The Role Model: A shocking psychological thriller with several twists by Daniel Hurst (big ebook reader txt) 📗

which I was going to tell Chloe was to be used for carrying the money in case she asked me about that too. I also figured that it would be much easier to walk to the hotel in trainers than heels, and I am glad of the comfort my current footwear provides me with as I walk away from my house and onto the street, heading in the direction of the town centre.

It’s a mild finish to the afternoon, too warm for wearing a coat, but I keep it on as I move past my neighbours’ houses, hoping that none of them look out and wonder what the hell happened to my hair since they last saw me. I knew there was no way of hiding my new hair colour from Chloe, other than wearing some kind of large hat which would have only attracted even more attention, so I just gave her some cover story about wanting to try being blonde before I was forty and left it at that. She seemed to buy it, but then again, she’s got more important things to think about than what her mum is doing with her hair these days.

She was lying on her bed when I looked in on her to say goodbye, and I saw an open textbook beside her, so I presume she is going to be revising, or at least thinking about doing it at some point. But she was staring up at the ceiling when I saw her, and I had obviously caught her in some kind of daydream because she looked a little surprised when she saw me.

‘I’m just going, love,’ I had told her, peeking around the door. ‘I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

‘Be careful,’ she replied, and for a second, I had worried that she was going to get up and give me a hug because then she would have realised my choice of clothing was as unexpected as my change in hair colour. But she just stayed on the bed, and I smiled at her before closing the door and leaving her alone.

As I leave my street, I think about how I can’t wait to get back here again because that will mean it’s all over. I will have spent an hour in that hotel room with Jimmy, and I will have kept my part of the deal, meaning that he should be happy to keep his. That will at least put to bed some of the nagging fears that are swirling around my tired brain, although I’ll still be a long way from being content. I hate the fact that I have to give my body to this man, but maybe this is my punishment for what I have done in my past. I’d have hoped that all the guilt, regret and constant looking over my shoulder would have been enough, but I don’t get to decide that.

When you break the law, all bets are off.

I check the time as I walk past the bus stop, aware that to stop and wait for public transport would be easier on my legs but less so on my mind, which is only being kept clear by the fact that I am walking in the fresh air. That’s why I set off a little earlier than I needed to. I wanted to try and experience some of the benefits of getting a little light exercise out in daylight before I must subject myself to another form of exercise behind closed doors in a dark room.

There’s much in my life that I have learnt to live with, and today will just have to be another one of those things. Like everything else, I will find a way to cope, whether it’s with alcohol, throwing myself into work, or getting myself to the point where I’m so exhausted that my tired body has little option but to give me the brief reprieve of sleep.

Maybe when all of this is over, and when Chloe is away at university, I can think about making some permanent changes in my life that might help me deal with my troubled past. I could sell the house and move to a different part of town, or maybe even the next town over if I really wanted to. I could distance myself from not only the places that hold so many memories for me here but also many of the people too. A different town would mean different stories in the newspapers and less chance of being reminded constantly of things I’d much rather try and forget. I don’t have to cut ties with my family or friends, but I can see them a little less, maybe taking the opportunity to forge new relationships with people who give me the feeling that I’m a different person now and have unburdened myself from the shackles of my old life.

Maybe Jimmy has actually done me a favour by getting me to change my hair colour. Now the person staring back at me in the mirror looks a little different, and that might be a good thing. I wonder what else I could change. Like a snake shedding its skin, perhaps the more I lose of my old self, the more I will be free to start the next part of my life.

There is no doubt that it would be easier to do with Chloe away at university. Many of my daily responsibilities will be removed instantly when she packs her things and heads to Newcastle, and the change in my routine can be a welcome one. It’s not that I won’t miss her, of course I will, but if everything stays the same, how will anything ever get better? I know the change will be good for her too. The sooner she finishes college and gets away from all those people talking about Rupert, the better. Like I could do if I move town, Chloe will meet new people, and the change of