The Atmospherians by Alex McElroy (reading fiction .TXT) 📗

for anyone who’d ever been hurt. A song I played on repeat to torture myself. I never lied to Blake once throughout our relationship—and I normally lied to my boyfriends, often out of boredom. But Blake never bored me. He may’ve been the first boyfriend I actually loved. I’d shown him parts of myself I’d never shown anyone. But he was too conceited to notice.

what the men needed to know

Your pain won’t impress anyone.

The people your pain does impress aren’t worth impressing.

Crying is worth it.

Talking is worth it.

Walls are not for punching.

Windows are not for punching.

Women and children and most other men are not for punching.

Top Gun is a terrible movie.

The Godfather is boring.

Be more like Peter.

No, you could not have gone pro if your knee didn’t give out in high school.

Doors are not for slamming.

Mugs are not for throwing.

You’re only trying to make people fear you because you’re scared of yourself.

the difficulties of manhood: a questionnaire

Do you find it difficult being a man in this world?

I find it impossible.

Way harder than being a woman.

It’s just gettin’ harder.

There used to be a time when it was okay to be manly.

Choose one of the following that best describes you:

Patriotic

Virtuous

Committed

Athletic

Ambitious

Selective

Passionate

Enlightened

Collegiate

Youthful

Helpful

Driven

Intellectual

Choose one of the following that best describes you:

Unemployed.

Underemployed.

Jobless.

Seething with rage over the difficulty of being a man.

Men’s problems are not discussed often enough in the media.

Strongly Agree.

Agree.

Somewhat Agree.

Don’t Disagree.

Strongly Don’t Disagree.

Many communities (churches, men’s groups, poker clubs, Proud Boys) promise to help men with their issues but fail to deliver.

Absolutely.

Makes sense.

No doubt.

I’ve been saying this for years.

What type of support do you most expect from a community?

Job training.

Housing.

Meals of an appropriate size.

Physical and emotional detoxification.

Core issues for men include (select all that apply):

Unreasonable expectations for how much food should be eaten.

Unreasonable expectations for financial status.

Unreasonable expectations for physical fitness.

Unreasonable expectations for emotional intelligence.

Unreasonable expectations for romantic relationships.

Unreasonable expectations for parental duties.

Unreasonable expectations for intellectual intelligence.

Unreasonable expectations for employment.

Unreasonable expectations.

I’m still so mad at my father.

Strongly Agree.

Agree.

Somewhat Agree.

Don’t Disagree.

Strongly Don’t Disagree.

If I go missing people will look for me

True.

False.

If you answered “True” for the previous question, please discontinue completing this form.

Despite the failures of past communities, there is a community out there for me.

True.

Very True.

Communities foster the following positive outcomes:

Self-Confidence.

Emotional Growth.

Networking.

Wealth.

Communities are sometimes referred to as cults. This is _______ (select one answer):

Unfair.

Unconscionable.

Shortsighted.

Prejudiced.

What credentials do you expect from the leader of a community?

Honorable discharge from the armed forces.

Certificate of Excellence bestowed by the Sussex County Community College School of Performative Drama.

Four-year degree.

Trial by fire.

My father never said “sorry.” It’s why I am how I am.

Strongly Agree.

Agree.

Somewhat Agree.

Don’t Disagree.

Strongly Don’t Disagree.

The following phrase best describes me:

I am at risk of joining a man horde.

I am not not at risk of joining a man horde.

It is likely I will join a man horde if I continue on my current path.

It is unlikely I am unlikely to join a man horde if I continue on my current path.

The problem with being a man is that you’re always expected to stand in the spotlight.

Absolutely.

Undoubtedly.

Absolutely.

I’m learning so much.

Everything you’ve ever been told about being a man is a lie.

Strongly Agree.

Agree.

Somewhat Agree.

Don’t Disagree.

Strongly Don’t Disagree.

How important is food in your life?

I’m sick of picking meat from my molars.

I only eat microwave meals.

Food just gets you in trouble.

I’ve considered giving it up.

Please list your favorite foods

____

It’s so hard for men in this world.

True.

Very True.

If a friendly, encouraging leader named Dyson possessing a Certificate of Excellence from the Sussex County Community College School of Performative Drama started a group called The Atmosphere at an abandoned summer camp in New Jersey for men to receive job training, coping skills, emotional support, housing, appropriately sized meals, and strategies for living safely out of the spotlight, if this was a place where you were free to be your truest self, where your earnings could support a community that values and admires you, what would you say?

Sign me up.

How do I join?

That’s what I need.

Can I start today?

The Atmosphere is your family now.

The Atmosphere is my family now.

The Atmosphere is my family now.

The Atmosphere is my family now.

The Atmosphere is my family now.

twenty

FOUR WEEKS AFTER the men arrived, Dyson mailed a letter to the news station that covered the Hertz Shirts incident. Inside was a single document: a questionnaire titled “The Difficulties of Manhood.” Dyson created the document in secret and mailed it in secret; he knew I wouldn’t approve of bringing unneeded attention to us. But he was adamant about correcting the false narrative that I was running The Atmosphere.

“I want to keep your name out of the press,” he said as he set up the cabin’s hot spot following the lecture. The station planned to run a story about us on the ten o’clock news.

“Are you trying to save my reputation or establish yours?”

“You always think the worst of me,” he said.

“Not always,” I said, but apologized nonetheless. It was true that I was losing confidence in him. The pressure of running a cult was eroding our friendship. We sniped. We griped. We willfully disengaged from the sort of conversations we had once considered essential to the success of The Atmosphere. At night, I no longer asked him how the lecture had gone; he no longer asked what the men and I discussed during PIEs. Most nights, when he returned after the lecture, we tuned each other out over movies, pretending the day hadn’t happened. Rather than try to regain the openness he and I once shared, I began to imagine opening up to Peter instead, assuming it would be easier to create something new than recover what I was losing with Dyson.

“The questionnaire isn’t perfect and it isn’t meant to be,” he said. “But it should bring us attention—and that’s what we need more than anything else. Even bad attention. The worst thing you can be is boring when you’re starting out.”

“Bad attention won’t get us investors,” I told him.

“Not right away. But the most important thing is to get