Sunkissed by Kasie West (english novels for students TXT) 📗

convince my mom to go see him.”

“Why do you have to convince her to do that? Doesn’t she want to?”

He let out a heavy sigh. “I think half the reason she put him in a care facility is so she doesn’t have to deal with everything. The other half is so she can pretend he’s already gone.” There was anger in his words but also so much sadness.

My breath caught in my throat. “I’m sorry, Brooks.”

“It’s why my mom and I have been at odds for the last several years.”

“I can understand why.”

“You probably think I’m selfish for coming up here when I’m really all he has.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think that at all. I understand why you might need to get away from the pressure of all that for a little while. Maybe you hoped that if you left, she’d step up.” I suddenly understood why Brooks had snapped at Kai the other day, telling him he needed to take care of himself.

He strummed his guitar, even with my hand on his arm. “I need to stop thinking about it. Let’s just practice.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to do this tonight.”

He kept strumming as his answer.

“Brooks, talk to me. This can wait.”

“I don’t want to talk. I want to work.”

“Then let’s work…I guess.” I pulled out the lyrics, which I had folded into a square, and unfolded them. He immediately snatched them from me and crumpled them into a ball. I gasped. “Why did you do that?”

“You don’t need them. You wrote this song.”

“Technically, I only wrote parts of this song…and we only finished it yesterday.”

He threw the crumpled ball over his shoulder. “You know you don’t need the lyrics. You’re using them so you don’t have to look at your audience.”

He was right; they’d been my crutch all week. I turned toward the boxes across the room, my head up. “Okay, fine. I’m ready.”

He sighed impatiently. “I’m your audience.”

“I won’t be looking at you the day of our audition. I’ll be looking ahead.” I gestured toward the boxes like they would be there at the end of the week, judging me.

“A person with a face will be your audience. You need to get used to it. Today, that person is me.”

Even though I didn’t think a beautiful boy with bright blue eyes and gorgeous hair would be my audience, he was right. I needed to get used to looking at eyes that would be looking at me. So I stared at him as he started to play.

“You missed your cue,” he said.

“I know.” Tears stung my eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t do this right now. You’re snapping at me, and normally you have happy eyes and right now your eyes are super intense. And even though logically I get that it’s because you’re in a bad mood about really important things, it’s stressing me out.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Brooks, seriously.” I stood. “Let’s just come back tomorrow.”

“Whoa, hold up.”

I had started to walk away and he jumped up and caught my arm before I could leave. He put his hands gently on my shoulders. “Look at me for a second.”

“I can’t,” I said.

“I’m sorry I’m taking my bad mood out on you.”

I shrugged.

“But that’s not why you’re leaving.”

I finally looked up, my brows drawn low. His eyes were no less intense.

“You’re leaving,” he said, “because you don’t want to look at me and sing. Doing that would make this feel real. You’re scared.”

“What if I can’t do this? What if I freeze up?”

“I get it. You don’t want to look stupid.”

Shay and Trent popped into my head with his words—an image of them kissing. “Yes…,” I said, knowing more than anything that’s how Shay had made me feel—like a fool. Like a naïve fool. My stinging eyes threatened to become actual tears, so I pulled away and sat on the floor in front of the couch.

“Avery, you can do this. You’ve been doing this all week. You sound amazing.” He joined me on the floor, shoulder touching mine.

“You’d tell me if you didn’t think I could do this, right? You wouldn’t just let me walk up there and do something I shouldn’t be doing.”

“Yes, I’d tell you. I promise.”

I leaned my head back on the cushion. The light overhead was a chandelier—tiered, with white teardrop jewels hanging from each level. I’d never noticed it before because the ceiling was pretty high. It looked fancy in this small room, out of place. “My best friend kissed my ex-boyfriend two days before I came here.”

“Um…Wow.”

“Telling you that makes me feel stupid. Maybe that will warm me up for singing.”

“Wait.” He turned, putting his elbow on the couch cushion and propping up his head. “Why would that make you feel stupid?”

“Because I should’ve seen it coming.”

“You should’ve? Does your best friend have a habit of betraying you?”

“No.”

“Your boyfriend? Does he?”

“No.”

“Then you most definitely shouldn’t have seen it coming. The only people who should feel stupid in that scenario is them.” It was quiet for two beats and then he said, “What did you do when you found out?”

“What could I do? It happened and I came here.”

“Pay phone girl?” he said.

“Yes, Shay.”

“Is that why she was so desperate to talk to you?”

“Yes, and I should’ve just talked to her, got it over with, let her apologize, because now it’s just lingering.”

He gave my knee two bumps with the side of his closed fist. “You’re allowed to be mad.”

“I’m not.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t like to be mad. And honestly, I don’t like it when people are mad at me.”

He nodded toward the door I had nearly walked out of minutes ago. “I was never mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”

“I know. I don’t like that either.”

He laughed. “Nobody is allowed to be mad ever?”

“In my perfect world.”

“Your perfect world sounds exhausting.”

I shook my head even though I was still lying back on the couch. “No, it would be amazing.”

“So you’re ready to forgive your friend because anger is better if nonexistent?”

I