come out because I knew it would be the end. I’d never feel her flutter around in my belly again. For those nine months she had been my only comfort and my only friend. I’d talk to her every day and tell her about my hopes and fears. I didn’t feel so lonely knowing she was growing inside me. I fought against my body and the doctor’s orders in those final moments as he and everything inside me were telling me to push. I was trying to hold on a little while longer just to have more time with her, but the natural process of labor wouldn’t allow it. When I heard her cries for the very first time, my arms yearned to hold her. “Is it a girl?” I asked the nurse. She reluctantly nodded. I wasn’t supposed to know any details of this human being I carried around for nine months and then pushed out of me. “Can I please see her?” My exhausted voice wavered.

“No. You need some rest,” the nurse replied. “Go to sleep. It’s all over.”

I shook my head, trying desperately to swallow the painful lump in my throat. Through my stinging tear-filled eyes, I watched as they wrapped her in a blanket and whisked her out of the room, not even allowing me a small glimpse of my baby girl. I would’ve suffered a thousand more days like the day Dominick had raped me just to not have to suffer the pain I was feeling inside of my heart at that moment. I felt so empty and more alone than ever. How could I go on living my life, knowing that a child of mine who I’d never know existed somewhere?

“I’ll keep you posted on whatever I find out,” Tommy spoke, snapping me from my daydream.

My gaze met his, and I was finally able to look at him for the first time since he had sat down with a clear head. Here I was making a pact with a man who was once the love of my life and then my greatest enemy. But as I stared into brown eyes this time, it was as if every single emotion I had felt for him in the past had faded. I didn’t love him and I didn’t hate him anymore either.

I reached into the pocket of my purse and pulled out the locket I had carried everywhere with me. Another one of my silly superstitions, thinking it would bring me luck or maybe it was because it made me feel as if I was carrying a part of her around with me. Stretching my arm across the table, I uncurled my fingers. “I found this at a flea market when I was pregnant. I bought it with the allowance my aunt had given me for doing chores around the house. I always knew she was a girl. I called her Annie whenever I’d talk to her in my belly. When I saw this locket with that name etched across it, I had to buy it. I thought it was fate, and maybe a sign that everything would be okay. I’ve carried it around with me every single day of my life since then. I want you to take it while you try and find her. Maybe it will bring you some luck.” I placed it in the palm of his hand, and he gazed down at the shiny gold heart.

“Annie,” he whispered as a lone teardrop rolled past his cheek. “My daughter…her name was Annie.”

Chapter 25

I WAS A blubbering mess by the time she finished telling me about her meeting with Tommy. We both grabbed napkins from the holder on the table and dabbed our eyes. “We must look crazy to anyone watching us.” Francesca smiled through her tears.

“So, how did you know he found me, and why did he…why did he kill himself?” I asked.

She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope that was addressed to her. She nodded, giving me permission to take the letter out. I unfolded the paper and kept my napkin close by, certain I was going to need it once again when I was done reading it.

Dear Frankie,

I found her. Her name is Stephanie McGuire. She’s a teacher and has a daughter in college. They’re both beautiful women, although it doesn’t surprise me, knowing who their mother and grandmother are. When I met up with you at the coffee shop, I never expected to be taking a cross-country trip to find a daughter I never knew I had, but I’m so glad I did.

What I didn’t tell you that day was I have stage four lung cancer and have only been given a short time to live. So seeing my daughter and granddaughter for the very first time before I leave this earth was the best gift I could’ve asked for. It also got me thinking of how different things could’ve been, and how Dominick altered that life I could’ve had. You have a chance to let the world know what Dominick did to you…and to us. Don’t let him get away with it again. Be the voice for that woman he’s done this to once again. A voice that no one had for you.

My guilt

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